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amerz's picture

Submitted by amerz on Sat, 03/31/2012 - 4:36pm

So thursday DH got a text from BM that SD9 didn't want to come for her visit this weekend. DH asked for SD9 to call him after school. DH told SD9 that was unacceptable, she had already been gone for 2 1/2 weeks and that she needed to come this weekend. So we picked up skids together from school yesterday and sat them down before my BD8 came home from the bus. Apparently BM has been coercing SD9 to not come to our house and it's been working. It has not affected SS13 though. SD9 informed us that it's easier to hurt DH and I rather than BM because her wrath is much worse. So basically both skids admitted that their bad behavior is due to BM trash talking us constantly and that they were unsure what to believe. They said they want to believe their BM because of who she is, but after our talk they understand that maybe she isn't always telling the truth and that if they have questions about what she says it's ok to ask us but not throw things like that out there to simply hurt us. I am hopeful that we will start to see some changes and that things will return to the way they used to be before all the bad behavior started. SD9 decided she wants to continue to live with us 50% of the time like before. Keeping my fingers crossed that things will start to change :/

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amerz's picture

Submitted by amerz on Sat, 03/31/2012 - 4:57pm

I truly do NOT understand this either!! DH & BM were married 8 1/2 years. it was BM who actually said she wanted the divorce. Mind you DH was happy about that decision because he was simply staying because he felt that was what was best for the children. BM acts like DH just walked out on her and has been very spiteful for the past 4 years. BM gets very jealous anytime DH & I buy a vehicle or are able to take all the kids somewhere fun. We certainly do not have tons of money and try very hard to make it count when we can do something. It's not as often or elaborate as we would sometimes like, but it's what we can do. BM tries very hard to convince skids that DH does not help financially at all and that he's basically a dead beat. Eventhough they have 50/50 custody, DH still pays child support weekly and helps pay 50% of school fees, supplies, extra cirriculars, etc. We have tried our best to get along and co-parent between the houses and yet she still feels the need to manipulate the skids into believing we are pieces of shit. I really want to tell the kids some of the things I know about thier BM to make them see the truth, but at the same time I don not want to stoop to her lvel or make the skids feel bad.
The reason I'm not completely sold on whether or not this behavior will change is because skids are also becoming master manipulators like BM and are very good at giving us lip service. So I guess time will tell...