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a little poll about manipulative kids...

young_step_mom's picture

Submitted by young_step_mom on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 11:04am

So I mentioned recently that SS has been overly nice and even said he wants to live with DH and I. We ran into his SF who SS loooooves and he didn't even want to say hi. I don't know what brought on this change and someone suggested that he may be manipulating us and saying the same things to BM.

I don't think (or maybe I don't want to think) SS is manipulating us. He isn't even 5 yet.

I guess my question is, at what age do kids start manipulating? What have been your guys' experience with manipulative SK.

Comments

bellflower's picture

Submitted by bellflower on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 11:17am

I think kids manipulate at all ages and it is much easier in a shared custody situation. The question is what does he want? Does he want you to like him? Does he feel conflicted about liking one parent over the other? If you figure out what he wants then you can teach him the appropriate way to share that need. If he thinks you will like him more if he says you want to live with him, then maybe respond with I will like you no matter where you live.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 03/22/2012 - 11:40am

Pretty much soon after they come out of mommykins va-j-j. Ever heard of the "night owl" infant who wants to stay up all night and sleep during the day? I had one of those. My biodaughter wanted to make ME conform to HER schedule at eight months old. NOPE! She cried it out and in a week she was CURED!!

Your 4 year old is well on his way to earning his "parental manipulation badge."