Second therapy session

We had the second session where we went as a family. Ss started crying before we even went in so that was not great.

He did the same thing as last time. Telling us a terrible thing that happened to him. I was in tears this time. And my stomach was churning. I was this close to throwing up. Even my Dh was tearing up. And after he says he has plently more things to share with us.

Well, he officially found a way to punish us. All we want to do is help. And after when it was our turn to talk, he was plugging up his ears, looking absolutely furious. And when we were talking about how proud we were of his grades he told us to shut up.

The therapist wants to do this again. I am not going this time. I am not going to go through those sleepless nights again. Oh god, I am still haunted by what he told us today. It is a billion times worse hearing it from him.

He is sleeping right now. It was exhausting. We'll probably have a late dinner. My Dh planned a Disney/Pixar movie marathon that he would watch with Ss. My kids aren't here for the march break. My Dh took the entire week off to be with Ss. Hopefully the week goes well.

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He says its beneficial for Ss

He says its beneficial for Ss to see that we care and are willing to stand by him through everything. And its a way for us to communicate, which doesnt happen very well at home. I am not that strong I hate doing it.

I don't know how you sat thru

I don't know how you sat thru two session already. Is the therapist saying you have to be there? I wouldn't go anymore. He is trying to shock you and hurt you by putting it all out there. Do you and DH see the therapist without SS being there?

We see our own therapists.

We see our own therapists. Its the only way we can cope. But this therapist is one that only Ss sees regularly. He says its best if I come too. But I am rethinking it all.

((Praying)) Maybe SS feels

((Praying))

Maybe SS feels like if he tells you EVERYthing, then you will think he's digusting and won't want him...which will shore up his "I'm nothing" belief.
I sure hope patience and love wins out on this one. This poor kid. I can't stand people who hurt children.

That is what the therapist

That is what the therapist said. That he is testing us. I feel like he is just punishing us. And its working. I hope love wins too. But day by day, my hope keeps getting chipped away.

The therapist is right. Your

The therapist is right. Your SS feels that, after what he has gone through, he isn't worthy of the caring you and his dad (or anyone) have to give. He's trying to prove it via a self- fulfilling prophecy. Once he's told you the worst of what he went through, he thinks you'll not be there for him (like his BM). You just need to try to be strong enough for him.

No child should ever have to work that hard to find support, but I know you and your DH can do it together!

Yes I think he is trying to

Yes I think he is trying to shock you. I am so sorry.

I wonder if you or DH could say, nothing you tell us is going to make me stop loving you ss???

God bless you for being there for him!!!! Hugs

We do say that. Nothing gets

We do say that. Nothing gets to him. Its so frustrating And I feel so guilty for not wanting to go back again. But its really difficult.

Well, he did the same thing

Well, he did the same thing in the last therapy session. I couldn't eat properly for a few days after that one. He fond out what our buttons are and just keps pushing them. He doesnt want us at the sessions and he's trying his best to acomplish that. It definitely is working.

You, and your family have

You, and your family have been on my mind today. I've just wondered how things were for you. And said a prayer for SS.

I hope you reconsider the therapy sessions. I can't begin to even imagine how hard it would be to sit there and listen. But I think ss is trying to see at exactly what point you will find him unloveable. At what point will you turn from him. Because after all he had to do something hugely wrong for that to happen to him. Plus you have no idea what tba JA said to him. I'm sure there was more than sexual abuse.

I hope you and DH find a way to crack his wall and bring him the ability to cope.

That is sort of what the

That is sort of what the therapist said. THat Ss is testing us. There was definitely more than sexual abuse. THere was physical torture, and the mental abuse. Ss's has no self-esteem. He can't find anything good about himself. Even though there are so many things. I feel like such a baby for feeling upset at hearing all these things. Can you imagine living through them

You, and your family have

You, and your family have been on my mind today. I've just wondered how things were for you. And said a prayer for SS.

I hope you and DH find a way to crack his wall and bring him the ability to cope.

Be strong. Stare him down and

Be strong. Stare him down and if nothing else say "I am still here".
What happened to him is outrageous and evil. Pure evil. BUT good always overcomes evil. I can promise you that. And he still has a breath in his body and wasn't killed. So he IS worth it and ne IS redeemable.

He wants the attention. He wants to frighten you. But most importantly, he has found his voice and is being heard. You know the old saying "A problem shared is a problem halved." His problems are not so dark, dirty and secret once you know about them.
They are out in the open and light is shining on them and weakening them.

Sure, he has a long way to go. A very long way. But he is a child, a broken child who needs the strength of his loving parents to be there, even silently being there, to support him.
I know it hurts. I cannot begin to understand or comprehend. But being there opens up the wounds and the infection that is destroying his soul is coming out. Until he gets it out he will not even begin to recover.

Be strong for him. You are only listening to it. He lived it. But in time he will run out of shock value. Isn't it better he talk than to clam up and fester and destroy his soul? And you need to hear it. There were not living Halocaust victims, only survivors. He is a survivor.

And may that bastard and bitch who nearly destroyed his soul meet their just desserts.

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