Is love enough?
I have said numerous times that if the drama with my skids and BM had started prior to marriage I would have walked away and never looked back, now my question?
My sister is engaged to be married to a man with 2 adult skids, there has been drama since they got together, her fiancé continues to discuss the "kids" with his ex....and when I say discuss I mean she's screaming at him that he's a horrible father, that his future wife needs to stay out of everything, etc.
She has disengaged from the skids but has to watch him be hurt all the time. They have tried to all get along without success. Each and every time dtr comes home from college it all starts again.
So, is love enough to have this strain on a new marriage?
I can tell they are both happy when the drama isn't going on, but when it is they are both hurting and miserable. There is a grandchild that is used as a pawn in the middle of all this.
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^^^^This they have to come
^^^^This
they have to come together and set proper boundaries. if he doesn't respect her thoughts and feelings now then he never will.
you see I hate it when small
you see I hate it when small children are used as pawns. It makes me feel so sad.
My suggestion is going to be
My suggestion is going to be exactly what I would have done had I had warning (I did not even meet the skids until a year after FH and i were living together - although in hind sight the "it can wait until they are READY to meet you" should have been a BIG warning, huh? Wow was I a dumbass!)
Tell her to continue to date him and have a great time together but DO NOT move in together or get married. Right now is the best it will ever be. Once he is comfortable it will only get worse. Pretty sure I can get an "amen" on that from just about all of us!