Need ideas for backtalk...
so ss is already full on grounded. No electronics, tv, is supposed to be in his room unless eating, bathroom, or helping with some sort of chore. However, whenever I have asked him to do anything all week he argues with me. Talks back and is disrespecful. What on earth is there left to punish him with? Also he consistently comes out of his room over and over again. DH would need to sit outside his door to make him stay in there-anytime dh or myself are not looking he comes out-so THAT is not even effective. I think it is sooo sad that this kid has lived here for a week and we've already run out of punishment options.
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When my SS is unmanageable
When my SS is unmanageable (it doesn't happen often but it DOES happen!) I "punish" him with what he hates the most. Work. I force him to engage and write something. One time I asked him to write me a letter explaining why he was behaving the way he was behaving and what he would do to improve his behavior. Another time, he was being pretty darn bratty so I asked him to write 100 times "I will not argue when my parents ask me to do something." He was so sick and tired of writing at the end of it all, he waved his white flag. Just like training a puppy, you have to establish that you and DH are alpha and he just needs to follow in the pack or he'll get crated!!! :jawdrop: I didn't mean that literally.
i was going to suggest
i was going to suggest sentences, too. bd and sd hated them and that's what they got every time they stepped out of line. the hatred in sd's eyes when i assigned her sentences was all it took for me to know i found the perfect punishment for her.
Okay, I know I'm probably
Okay, I know I'm probably going to catch a LOT of flack for this, but I'll put it out there anyways.
My DS went thru a period of INTENSE lying, back-talking, etc. Nothing worked (including grounding, sending him to his room, taking away electronics and privileges) and I was at my wits end.
And then there was hot sauce. Just a little bit on the end of a spoon and into the mouth it goes!
Not saying he doesn't try to talk back every once in a while, but all I have to do is pull out the bottle and a spoon and remind him he's not too old...
I dont see anything wrong
I dont see anything wrong with that. I used to have my great grandmother wash my mouth out with a bar of soap.
He is grounded for a series
He is grounded for a series of events. He was failing his classes so he had his cell phone taken away. That was the initial event. First chance he got he went thru dh's things, got the cellphone, and texted his girlyfriend. So the consequence for that was no facebook. Ok, next thing he did was hack someone else's acct on facebook and send messages to girlyfriend. Dh thought he was just surfing the net (we had changed the password on his own facebook acct so he couldnt get in it). Then he is sneaking around the house at midnight using the home phone to call girlfriend-whom perhaps I havent mentioned but he is banned from talking to period at this point due to her being an unsuitable individual. Then, the final was that he got dd10 to let him use her phone to text gf. A new violation happened every single day and the consequences just kept getting bigger.
He has not been "grounded" at all for the backtalk. Essentially it is ignored or dh verbally gets onto him for it.
I've thought about the
I've thought about the sentences idea-we have had him write an "essay" before regarding his behaviors-but unfortunately it is so much bullshit that it is sickening to read. So maybe the sentences, but here was my thought. He talks back sooo much I could easily see him racking up 10,000 sentences or some other outrageous number that there is no way he'd ever finish. In some ways, I dont care-he could just stay grounded-but reality wise I know it is not good for him to be punished 24/7 as they just stop trying (well, he hasnt started trying yet)but i'd like to offer the kid some rewards, kwim? He just hasnt done anything reward worthy.
I dont know if i could do the hot sauce-well I know I wouldnt do it-dh would have to administer that-I guess I could ask him how he feels about it.
Not really-he likes to stand
Not really-he likes to stand up and eat!
Do you guys have the money to
Do you guys have the money to seriously threaten him with military school or something along those lines? Does he act out in school too? Can you get the school on board with you to file some type of Person in Need of Supervision (not sure about your state) so that he is accountable to someone else besides you guys? I think this kid needs a court scare or something along those lines before he'll ever shape up.
Hes only been living with us
Hes only been living with us for a week. Yes, historically he has acted out in school and failed classes. He has had a police scare-he was growing weed in bm's front yard this summer-but he had zero consequences. They did evdiently say that he had to attend some substance abuse edcuation class, but he then moved to mil's and bm never gave us any info so I am quite sure he didnt do it. His bm also called the cops on him several times for being aggressive with her and his little brother-I gather he thought it was funny when the cop came out to talk to him.
I am not willing to spend our life's savings on a military school. Which it would rapidly deplete that and then we just couldnt pay any longer.
Not sure how old ss is? I
Not sure how old ss is? I haven't read your other blogs. To bad you could send him to one of those military boot camps I use to see on TV. The ones that scare the pants off kids. LOL. You've done everything I can think of at this point. My ss likes to talk back also, because he thinks he's right about everything and hes only 7. We are trying to stop it by makeing him stand in the corner. We start at 5 mintues and go up from there if he talks while in the corner. It works. But if your ss is in his teens, I'm not sure. I have a feeling I will be asking the same question one of these days.