My dh is usally the one to facilitate all sporting activities with ss8. this season he decided not to sign him up for bball b/c of some school/behavioral issues and the lack of help he gets with facilitation from bm. Well bm signed up ss8 for bball. The thing is that every Friday night, she has ss8 call his dad (when it's not our w/e) and ask him to take him to the bball games. Well, this wouldn't be a problem if she had discussed transportation with us before she signed him up. I spoke up on this to dh this morning and to keep it from appearing that I have an attitude about him doing things for his (when I've been accused of more than once) I explained to him that even parents in the same house discuss transportation issues for the kids before they make any independent decision about something for the kids. I told him that she is using the "single mother" thing as a reason to be inconsiderate toward him and irresponsible. I told him that he needs to say something to her about this. His response is that if he has the time to take ss to the games then it's not a problem, but if work or something else pertinent interferes with dh being able to attend games then he will let ss and bm know to find another mode of transportation. ( Even though I think dh is removing himself from schedule at work in anticipation of games...but I cannot prove this) He "hates" talking to bm so he avoids doing it and that is why he says he hasn't said anything to her regarding her lack of preparation for the games. (Claims she will get a nasty attitude with him) He is also afraid that if he says no to her even if he CAN take him, it will end up in his son not being able to play in a game. I think that he needs to put his foot down and tell her "no" regardless of ss missing a game or not. (Although if I say this, it will just be turned around on me as if I don't care about dh "being there" for his son) I just don't like feeling like she (and my ss) are manipulating my husband. When dh signs ss up for sports, he facilitates everything. (Practice and games) I just think that she should have asked him IF he would have been able to help with this before signing him up. Then it wouldn't seem so manipulative. Oh yeah...a couple of weeks ago, ss told me that "he should be at our house EVERY w/e since he's only with us everyday during the summer. (we have him eow during school year) I asked him who said that to him and he got quiet. (I assume he overheard bm or another family member of hers say this) So, to me, it seems like she's trying to manipulate the custody schedule w/o involving the courts. (She knows that more than likely dh won't say no to sports with his son) She knows that a change in custody=change in child support. She thinks she's slick and my dh falls for it and it pisses me off.