You are here

New to this and need help!!

chey11's picture

Submitted by chey11 on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:00pm

Ok everyone,
I'm a new "step parent" if you will. I find myself having a very hard time dealing with my hubbys children, and the dreaded ex. I cant believe the stuff she says! Sometimes i wonder if she wouldnt be better to be locked in a psychiatric hospitol. anyway I feel like I'm always last in any situation, whether it be the children or the ex. I have no children of my own and to make things even more stressfull and tense my hubby and I just went through two consecutive misscaraiges. I just feel myself slipping away!I resent the kids sometimes and just have no idea why. Do all step parents go through a stage similar or is it me?? Help please!!! ANY advice is more then welcome.

thanks all.

Comments

dreadingit's picture

Submitted by dreadingit on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:15pm

I hear you, Chey. Don't worry, you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I feel resentful of the skids, the bm, sometimes even my own husband. I resent the little family and the unbreakable ties that he has with them, and the fact that my son and I will always be the outsiders. Then I get angry at myself for feeling this way, because I know they're his children, and part of what I love about him is that he's a terrific father. I just wish he was my son's father and that we only had children with each other, that he hadn't had any with that wench. Anyway, you're in the right place here. We're all in the same boat and here for you. Also, so so sorry for your losses....I cannot imagine your pain.

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:15pm

welcome. find a shrink and antidepressants. you are now apart of our club.

sorry I am a bitchy and broken today.

chey11's picture

Submitted by chey11 on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:25pm

Thanks ladies! I thought i knew what I was getting myself into.. but as everyones true colors come out I think I really under estimated this situation. And Ommy, I have considered a shrink...I would glady pay a stranger to listen to bitch for an hour. lol. Thanks again. I'm releaved to know I'm not alone!

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:30pm

they help, trust me. I have been seeing my shrink for two years now. make sure to find one that fits you.

Vichychoisse's picture

Submitted by Vichychoisse on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 3:56pm

Welcome chey!

If you were alone in your feelings, this site wouldn't exist. If it's any comfort at all, what you describe is common, and I feel comfortable saying that none of us "knew what we were getting into". If we had, again, this site wouldn't exist. Smile

As far as advice - first, don't be ashamed of how you feel. Second, not sure of your specifics, but talking to hubby is usually the first step in trying to resolve what is going on in your life to make you feel this way. As Ommy suggests too, outside help is often a necessity. In general, make sure you do what you can to help yourself - which may of course include coming here to vent, seek validation, and get some helpful advice from all the fine step warriors here who have been coping for years.