I would designate 1 HOME phone for her calls and block her from being able to call any other. I would follow the CO to a science. Come hell or high water she needs to remember the ORDER is and ORDER of the court. The phone designated for her calls would be monitored (recording device) and and all communication will be kept and documented by the police department.

Now, I have been told that constant harassment and threats are considered aggravating menacing which can become a first degree felony.

Go about your life and follow the C.O. left her ac the fool and file unnecessary charges.... It is not that difficult to reduce the "Parenting" time...

Document everything this bitch does...

Tape any conversations that are with her and DH...

Yeah the courts say they are neutrual....that is a crap of shit.

We have been taping our nasty BM for 4 years...

For what my husband says..who knows may have to use it oneday..

There is only one effective solution for dealing with the toxic dipshits that your BM is obviously one of.

Roll up the CO and smack her about the head and shoulders with it any time she so much as thinks about violating it. Copy the CO, obtain copies of any supplemental rules that are in effect in the jurisdiction where your CO is issued, get the state rules nd laws regarding Custody/Visitation/Support and study them. Learn these things because you can bet BM has barely read the CO much less has any awareness of the other tools available for managing the toxic blended family oppostion.

You control her by doing what she has done to control you. She does not want to deal with court or with the situation on any official basis. If that is what she fears then you keep the authorities on her ass 24/7.

Develop relationships with the PD/Sheriff in you area. Have copies of the CO et al with you for pick up and drop offs in the event taht you have to call the PD for help. Being able to show the officer the CO will give them the tools and authority to put their proverbial foot up BM's ass. My wife and I each have complete copies of of the CO, supplemental local rules and state laws at our desks at our offices. We also have a complete copy in our office at home and electronic copies on our personal and work computers. When the SpermIdiot or SpermGrandMa would start any shit she would conference me in and we would IM while she was speaking with them. Both of us with our hard copies spread out and our electronic copies open so we could quickly search for a counter to any crap THEY pulled.

While my wife deals with our son's SpermIdiot/SpermClan I am feeding her chapter and verse from the files so she can immediately quote them the facts and inform them of how we will hold them accountable for following the rules if they so much a twitch outside of the CO.

It did not take too long before THEY would go from demanding manipulative assholes to whining babies "all you do is threaten us with court of the police off of that damned CO! whaa, whaaaaa whaaaaaaaa!"

In addition to learning, knowing, using and loving the CO et al I would recommend that you keep a comprehensive journal of any conversation, written communication or second or third party information on BM. If the Skids recount some toxic crap or idiot behavior that occurs in BM's home you journal it. If it is legal to do so in your state record every telephone call you have with her. Save every voice mail, e-mail, etc.... that demonstrates BMs toxic crap.

Of course this means that no matter what you keep your cool and a professional demeaner.

We did all of this for most of our 17+ year interface with the SpermClan. When they would threaten us with court we happily told them "just give us the date and we will be happy to once again kick your asses in front of the judge". When they deviated we would play to them conversations or v-mails where they ranted, cussed, called the judge an idiot, and bitched incessently about the CO and told them we were going to file for ammendment of CS or a contempt of court charge, etc.....

We did not live in SpermLand though that is where the CO was resident. Because SS had lived in our location all but his first year of life we would threaten to transfer jurisdiction to Williamson County Texas where DipShits CW would triple. We never did because his visitation woudl have likely doubled and we would not risk exposing our son to their toxic crap for more than what the SpermLand courts ordered be we damned sure used the financial leveral of a 3x increase in CS to smack them when they gave us no other choice.

Funny how when they heard recordings of themselves being their usual dipshit moron selves or got a copy of the TX child support guidelines in the mail under official leterhead they STFU and crawled back under their rock.

Basically what I am recommending is that you and DH stop being victims and become confidently assertive. Be nice, until she forces you to not be nice then you absolutely destroy her legally, financially, socially, with her family and if necessary even with the Skids.

Use facts. The facts of her behavior, the legal facts and tools availble. Facts are not good or bad they are just facts and the person with the best knowledge of the facts and tools will invariably control the blended family opposition.

In order to be able to control her you have to do your homework. Know the CO backwards and forwards.

Combined with total preparation and readiness it is your happy marriage and happy family that the toxic opposition fears the most. When exposed to the light of your preparation and happy marriage/life the opposition acts much like a cockroach that scurries to a dark corner when a light is turned on in a previously dark room. BM will retreat to her corner and leave you and your family alone. She may even learn how to be a decent person and deal with you and your husband in a positive and mature manner.

Don't count on her acting decently but it is a possiblility. My Skids SpermClan taught us how to deal with and treat them. When we would be generous they would get toxic and push for more and more and more until we finally just dictated to them what they would do rather than discussing. They taught us to never allow them to deviate from the CO.

You should never allow her to have an early pick up of the kids to start visitation. If she arrives early, make her wait in her car off of your property. If she is one minute late have the police start hunting her down. If she is one penny short on CW or one day late with CS file a complaint with the CSE office, if there is a medical bill for the SKids that she is liable for a portion of you pay only your portion and give the practice her contact information so they can collect the half she is responsible for from her.

When I recommended creating relationships with your local law enforcement it was so you could use their help in enforcing the CO on BM. When the SpermClan failed to return our son on time we on more than one occasion had my wifes BFF's father (the local police chief) send officers in to SpermGrandMa's church during services to pick up the kid. We have done the same when the SpermClan is at a restaurant. SpermGrandMa would play the "we missed the flight and the first flight we can get him out on is in three days" crap and we shredded her ass publically when she did. Invariably we could always find a flight leaving within a few hours of the "missed" flight and we made damned sure our son was on it.

You are absolutely right. No one should have to be harrassed. So don't tolerate it. Kick her ass (figuratively of course). The only way to deal with her harrassing bullshit is to make sure it is far more painful for her than it is for you.

Most importantly learn to enjoy barring BM's idiot ass every opportunity she gives you. No guilt, no second thoughts, no quarter. Stay focused on the best interests of the SKids and of your family and act accordingly. Never let her see you sweat, be confident and be happy in your marriage and your family. I learned to make barring SpermClan ass a sport and I am gold medalist in that sport. And I LIKE IT! }:) }:)

Sorry to highjack your post. This topic just chaps my ass and I get way reved up about it.

All IMHO and personal blended family experience of course.

Good Luck.

I have a similar situation with my SS's BM. We don't have a CO in place giving do not call/text times, however now it will be something I am looking in to. My boyfriend is pretty good about not responding to her when the two of us are having our alone time or even when we're out for the day with my SS. They do have a custody arrangement but she feels that when it is convenient for her that we need to make changes to it. There is something new each and every week, she hurt her back, or her leg, or she's sick I swear I am waiting for her to ask my boyfriend to take SS because she has a pimple and it hurts!!!!

It's a constant thing with her, she's never satisfied even when she's satisfied and even if you are 100% right you are completely wrong and the conversations are just useless. My boyfriend did bring it up in the court house about her constant calling and nagging and we were told that was not ok and no contact needs to be made unless it is in regards to the child's normal scheduled visits or if there is something wrong.

My boyfriend gets a night a week and every other weekend, but it's funny that last weekend he had him tues, wed, thurs, fri, sat, sun. She then text this week asking to switch yet again! I am loosing my mind :jawdrop:

I saw nip it quickly! Take it back to court or at least threaten it. She's complaining she doesn't have the money so maybe if you go to the court house and pick up the papers to begin the change she will back off. If she back off for a little while but brings it back again then I say just go for it. Who cares, you aren't going to lose anything and like you said the judge is already fed up so you are already ahead of the game

The best defense is a good offense. I agree with Rags, stick the CO in their face and mean it!! Don't ever back down or give an inch. Believe me you'll regret it.
Our CO was originally in Georgia. BM moved the kids to TX without DH knowing where they were for two years. Now we order plane tickets and everything else around the CO. She said SS14 had a tooth ache at Christmas and couldn't possibly travel. I said well tell it to the Sheriff and the kids had a wonderful flight. Once the individual municipalities get involved with Psycho's they will usually assist to keep the crap down. BM likes to throw a rock and hide her hands, but if you keep cool she won't anyone to play with.

I definitely wish that my DH would have married a woman with a lot of money to throw at this situation. Now that we are in a better financial position, the skids are too old to fight for it. But yeah, we have a CO. PB violates it like she breathes oxygen.

We documented and saved up over FORTY violations of the court order - mostly to do with visitation. We went to court and she got a Contempt of Court order against her with a fine of $500. Our lawyer bill was close to $1000. My DH got so depressed after that that when PB started violating the CO AGAIN, less than 4 months later, he didn't have any ambition to go through the whole court fiasco again....must less the finances to do so, if he had the desire.

PB's family has money so it was no biggie to her to go to court all the time. AND she was able to make it look like she never had any money (no job) so she would get legal assistance while we would be stuck paying lawyer fees that COULD have went towards things for the skids!