Vacation Question

Have any of your BMs tried to 'join' your family vacation?

A little background:

We are planning a family vacation to Disney for spring break 2012. BM decide to come down three days during the week and hang out with the boys (SS 14 and SS 11). BUT she still wants us to cover 100% of the airfare, their park tickets, their hotel room and their meals while she is hanging out with them. Since I signed up for and paid for a package, she thinks it free. BTW-she is not coming alone. Her current husband and his two kids are coming with her.

Oh, and she has told the boys that she is coming down and will take them to the parks for three days.

How would you guys handle this situation?

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This is DH's Spring Break.

Thanks. I have been working

Thanks. I have been working with an itinerary planner for months working out the details for our trip. So, we are actually have some type of activity planner every single day. Plus, all of our ADRs.

We almost had this happen

We almost had this happen once... one of our traditions on our summer family vacation is to spend a day or two at a huge amusement park. BM and her DH said they were thinking about "showing up" for those 2 days to hang with the skids at the park. Oh Hell No, and that's exactly what I said to my DH. If they all (meaning my DH, skids, BM and her DH) all wanted to play big happy family by all means do so. But myself and my children would do our own thing because quite honestly, the three of us (my kids and I) would be frozen out cold by her presence, she'd make sure of it.

I do not engage BM, avoid encounters with her, and try to live my life as though she doesn't exist only because she tends to try to stir things up.

There is no way that should happen (unless, of course, everyone is on BFF terms with each other I guess). That's some serious boundary issues there.

BM, her DH, and his kids

BM, her DH, and his kids don't want to hang out with us at the parks (thank God!). They want to pick the boys up from our room and take them out for the day... But still, that means I am footing the bill so she can have a Disney vacation with them. I don't think so.

I told DH that I would cancel

I told DH that I would cancel the trip before I would share it with her. Of course, he was pissed at me for saying that because the boys would miss out. I just don't know what to do at this point.

I think if push comes to shove, we will go and she can get the boys, but I will not send their cards with them (the cards are for their meals and park tickets). Then I lose out of the money that I actually paid for their tickets and meals.

We never TOLD PB (BM) any of

We never TOLD PB (BM) any of OUR vacation plans.

Maybe you can add the

Maybe you can add the nonexpiring option to the boys tickets. That way you can use the tickets on another trip.

You can use the meal credits for a nice romantic meal for you and husband at a signature dining restaurant.

Are the boys out of school for President's week? If so, can you switch the trip to that week?

Since we are celebrating a

Since we are celebrating a lot of milestones this trip, I am going all out....GF, Platinum Plan, the works. So the meal credits will not help me out in any way. Our kids only get one day off for President's day. I really want to go spring break because the summers in FL are just too dang hot.

I am glad there is another disney fan on this site!

Wow The GF and the Platinum

Wow The GF and the Platinum Plan. That's my dream vacation.

Have a magical trip.

It's our dream vacation as

It's our dream vacation as well. That's why I am fighting so hard to protect it!

Your BM has brass balls. I'd

Your BM has brass balls. I'd tell her in no uncertain terms she wasn't welcome. Plain and simple it's Dh visitation week and she is "INTERFERING" with his visitation.

Go suck an egg bitch (BM).

Don't tell her what resort

Don't tell her what resort your staying in. Don't share your touring plans with her. Do not include her in any of your ADRs.

Have a no cell phone rule. That way she can't call/text the boys to find out where you are.

DH has to share some plans

DH has to share some plans with BM esp when he takes the boys out of state. When he told her that we were traveling to FL, she knew where we were going. I think the boys have told her everything they know as she coducts a debriefing session as soon as they get home. I am pretty sure she knows the resort in which we will be staying because she has commented that she can't afford to stay there and will have to stay in a mod. I actually think she was trying to get DH to cover some of her room...so she can have a vacation with her boys. :sick:

I like the no cell phone rule, Disneyfan! And don't worry, she will not be included in any of our ADRs.

And if I may add... BM

And if I may add... BM "wants" you to cover 100% of their trip? Um, NO. How can she expect that? Just don't do it.

My DH is really pissed

My DH is really pissed because I won't give an inch on this.

I told him that if she wants to have them for three days, she needs to cover 40% of their total vacation. When he told her this, I could hear her screaming over his cell from across the room. }:)

She hung up on him. I am

She hung up on him. I am sure she will have the boys talk to him about it this weekend. :sick:

I really don't care what they say or she says, I am not going to give on this one.

Find out if the boys know her

Find out if the boys know her touring plans. That way you will have time to tweak your plans so you're not in the same parks on the same day.

I love it. I am going to

I love it. I am going to call my planner and see what all I can change. I am not going to tell anyone about these changes...just in case the HAG shows up. Excellent, Disneyfan! As you know, a lot of places are hard to get into without ADRs. }:)

During our last spring break

During our last spring break trip, CMs were turning away walk ups at 4 of the restaurants as we checked in (Tappan Edo for lunch, Rose and Crown for dinner, and Chef Mickey's dinner and 'Ohana dinner).

If she isn't a planner, chance are she'll be locked out of everything.

8 more months and I get to walk down Main Street again.

Oh joy! I just found out

Oh joy! I just found out that she can't even get into out building (Sugarloaf)! Apparently, that building is control and guest of that building have to use their room key to enter the building. So, I don't have to worry about her knocking on our door.

It sounds simply to me...but

It sounds simply to me...but not to her. She told him a few minutes ago that he did not have her permission to take them out of state. Damn it!

(paraphrased version)The

(paraphrased version)The agreement says that both parents must obtain approval from the other parent before taking the kids out of state...

Not just no but

Not just no but %#&@**((@^&~!(* NO! :jawdrop:

I would tell BM that she will NOT be spending any time with your family during YOUR Disney trip. If DH does not back you on this then kick his ass out!!!!

This kind of crap just pisses me off and what pisses me off even more is when someone just rolls over and takes this crap from an X.

Block her telephone number during your trip. Confiscate the Skid's cell phones if they have them.

Tell BM that if she wants to take the Skids to Disney that she can do it on her dime and on her time.

No F-in way in hell would I tolerate this crap even a little bit.

And as far as the CO indicating both parents need to agree before either takes the kid's out of state. Go and enjoy your family trip. You won't be gone long enough for BM to do much about it.

Thanks, Rags. I talked to DH

Thanks, Rags. I talked to DH last night about our trip, and we both agree to just go. She did agree in writing several months ago, and based on her agreement, I moved forward and bought airline tickets and made all the ressies at Disney. DH and I already decided to make this trip a cell-phone-free trip for the kids. He and I will have our phones for emergencies and such...mainly just so she can't say that we kept her from talking to her kids.

If she agreed in writing and

If she agreed in writing and recinded that agreement in a phone call. I would say that the court would look upon what she WROTE (which you have proof of) versus what she SAID (which probably nobody has "proof" of).

Also, is she one of those types of BMs that would do all that and say everything and get the skids all worked up but then never actually DO it? If so, you might be going through a bunch of drama for nothing.

There is still time before

There is still time before Spring Break to get a judge to sign off on the trip. File a motion, tell the judge BM agreed (I hope you have it in email), then revoked her agreement when DH agreed to share his vacation time with her as long as she shared the expense.

Ok. Im not privy enough to

Ok. Im not privy enough to know planning details of Disney trips, so let me ask.
There is 5 of you right? 2 adults, 3 kids.
That means you need 5 age appropriate tickets right?
Bm would have to fly herself (and her dh) down there, and stay at a hotel right?

But they would use your tickets for the park right?

She wants for my DH to fund

She wants for my DH to fund the trip for the boys with her taking them for three of the seven days. She said that she can't afford for her, her DH, and his two kids to come down without using the tickets and meals that I have already purchased for the boys. She only wants to use the tickets and meals we purchased for the boys. BUT if she has their key cards, she can use as many as five meals each for breakfast, lunch, and dinner since the boys are traveling with a party of six (me, DH, 2 SSs, DD, and DD-BFF)...

She doesn't have to take them

She doesn't have to take them to a park if your husbands agrees to let them spend time with her. They can spend the day hanging out by the pool or spend some time at DTD. They can eat CS meals while they are with her. If she can't afford to feed her kids while they are on vacation, then she needs to keep her butt home.

I'm sorry, but are you

:jawdrop: I'm sorry, but are you fucking serious right now? Why are any of us even making the slightest damn suggestion for how this madness could work??!! DO NOT budge!!!! HOLD YOUR GROUND!!!! I will seriously throw up if you allow this nonsense!!!! BM on vaca, my damn vaca, my dream vaca for MY FAMILY, seeing her rotting face, fat ass, on my perfect getaway??? NO WAY IN HELL!!!!! You're DH even acting like this is a possibility just goes to show he is a "man" with zero balls!!! My DH would never ever ever, I would castrate him so fast... What the Hell is wrong with your DH??!! And BM OMG really!!! How dare she invite herself on your dream vacation!!! THE NERVE!!! I would have set her straight the second that idea even formed in her molecule of a brain!! I would have not only told her off, ripped her a new A-hole, but I probably would have just laughed and laughed and laughed and told her how incredibly ignorant she must be to have even thought for a split second that ANY of that bs was going down on MY FAMILY VACA!! Then I would have told her that if she doesn't allow the boys to go then I will be sure to tell them why they are not going, took her arrogant ass to court and if I couldn't get the boys then I would inform BM that you, your DH and your DD are going without the kids, the boys can thank BM but you will not allow her to ruin your time!!! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY!!!! If DH wont, then you do it.

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