Hypocrisy?
I was just thinking of something funny I heard a while back. SD's BM has been married for about 6/7 years and has 2 other kids with her hubby. They have SD most of the time and we get her EOW. She's usually behaved at our place, but sometimes she gives her mom a hard time. We try to all parent together so when things get bad there, they involve us and we come spend time all talking together with her to let her know her behaviour is not ok and we will continue her punishments at our place for things she does at home.
Well, the last time, it was mostly her step-dad who was at his wit's end. He was white and shaking talking about the way she disrespects him on a daily basis. Doesn't listen to him, won't do what he tells her, deliberately does things she knows will piss him off (for example, he teaches his kids to always turn the light off when leaving a room. She will go back in and turn it on and leave it just so he will get mad, or if he reminds her not to leave her stuff on the stairs, she will bring more stuff instead of picking it up). She is the oldest kid in the family so what she does is an example for the other two, and they start to copy her bad behaviour, throwing the whole household dynamic out of whack.
So anyways, we're sitting there listening to her Stepdad go on and on about all the bad things she does, he then says it's mostly her mom's fault because she can be unreasonable and when she doesn't take her medication, she is off the charts. He says SD copies her mom, who sets a bad example. Then he drops the biggest bomb ever. He says he has another child from before but his wife won't let him have anything to do with that child and won't even let him speak the child's name in their home. And yet, she expects him to parent her first child from another relationship? When he said that, my mouth actually dropped open. I think my exact words to FH were "I didn't know we could do that...can I do that? Hahaha!" But seriously, holy crap!! What a total hypocrite BM is!! And what is wrong with her husband? Who actually listens to their crazy wife when they say they can never see, speak to, or even speak of their child? Dude, grow a pair!! BM looked super embarrassed when he said that. Probably because of the shocked/disgusted look on my face. Wow. I swear my head almost exploded!
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Wow that is quite a story. I
Wow that is quite a story. I was stunned reading it. I'll be waiting for the next chapter eagerly:)
My DHs first wife didn't
My DHs first wife didn't allow him contact with his kids. They didn't have any together, thank God. She was insane.
I'm kinda irritated that I didn't have that power. Like, she was important enough to him that he abandoned his kid, but I gotta live with her plus 2 more that arent his? I mean, its not all that bad, and I get major points with him and his parents but it just makes me feel less important
Yeah, I totally don't
Yeah, I totally don't understand the power that BM has in her relationship. Actually, FH and I were thinking about her past the other night and pretty much decided that because of her life spent bouncing around foster homes, etc. she has learned how to be a master manipulator just to survive but now it's become her whole personality.
She got pregnant with SD within 3 weeks of knowing FH and they moved in together right away. FH had low self-esteem due to being over 300lbs all through high school, so when he finally got healthy, she was the first girl to pay attention to him so basically he did whatever she said. And she said pay for everything, buy me expensive jewelry and raise this kid that I may have purposefully gotten pregnant with in order to get the other stuff...
After he got away from her, she met some other guy at a bar about 2 weeks or so after her relationship with FH ended and moved in with him about a week or so after that. She stayed there until the money was gone and she put him into debt (like she did with FH) and then the day that guy was moving out, she showed up at FH's door and tried to kiss him. He put the door between them to stop her, then sent her away, so then she went back to the guy she dated before FH and moved in with him THAT SAME DAY...and when she finally left that one because he ran out of money, she met her now husband, went on one date with him, moved in with him a week later, was pregnant in 3 weeks (again) and married within 3 months. Now she controls him to the point that he can have no contact or speak of his previous child? Oh, and he works like 3 jobs just to keep her in Chanel earrings...
I don't get it. She is unintelligent, definitely uneducated, only average in looks, has severe bipolar disorder that makes her psychotic when she's off her meds, and doesn't have much money of her own (she's a hairdresser in a supercuts type of place). She essentially brings nothing to the table. What are these guys seeing in her that they will let her move in, take care of her, and spend all of their money at the drop of a hat? Any guy I've ever met would have run away if I asked to move in within a week! How did she do it? And with a kid on top of that! How did her ex take her back after she comes crawling back to him with someone else's kid?
I have a friggin Master's degree, I like to think I'm more attractive than her, I have a decent-paying job as a teacher, no mental disorders, and yet it seems that I'm the one who is always giving in my relationships, not having guys go to those extents for me. I feel like even if I tried to make demands like her that I would be told where to go because they are so unreasonable, but maybe it's just because I respected my BFs enough to never ask. Or maybe I have only dated men who had self-respect.
For instance, FH learned a lot from his relationship with BM so he doesn't just hand out his cash anymore, and is more assertive as a person and doesn't just do whatever he is told. This makes me respect him as a person, but I can't help but think that it's a little unfair that he bent over backwards for BM at his own detriment but won't do the same for me. I know it's a good thing, because he has the confidence and brains to be more in control of himself, but why does she get away with such unreasonable extremes and I've barely even be able to make so much as a sarcastic comment without being called out on it.
I mean, it's not that I want to ruin a man or anything, but it would be nice to feel important enough that a guy would make those sacrifices for me. Seriously, I don't get it!
Karma is a bitch. He tossed
Karma is a bitch. He tossed his kid to the side and now his SD is giving him hell.
I don't think it had anything
I don't think it had anything to do with you. People hopefully learn from their mistakes. Sounds like your dh learned what he DOESNT want in a relationship and that is why he is with you. You are the antithesis of his first relationship