No more libido...LOL
Since my last post things have not gotten any better. My parade just keeps getting rained on.
Small Update: I am staying at my parents house until they apartment is done with renovations (SO CLOSE!) - the power has been shut off at DH's parents house where he resides until our place is done. We have nowhere to keep the kids over night yet (I am not bringing them to my parents...my bedroom is my office and school work area...I dont need them in here...)
Incidents with SD9:
Last weekend: Fever of 102 - BM carries her out of the house wrapped in a blanket like she is a baby - kid did not eat or drink ALL day because she was taking care of her baby brother...their grandmother (who is supposed to be a reliable caretaker did not feed them all day) she played hard outside i.e. trampolie, running around in hot weather...) suddenly gets a fever. Whatever. She SCREAMS and BAWLS the whole time - (we had no idea she was sick when we were picking her up until we got there) she refused to eat or drink (or TRY for gods sake - she was NOT puking and then of course she was fine in the car and as soon as she saw CRAZY FMIL who favors her she starts MOANING and SCREAMING) everytime we rotated her chidrens tylenol/Ibprophen she would act like she was going to puke so she didn't have to take it...her fever breaks at night...she wakes up fine...no fever. and starts her "ddaaaaaddddddyyyyy" whine every 5 minutes and wanted her feet rubbed? of course - he said no. lay there...nap...drink and eat - rest.
This weekend: Attitude the whole time. Went to get pumpkins- she STOMPS and crosses her arms because she doesn't get this pumpkin as tall as her. She wanted to play school so she moved her easel (one side dry erase one side chalk board) diagonally in the corner of the room I guess to pretend the room was a classroom...(We were only at the housewith no power because DH made it very clear HIS kids would see THEIR grandparents) well - SD6 was sitting on the dry erase side...no harm. just drawing) SD9 starts SCREAMING that the easel needed moved back more allowing NO room for SD6 to sit on backside and draw...when I explain there is no crisis here - and she has the WHOLE room to pretend is a classroom and her sis is not effectinganything she is doing she squeezes her eyes together...opens her mouth wide...and lets out this WAIL! WTF! And because DH is standing RIGHT beside me...and I thought he was going to do something...I didn't take care of it...what does he do??? NOTHING? yells to knock it off?? are you kidding? We went to my parents to do our annual pumpkin carving with my niece and nephew...she has a FIT at the table and crosses her arms because the picture she drew on her pumpkin :looks stupid: I then YELL because I am so tired of this kid ruining every weekend - "DH Get IN HERE AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR DEMONCHILD!!!" My grandmother chuckles because she finally got to see what I deal with every weeknd...
Incidents with SD6: All of a sudden she has forgotten how to speak english and is now speaking baby. "dada" "mama" and WHINING every time you ask her to do something!
they both ruined my weekend again..3rd time in a row...and both ended up in timeout by the end of the weekend.
#1 Now DH is also on my shitlist...we have pretty much a nonexistent sex life now. The thing is - everything bothers me so much...and he can make all the moves he wants but all I do is picture SD9's horrible mouth wide open screaming face and HEAR sd6's whining! And then I think about all of the GROSS comments his dad makes (anytime he walks through the room if we are watching a movie he walks throught the room during a movie sex scene...go figure and he says, "Unbelieveable - are you getting lessons? Are you learning?" GROSS! AND SO INNAPROPRIATE! So - DH makes a move and I turn him down...and fall asleep. The next day he asks if somethig is wrong...I say - Everything bothers me - I have like NO desire right now...and he says, "That's your choice." Like I have a choice NOT to feel or something? Like I can just block it out?
#2 I tell him there has to be something done about the girls behavior... can't take it anymore. He has the nerve...after me doing this for 4 years...planning bdays...holidays...everything I've done...to say..."You know what? I think it's funny that someone who doesn't have children thinks they can give me tips on how to raise mine..." Ohhh noooooooo! That blew a gasket! HE'S GOING TO CARE A WHOLE LOT NOW THAT HE HAS TO DO THINGS BY HIMSELF.
I just sent him this text:
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I did!!! yyaaayyyy ME! I
I did!!! yyaaayyyy ME! I moved out two weeks ago! I feel SO free! I took my nanny pants off! It's terrific! I still see the girls on the weekend for a few hours...BUT because I have disengaged so much the last two weekends - they were angels this weekend! They can't wait to get into the apartment! His parents - I don't care if I ever see them! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I told him we can live together again when we are in our own place...I came back to my parents farm (which they are loving because it's like they have a live-in maid) they both work 70 hours a week and I have OCD so they come home to a clean house...and on the nights I don't work...dinner in the oven! LOL! I LOVE IT! And I am hoping not having him by my side everyday helps us remember and appreciate things about eachother we haven't for a long time. I can't wait to start over in our own place...but for right now - I will gladly stay in my old room with my own dog! lol!