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Newlywed Blues

allinall's picture

My husband and I got married last week out of the country and did not take my SS 8 to the wedding. (It was DH's idea to get married out of the country and not pull his son out of school for the trip) While he did not go into great detail about it, BM was highly upset that SS was not included in the ceremony. In fact, while I know an argument probably occurred between them, DH refuses to talk to me about it. He simply gets agitated and changes the subject whenever I bring it up. Agggghhhh!!!!!

Anyway, I'm at home today and my DH walks in with SS and BM's other son. (SS's older brother from another one of her relationships) While I know that my DH had a relationship with this child and even during our own relationship would include him in outings with himself and his son, he has never brought him to our home. He didn't stay long as they were on their way to SS's football practice. I kinda feel like DH has been made to feel guilty about our wedding and is now trying to compensate for it by spending time with SS's brother. Maybe this will make his son and BM believe that he was not trying to "diss" them. Honestly, I really don't know what is behind this, but I not all too approving of it. The child isn't disrespectful or anything, but I kind of feel like this is too much. This BM has been nasty to me from day one and now her son is visiting my home. I also feel uncomfortable with my husband wanting to "bond" with or spend time with this child. Kind of feels like he's trying to keep an extra tie to the BM. If I approach him about it, he's just going to say he is doing it for his son. What do you guys think? Is my husband seeking "approval" from this BM or trying to make her feel better about our wedding/marriage?

Comments

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Did he tell BM that it was him that chose to disclude SS from the wedding?? I'm assuming bc u had your honeymoon there and did not want SS there to spend it with you... You two def need to talk about all of these things whether he likes it or not. Marriage will only work if you have communication. Express how important it is if u r to be happy together.

sonja's picture

I agree with msblessed. If you guys are married now and hes already having conversations with BM that you dont hear about afterwards- redflag!

I dont understand why BMs or DHs think that THEIR children need to be included in the weddings between them and new spouses.. My FDH thinks the same, and hes even said thatd be messed up if BM got married and SD wasnt there.. UH hello!? The wedding is not for yours and hers child!

If this other child had been around and involved on a regular basis then no harsh feelings there.. but all of sudden now that BM is mad? Uh oh.. Id sit down for a 1on1 convo right away.