so i just joined and wanted to vent a little
SO my daughter well step daughter is 7. I have been in her life since she was 4. I have met the father and he wasnt very good to them. now I have decided to adopt her, she has always called me daddy and shes always been my little girl. So the father signed over his rights and we are waiting for the court date. and now all of a suddon after all the pain he put them both through he wants to see her again. Need i say he never paid child support, called her on her birthday, got her any presents for xmas or birthday. hasnt seen her for years. and now hes what? doesnt want to lose her? He doesnt care about ether of them and even posted it on facebook. so now we have to stall till the adoption process is over because we dont want her other with him mainly for her safety but my wifes family thinks we should let her go... im to scared he will hurt her or run off with her.
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You should consult a lawyer
You should consult a lawyer to see if he has any legal rights to see her. He certainly doesn't deserve to, and if he doesn't have legal rights, I would say don't let him. At the very least, make sure it's a supervised visit. Is there any reason to believe he would hurt her?
well we havent consulted a
well we havent consulted a lawyer for this matter but we have for the adoption. he says if he does want to see her stall and wait it out. the guy is bipolar and can get very upset very quickly. So the lawyer said " in a friends POV " dont let her go because of his issues. But since he signed his rights over already I dont know if he has them but ill have to check that out. another thing that has bothered me a lot is that he has gotten caught to have pictures of young kids (girls) on his computer. Not nude but like with not a lot of clothes on.
Don't let her go. He signed
Don't let her go. He signed away his rights. He has NONE. He can't get them back. Tell him to leave you all alone and go away.
Completely agree! No matter
Completely agree! No matter what his mental health issues, if he signed away his rights already do NOT return any communication. You're the dad at this point, period. If he says he just wants to "see" her that is a red flag for ~pull something scary. Nope, he can 'maybe' see her down the road when she deems it necessary or wants it. Not now.
Thank you for all your input.
anymore input is greatly appreciated.
Having signed over his
Having signed over his rights, he is no longer the father. I doubt you would send your daughter off to any other scary-type. Shared DNA does not protect children. That has been proven all too often. You're wife's family will get over it.
Bottom line? No. Not his
Bottom line? No. Not his kid, not his right, no.
(he DID already sign over rights, right?)
And then after the adoption process is over, move if you are able, change your numbers, and absolutely no contact whatsoever.
As for wife's family, they will not be responsible if the sperm donor does something harmful to the child. YOU, as her father, are responsible for her protection. It's a big responsibility, do not take it lightly. She is counting on you to protect her, whether she knows it or not. Wife's family needs to respect their boundaries, and not over-step.
Yes actually it was sad how
Yes actually it was sad how he signed the rights over. I needed to get his address for the lawyer so I contacted him saying "hi" and he said "when are you going to adopt her? hopefully soon" my heart sunk, its terribal how he is. I know all of the responsibility ever since I came into this family I was daddy, shes always been my lil girl. would i have ever sent her to him? lol no but i did need to vent this and get others oppinion and I say thank you
If he signed over the rights
If he signed over the rights and you're waiting for a court date I would THINK he technically is no longer the father and therefore has no more rights. Given his past I don't think anyone would favor him in this situation whatsoever.
I think your situation is interesting. My fiance has contemplated in the past adopting his stepdaughter. Her biological father comes in an out -- not as drastically as yours -- but recently made an attempt for more custody from BM but I'm starting to think he was just doing that to impress his girflriend. Could that be the case with your stepdaughter's biodad? Something like him trying to "save face"?
O wow now that i think of it.
O wow now that i think of it. yes you know he wanted to see her and take her somewhere with his "2 gf's..." then stoped talking about my daughter and kept talking about his 2 gf's. I cant believe i didnt see this. I think your right i believe he is tring to impress them.
thank you
If there's no order for him
If there's no order for him to have visitation, there's no obligation to give it. If he has a true interest in having a relationship with her, he'll do whatever he needs to do legally to make it happen. When he's done that, if the court orders visitation let her go. If the adoption is already in process, I would venture to say that he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
If he keeps wanting to
If he keeps wanting to actually see her. yes I would let her go. but hes stoped asking (after one time) about her. he never payed child support or called her. so sad. I think he wanted to see her so he could impress his so called 2 gf's... the court date is next week. i cant wait
So the court date is next
So the court date is next week and we all are excited. my daughter knows whats going on (we dont like to keep anything from her) about the adoption and is very excited and tells me I was always her real dad.
Me and my wife decided to write letters to her for when she gets older and has any questions (i know a lil cheese but it will do lol) about him.
Thank you all again
more comments are appreciated!