Disrespected FOR THE LAST TIME!
So we have been dealing with a few issues with SD (20), so DH has been trying to fix the relationship (never gonna happen after last night). So SD sat down and told me the issues she has with me (none of which had anything to do with me, but with what her BD tells her). I told her I am always the bad guy for actions your dad makes and that's not fair. I have done NOTHING to this child! Nothing. So after me stating my peace, she says that she doesn't want anything to do with me or her BD. I said fine, lets go, it's obvious that she's done. What else is there to say or do here? So before I left, I told her that I hope one day you get over this, but right now you have some serious issues and you still have some growing up to do. So this girl tells me to shut the F*** up and to F out of her house. I was so livid at that point, it just came out of me to tell her to shut the F up. DH told SD that she was wrong and being very disrespectful. She then proceeded to tell DH that he was taking my side over her's because I told her she has issues. Did I strike a nerve?? Oh my bad! She kept yelling obscenities while we were trying to leave, then once I was out the door she proceeded to call me a B###, and I called her one too (once again, I couldn't help it). DH told me that I shouldn't have said anything. REALLY???? She has been causing havoc in my marriage the last month or so telling lies and what not. I tried to keep my composure, but I wasn't going to allow her to speak to me that way. Then she and her roommate posted stuff on FB and Twitter about me and my DH, then calls calls her BB to tell him HER side of the story, I cussed at her first and told her she has issues. Waiting for the time her BM calls. It' still early, but I am sure she is going to chime in!! Just a matter of time. SOOOOO SICK OF THIS. I did NOT sign up for this shit!!! :O
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Yes, I do understand and
Yes, I do understand and something similar happened to me with my SD20 a few years back.
The sailor-mouthed BM (no offense to sailors) was shocked that I cursed at her out of control and slanderous daughter - horrors~!
That was mild compared to what her own mom was doing to her - undermining her education was the worst to me, allowing bad relationships was another big problem, disrespecting her elders was not happening to me or DH any more (and it hasn't now).
The truth is that time I ended up cursing at SD is where some healing started. Everyone knew what I was saying to my SD was true, but no one wanted to be the one to illuminate her to the real world outside of BM's warped perception.
It is a shame that BOTH parents made you be the bad guy. But in their hearts they know it is true and needed to be said, for their child to have any hope in succeeding. So take heart, and don't take any sh*t. HUGS
I've been there too .... and
I've been there too .... and cussed at SD22.... and called her a bitch, and said F word. She brings out the absolute worst in me. I'm like you -- done. Don't let her come to your house and just stay away from her. The longer you are away from her, the better you will be. She does need help, and she does have issues. What set my SD22 off is that she was "bragging" about her "conquests" basically and I said "that's a lot of guys in a short amount of time." Well, she went ballistic on me. My "filter" broke at that point -- you know, the one between the brain and the mouth
but it felt good to just let it rip.
Anyone who knows you, knows that SD20 is the way she is and you are who you are -- not who she says you are! Just stay away from her -- and also (learned from experience here) -- ask your husband to not tell you things that she says to him about you! That will also set you off. I know it does me. It will even set me off if he even brings her up. Then I'm ticked all over again.
Take some time away from her and her drama -- and who cares what her BM thinks. You don't have to answer the phone. SD20 is an adult and is responsible for her own actions. What you did was not illegal and you were responding to her bratty behavior. Her own mother would have done the same thing!
Been there too, got the hat,
Been there too, got the hat, the tee shirt.....the mug....
It happens and sometimes it is sooo good to clear the air..... I did it 2 years ago and I haven't looked back.
I told the truth....and that burnt her to the very heart....Sd21 then realised once and for all I could SEE through all her lies, and that I was done. I can't change her, nor do I want to, she is an Adult making all her own adult decisions....and she must live with them......not me, nor her Dad, my DH.
They say the truth hurts, what I think hurt SD21 more was that I was no longer her plaything in her fantasies and lies......
Thank you guys sooo much. I
Thank you guys sooo much. I realize I'm not the one tripping here. I appreciate you all!! The BM did call today and we just ignored her call. I feel good today!!
