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Momof5_1969 - DAMNED STRAIGHT YOU SHOULD GO! ... to your SD's wedding.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 1:22pm

I got in on this thread late and wanted to float my thoughts.

DAMNED STRAIGHT YOU SHOULD
Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 11:43am.
DAMNED STRAIGHT YOU SHOULD GO! Whether you are invited or not. Go on your DH's arm. Look classy and HOT and beam your happiness. The cockroaches will do what they always do when a bright light hits them. They will wilt and scurry for the closest and darkest corner they can find.

A couple of weeks before the wedding go for a complete fashion and style make over and hit the door to the church and recemption hall with confidence and watch the blended family oppostion jaws hit the floor and the the scowls on their faces for the rest of the festivities.

Be classy, engage with everyone, throw your head back, laugh and express absolute joy in the life that you share with your DH. And of course how happy you are that your preggo SD is marrying her baby dady.

Living well and expressing happiness and class that the oppostion can never achieve is the absolute best revenge and best way to prevent them from getting to you.

Basically what I am saying is ..... OWN THEIR IDIOT ASSES!

My wife has done this with my SS's SpermIdiot and SpermClan for more than a decade. Our happiness and success has turned SpermGrandMa in to an old crone because her idiot son screwed up his own life and the lives of three out of four of his OOWL spawn by three different baby mamas and she allowed him to ruin her life also. She does not see the truth of her idiot son only that my wife has the life of success, accomplishment and happiness that she does not have.

SpermGrandMa forecast that my wife would be miserable and have multiple OOWL children by several SpermDonors when my wife kicked SpermGrandMa's idiot son out for cheating with yet another 16yo statutory rape victim (alleged). Instead of failing in life my wife went on to finish HS with honors, college with honors, grad school with honors and has a thriving career as a CPA. Not to mention she has a 17+yr successful marrige and has raised her son (SpermIdiots oldest of 4 by 3 different baby mamas) and has traveled extensively internationally and domestically.

Whatever you do DO NOT LET THEM RUIN YOUR BLISS and get to you.

And WTF on the cheater topic? Not relevent to your situation. Some people apparently have a problem with basic math. Divorce + 4yrs before you met pretty much eliminates you and DH as being adulterors during his marriage to the BM of the idiot Skids. Unless of course you have perfected time travel in which case I want a pre IPO stock tip in your company.

Have fun.

�
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Comments

momof5_1969's picture

Submitted by momof5_1969 on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 1:41pm

Rags....thank you for your post! I literally logged on and saw this immediately and it made me smile! I told my husband the other night that I wasn't going to worry so much about worrying and going and seeing his ex-wife. I told him "I've seen her -- I look better than her, and I'm 10 years younger!" haha DH says "I can show off my trophy wife then" Smile Actually I think I'm 12 years younger than her .... she was a little older than my DH .... she is heavier than me, and I've recently lost a bunch of weight and get told by people that I look "smokin' hot!" lol So yes, I agree with you! I'll doll myself all up pretty, have a gorgeous dress on, and come walking in with my husband. Smile I've never met the BM so this will be the first time we'll see each other face to face --- so yah, I'm looking forward to that .... and for my husband being able to show me off. He deserves it for everything that she put him through with their divorce.

Yah, I'm not sure what happened with the topic on the post that I put --- yah it would be pretty amazing if through time travel if I could have been the other woman! haha! Thank you for your post .... I appreciate it and appreciate your spin on it ... made me smile and laugh! Smile

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 3:55pm

I know Rags you are the best. I asked why the 'other woman' was even mentioned as it did not apply but she didn't answer me. My dh thinks she is the other woman and she is feeling a bit guilty!! }:)

oh and I read what she wrote about sm being seated in the back and the dad and sm being seating apart. He looked at me and said "EEF that"! ANd "EEF us sitting in the back I am their father parent just as much as bm is! We will sit in the front row next to the step dad, if he gets to sit in the front row so do you!" LOL }:)

I love my dh. Smile Smile

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:14pm

Ok then let me ask you this how hard of a concept is it that the the step dad gets to sit in the front row WITH his wife (weather they cheated or not has not barring on this at all) then why is not ok that the step mom can't sit in the front row WITH her husband?

Both parents are the same to that kids as they are BOTH that kids parents period no question about that they ARE equally that kids parents. So why is it that the mom gets the front row? That is not right first of all then to make sure that the his wife is separated from him? That is not right either.

As I said if the kids were brought up to have respect for BOTH parents like they should this would not be an issue. Both parents would have an equal sitting place on the front row!

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:15pm

Disclaimer: doesn't mean I want to sit in the same row just for the sake of being fair for both parents I put it that way. Wink

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:24pm

I;m sorry but morals is telling me that setting sm in the back for whatever reason is wrong no matter how you slice it.

Sure I see that both parents have big roles but when dad walks her down he still has to have a place to sit and it is rude to make him walk out of the way and uncomfortable for all guests to have to wait til he finds his seat. Just have them all sit in the front row to make it easier and not uncomfortable for the guests.

If dad is having to take a while to find his seat then all guests knows what is going on which makes it uncomfortable. Trust me I know what I'm talking about as I have been to a wedding where this happened. Yep he was in the 2nd row. It was my sil's wedding.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:34pm

My second wedding was very informal, and my mom sat in the front row with my BIL (she didn't have a date and my sister officiated us) my dad walked me down the isle, and sat behind her in the 2nd row with my stepmom. Granted the wedding was in my backyard, and the rows were only 2-3 seats long on each side for family (the rest of the guest sat at round tables to each side of the family).

I can't REALLY recall my first wedding, but it seems like my mom and dad sat behind her then as well, as to not have my mom and step (now exstep)mom too close to each other. I didn't want a wedding AND a funeral. There was a deep hatred there. I don't recall my parents caring with how I had it set up. My SM was probably glad to just get an invite since she and I hated each other anyways. I can't see it being any other way then 2 different rows, because if they sat in the same row, one of them would have had to squeeze past the other in order to sit down. I didn't want anyone to "accidently" trip the other... or fart in their face LOL. I assumed avoid the drama and put them in different rows. My dad got to walk me down the isle, so my mom got to sit up front.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 7:39pm

SA,

I get both of your perspectives. The participate and the ignore. (my paraphrase of your post).

Rather than take a seat in the 5th row when your DH is in the 2nd I would take a seat in the front row and hold a seat for "my husband who is the father of the bride" and ignore any bullshit.

For me it would be a support my wife thing AND... and in their face thing. But you are absolutely correct that I have no parallel experience in this because my SS and I do have a pretty good relationship.

All of my input on this thread is an "this is what I would hope that I would do" rather than a "this is what I have done" contribution.

Best regards,

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:39am

In that case as the father of the bride and husband I would have taken my checkbook and bride and left. My child would have fun paying their oustanding bills with the wedding vendors and would have a remaining lifetime of crappy memories on their own head.

That whole situation would be on the Skid IMO. As the father of the bride/groom my wife would take a backseat to no one.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:47pm

I was only trying to show SMofknowitall that she wasn't making sense with making sm sit in the back without her dh. sorry maybe I said it wrong but I still think it is wrong to make them sit seperatly no matter what happened and as in this case sm is not the other woman so it doesn;t apply. I don't understand why she keeps bringing that up.

"Of course you are entitled to your opinion as to whether SM, affair partner should sit". < this is her words from her last post.

This is wrong of you to keep saying as the op has clearly stated several times that she did not have an affair. This is what is rubbing me the wrong way as you just keeps putting your own spin on this.

SMofknowitall please STOP putting your own spin on this as the op is NOT the other woman. I really think this has a lot to do with why these ladies are really upset with you. please if you want us to hear you or take you seriously you need to stop with that.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 5:59pm

You just said it again in your last post as I pointed out!
"Of course you are entitled to your opinion as to whether SM, affair partner should sit". < this is your words from your last post.

arjuna79's picture

Submitted by arjuna79 on Thu, 08/18/2011 - 8:05pm

I've been thru this twice, with two of my DH's kids getting married. The first time, the bride was from a step-family. All dynamics were respectful, there was a place for all of us, even tho it was so squirmy for me. Their energy was welcoming and inclusive. The XW is manipulative and confused but scared of me, the young trophy wife, so ok. In May was another wedding, and we are front row, XW in second row (non-traditional theatre wedding). The worst moment was at the rehearsal when the kids said "at this certain time the parents will stand up and declare their support for the bride and groom" at which point I about threw up, assuming I would just sit invisibly while the "real" parents stood up. However, the bride and groom then came up to me specifically and stated that of course I was to stand up with my spouse, as they felt my support was part of the package deal. My DH would never allow me to be anywhere but by his side, and I stand by him to support him at these occasions. The kids hold space for us to be there together. How the XW handles herself is her problem.