Am I over thinkin things (what do you think)
First of all things have been great for months !!!!! Still is great I just want your opinion on my feelings (I have NOT said anything to DH about this)
Ok so DH pays cs....Im not jealous, but the sk's are really spoiled now 9 and 8..they dont live with us the visit EOW....BM buys them all the latest game systems, games, clothes & shoes, toys and takes them on tons of trips..Disney World, Seaworld, Moody Gardens,Chucky Cheese, ..and etc
Dont get me wrong, its great she does this, and Im sure her and her hubby spend thier money too on these activites. BUT here is my issue DH and I make good but not great money in our careers but mortgages, bills, and our cars take a majority of it ...thats ok we still do good...we know have two babies of our own 16 months and 3 months! So DH says to me yesterday I want to paint the boys room and get them new comforter sets (some sports theme)...Ok this is not something to trip over....
little history: I bought my home while I was single BEFORE I even met DH ...so after we got married he moved in and my guest bedroom became the sk's room (since it was a bedroom already) when I had our first son my office became the baby room (I painted it, because this was my first baby I was excited and wanted to have a "real" baby room) then I got pregnant again ...so the discussion of switching the rooms came up I told DH since the sk's are only here EOW and we now have 2 kids, OUR kids should get the larger room because they have a ton of more stuff since they live here FULL TIME...it was an issue with DH at first, but he came around.
And the rooms were changed. But the baby room was "clean" clean carpet, freshly painted walls and all the decals on the walls were winnie the pooh (the ones that dont damage the walls that are peel off) so once they decals come off the room is perfect...(this was a brand new construction home..I was the first owner so nobody lived there but me ...so the room was perfect! But the larger room I moved the babies into now had stains on carpet marks on the walls and etc...(this was also a "perfect" room but the sk's had it for A few years....Again we are just really getting on our feet again finacially DH got a raise Im getting a little OT at work NOW Dh want to paint sk's room and get new bed sets and some clothes for them for OUR house. Meanwhile Im like ok what about our babies room, thier room is the one that needs the paint job and our kids need clothes not the 3 month old but our 16 month old does his clothes are getting too small. Now again I didnt say anything to DH because I was afraid i was overreacting in my mind ...he never said we cant do OUR boys room, but he wants to do sk's room like now! And everytime he talks about doing a fun outing its when the sk's are there..never just us and OUR kids he says because they are too little and we would have our hands full and would not be able to have fun if we took them ...or he says we would have to leave the 3 month old but could take 16 month old (I guess i understand that)
SO....I guess Im like the sk's stuff can wait! they get EVERYTHING while OUR kids get "the short end of the stick" They are still young though .....AM I OVER REACTING ?????
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I don't think you're
I don't think you're overreacting, but I don't think this is a huge issue either. Will your bks remember it? probably not. But will skids realize that they got something special? also probably not. Maybe sit down with skids and talk about how you'd really like to paing both rooms, but it's a bit expensive. They might have some great ideas. When we couldn't afford to paint the skids' rooms, SS10 went to a garage sale and got a whole bunch of fabric and we used heavy starch to stick it to the walls, like wallpaper. It comes off with water, so whenever we want to paint, we can take it off and paint the room. It even looks kind of "designer".
Not really. But think about
Not really. But think about this ... my sister and BIL visited the USA when my neice was 18mths old. They came from New Zealand for a friends wedding. They stopped off at Disneyland on the way back and there are a TON of photos of Jolie ... who is now 24 yrs old and cannot remember a single thing about the trip. Seriously, kids cannot remember too much before they are 3 yrs old.
Here is what I would do....
Point out to DH that BOTH rooms need attention and as the younger boys are there all the time it would be great to get their room out of the way first with something that will last a number of years. And the SKs room probably needs consultation as they are old enough to choose for themselves (see, making THEIR room a little more 'personal' .. or so he thinks!). Make sure you get a Rug Doctor after painting to get rid of the stains on the carpet as best as you can.
As for the trips etc ... it seems all the theme parks are covered so why not plan a couple of annual seasonal trips. Around here DH and I take my/our grand daughter to the pumpkin patch in Autumn and at Christmas Grand daughter (she is 4) and I have a special day where we go out to see Santas Christmas Tree farm and then visit all the christmas displays in the hardware stores. Hey, Lowes is a pretty cool place for free! You could include special Christmas events like tree lightings, displays, sleigh rides followed by hot chocolate at a restaurant... get my drift?
If you make it like this will be BIG family events with your shared kids and his kids this may make those other trips not so important. And also suggest to him how would he like it if his kids went nowhere and your kids went everywhere just because you can afford it.
He probably sees his kids as being able to remember trips and days out whereas the likelihood of a 16 mth old reclling an amazing light show is pretty unlikely. But this doesn't mean you can't ALWAYS take photos and make an album of outings... The day we fed the ducks, the day you went on a swing by yourself, Daddy and Mr16mths on a slide, eating sand, riding a pony. Make the outings of a different kind. More cosy and natural rather than planned and plastic and orchestrated. Even sugest he takes HIS kids fishing for the day or to see some mantype event when you can stay home with the younger 2. Even in 'intact' families this happens all the time.
I know if you put your mind to it you can make this work.