Am I crazy?
I've been thinking about what we're doing this Xmas because last year was a disaster that I don't want to repeat. Anyway, I decided that we should take a mini trip so our son can go to the amusement park and we can have some couple's time. Well DH automatically thinks his kid is invited.
Ugh!
It's been on my mind since I mentioned it so last night I asked him what his expectations were for the trip. He said that he realized that I didn't want his kid there so he won't take her but he'll have to find a way to bring her because his children will be treated equally and "whatever one gets, the other will have to get the same". I won't even take on that statement because that's such a load of crap.
Anyway, what exactly is my problem? I feel bad now. I know I shouldn't because I have all reason to want this to be a trip with MY family. I want to be able to relax and have fun. I don't know. I'm second-guessing myself and wondering if I should just suck it up and let her come. I hate feeling like the bad guy. What would you guys do?
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It's not even like she lives
It's not even like she lives with us - she lives with her mom. She spent last Xmas with us. I've been so stressed with work and all the extra stuff we have to do with a young baby that I just want some time to unwind and he's making me feel like his kid not coming this time is the worse thing.
Ask him if your son is
Ask him if your son is invited to all the things she does with her household??? I am assuming she does not live with you full time, if so the answer will be no of couse not, so you are trying to make it equal
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. She recently had her birthday party and our son surely wasn't there - no problem. It just when our son is getting something "extra" that he has a problem.
i have been for 3 years
i have been for 3 years trying to make everything equal between my bois and the skids...and I realized my kids were getting ripped off, the skids have 2 of everything, one christmas at our house and at their home, bdays, easter, everything, hell DH felt guilty for taking my kids on a fun day out without his kids...while they were at their house doing whatever the hell they do...GM has custody of the skids so their life is taken care, they do plenty of things at their household.
And if this was your year to have her for christmas I would be on dads side yes you should take her, but if its not fuck it go on your trip and leave the skid.
They don't have a set
They don't have a set schedule so there's no his/her year but we did have her last year. It's just frustrating trying to explain certain things to him without him feeling attacked. I've tried so hard but he will never see that.
I do agree with you though - there will be things that each of them gets to do that the other won't.
The main reason for the trip
The main reason for the trip was to do something for Xmas because of the disaster that was last year, so I came up with taking our son to the amusement park and spend some time after that together. It's pretty far away so we would have to stay overnight.
I think the way his other kid came about makes him touchy, but that's not my fault. I guess I'm just a bit hurt. I don't know if we'll ever be a united front when it comes to her.
>>>What would you guys
>>>What would you guys do?<<<
Make plans for the three of us.
That's exactly how it is with
That's exactly how it is with us. He doesn't plan anything. Now that I plan things for our son he wants to make a big deal. Her mother does things with her, so if I want to do something special with our son, then what's the big deal. This project I'm working on is about to kill me. I want to relax at the end of it.
from my experience skids suck
from my experience skids suck & ruin everything. so the mere thought of spending money on a vacation and taking a skid to ruin it makes no sense to me....
don't feel bad, drop the topic for a while and plan a trip on NON skid time...
There really is no set
There really is no set schedule. I guess I'll find out the days he wants to see her and plan around that.
I really appreciate all the input. I was feeling down about the conversation but I'm feeling better now.