Just recently, my "relationship" with SD came up one level from "non-existant" to "see...I told you I was a human being"! The conversations over the years have been amazing, but we may as well have been talking to a wall. I know that kids behave like they aren't listening, but secretly taking it in, but I really don't know about this one. Her best friends dad just went to jail for child molestation--and yes, we had the talk with her when we found out he was arrested because she was over at their house numerous times. She swore that nothing ever happened to her and due to some other issues last summer, she was checked by a obgyn...she was still a virgin at that point. Because DH and his ex don't practice a normal visitation schedule, SD has spent most of her time at her mom's house (this started back in November). It's like Vegas there- "What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas". Same thing for her mothers house. SD confided in me that she went on a date with some boy, but they realized they didn't really get along that well. I was so floored by the fact that she had gone on her first date and we didn't even know about it and at the same time, glad that she was talking to me about boys, that I didn't press for any details....but I am sure that it was probably walking around the mall, going to the movies or going bowling. Meaning that it was probably a public place. I can not swear that she is still a virgin, but I want to scream it to the top of my lungs that she is...does that help?!?!? Crap. No. I know it doesn't. We have had the same conversations about putting stuff out there on her Facebook...not only can disgusting perverts see these things and use their sick powers to find where you live, but those things will be out there forever...what about future boyfriends and/or husband(s) not to mention bosses?!?!

The absolute hardest part is that this is the way her mother behaves...her mother is more friend (you know the way this story goes), so instead of setting appropriate boundries for her daughter, she's there sharing her slut clothes and taking SD on dates with her when she goes to meet new men that she met online!!! Her mom's most recent ex husband (#5) was a swinger and while they were married, SD and SS witnessed sex toys laying around the house and a picture of their mom...naked as the day she was born on the computer as a screen saver....

It literally breaks my heart to know that these kids don't seem to have a chance at a normal life because DH won't force them to stay with us--even though DH is the custodial parent of record....so they are submerged in that crazy life more and more often. My SS is going to grow up to hate women, I just know it...and we all know what that means. Wife beater. Dramatic? Maybe so...maybe I will be so wrong that I will be ashamed that I ever even thought it. I pray for that shame. I really do.

***UPDATE***Just found out that SD was getting Facebook messages from some adult male that she did not know. Some of the things he said scared her. Again...I snooped. I looked through her texts on her cell. She texted her friend that this man said something like "When I see your picture, it makes me show my teeth". Something creepy like that. Her aunt (my sister-in-law) was freaking out (I did too), but this aunt is the one that set up the Facebook page for her (without asking DH...mind you) and buys her clothes that are questionable for a young woman. I wanted to scream at "Favorite Aunt" that if she would make SD take some of her porn quality pics down...maybe these strange men wouldn't be trying to get in touch with her. By no means do I believe in the thinking of "she asked for it", but I do believe that when you put yourself out there like that...you are bound to get all kinds of attention....