RJS - I see your point of view - and my SS was 12 when DD was born and I have to say that I have the picture in the hospital and that memory but I also have the memory of my SS raising my bed as high as it would go with me in it (I had a C-section and could not move much) I also have the memory that my husband could not spend every moment with me and my DD because he also had to take care of SS.

So while it would be wonderful to have him there - I say that the birth of your child is going to be so special and quite frankly I wish our BM had offered to take SS somewhere just so I could have had this time with DH and DD and I alone. It is for 2 weeks and by the time he gets back you will be settled into your home and if you are a first time mother (did not read your other blogs - sorry) you will be able to focus solely on your baby and get comfortable with having your child around - being a mother for the first time can be very scary and this way you can focus on just you and your child - and quite frankly all the memories that you want to make can be made when SS gets back - the picture at the hospital is over rated - and just keep the blanket or take one from the hospital to save and have your SS take pictures when he gets back.

I think the biggest question you have to ask is does SS want to go to Disney and if he does then let him go - you are having a baby and you are getting yourself upset about pictures that you can easily take at home - believe me I am sure your BM knows that this is upsetting you but what you need to do is first ask SS if he wants to go and if he does then sweetly say to BM "Thank you so much for doing this - Now DH and I can have someone really good one on one time and alone time with the baby and can really bond with him or her - this is so sweet for you to do this and to let us have this time"

Believe me she will be so pissed off that she is helping to make your life better and allowing you and DH to get closer will drive her crazy - so please just enjoy the last few weeks and quite frankly whatever is going to happen is going to happen and you getting all upset and wanting to take this to court and contacting your lawyer is not good stress for the baby. Sometimes we just have to ride the wave and let the chips fall where they may and be thankful that you are having a healthy beautiful baby and you will have years with SS and your darling new child to bond and get pictures of them together. I am praying for you that the delivery is easy and good and that even if SS can't be there that you and DH can bond with the baby and get closer than ever. Take care of yourself!

Trust BM to be a selfish slut... My skids didnt meet their baby sister until she was 3 weeks old and the live 5 mins away.
I find that most family members dont want to rock the boat cos they have absolutely no balls to say anything to BM about her being so selfish. She is trying to make herself more popular to SS by taking him to disneyworld and stealing your thunder.

I am sorry that it has to be that way but you cant reason with assholes

It would be cool to have SS there with you to take pictures in the hospital. No matter how close you are to your SS, though, it will be much cooler to have some time as a new first time mom to bond with your baby, have your husband's help and undivided attention, get more than 20 minutes of sleep uninterrupted, and not have to juggle another child's schedule for a week after bringing your newborn home.

No matter how great your intentions are, birth is a time where there will be a lot of attention focused on you and the new baby. It might be nice for SS to be where some attention can be focused on him, one on one, without having to compete for it.

That's my GoodbyeNormaJean upspin on the situation. But yeah, I'd be bummed too if I were you. Just look on the sunny side of it and don't feel bad about having DH to focus on you and baby for a few days. SS will have a great time, and things will have settled down a bit when he gets home, so you he can bond with his sib in peace.

We have a BM that tries to disrupt family stuff by making the point that SD8 won't be here for this holiday or that holiday b/c it falls on her weekend or whatever. Although this is not always how I feel, I usually say "Well, that's too bad for SD8. It must be tough as a parent to see your kid having to deal with missing family holidays. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that with any of MY children. I just don't know how I could bear to be a non custodial mother. You must be very strong."

I agree with the above comments. Relax. You'll want the time alone with DH and new baby, and SS may not have a chance to go to DL again. We all know it's no coincidence that BM scheduled the trip when you're due. I like Caregivers twist on this as well. If you deliver that message to BM, she might just cancel DL for you

Don't forget to get SS an assortment of Big Brother shirts too, and maybe a pin on ribbon for school. And extras that he can take to BMs

And, not sure if your family loves SS like you do, but remind them if there are some that might not be so thoughtful, that SS will love new baby even more when he sees that he's getting presents to welcome new baby home.

The reality is BM has obviously chosen these dates on purpose to get to you and your DH...dont let her succeed. Youve got a lovely little baby coming and BM should be grateful that you want your SS to be involved so much because unfortunately there are many SM's that do not feel this way. But at the end of the day you cant control what other people do, so this is on BM's conscience not yours.

Many SM's would consider themselves lucky to have a few days break to spend with just their hubby and new baby. I know it's not ideal but make the most of it! Think of it this way...you'll have a few days to recover from giving birth, have time for your husband to sort out the last minute things (eg shopping etc) and then your SS will be back and can celebrate your little baby with you once things have settled. Why dont you throw a welcome home party for your SS and your new baby? Perhaps buy SS a present from your new baby to make sure he feels he hasnt missed out on anything.

Good luck with your baby, enjoy every minute because they grow up so quickly!