Pack his bags and send him to his parents. Thats the best thing you can do for yourself. The best christmas gift you can give to yourself.

"I think I almost hate you"...... "Then I almost want you to stay. Pack you shit and be gone when I get home form work."

Refuse to go subject yourself to the torture of Christmas at the ILs with DH, his spawn and his parents. Change the locks while he is there then take a friend to Vegas.

You don't need his crap, his baggage or to burden yourself with his worthless life.

Move on.

Just my thoughts of course.

Sorry...but what an a-hole. The picture you painted to me was of this miserable slob that sits on his ass all day...while you do everything...and put up with everything..and now he "Almost hates you"?? Whatever... you're too good for that.. go make a nice life for yourself without all the drama... think of his comment as your "Get out of jail free" card...

IF i heard those words that he has made on his own free will, that would be it.

Prep yourself, make a plan, and get him out. You would be better off alone.

WOW. I agree with everyone. Don't go spend Christmas with those people, and go to Vegas on your own or with a friend. Enjoy it and relax. Then kick his butt out of the house. It's yours. You don't deserve this crap.

JMC - if I were in your shoes, here is what I would do. I would immediately open up my own account and have my checks direct deposited to there. That way if worst comes to worst, he won't have access to your money.

I am currently contemplating leaving my H because of his own actions. He has sworn he will change and so far so good but I am being "cautiously optimistic" i.e., I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

To prepare for the worst, I am doing what I can to (stealthy) disconnect anything financial. I have switched the insurance for HIS car to a different one than mine. I have registered my car in my name only, etc.

I think that he is completely taking you for granted. It sounds like you're just expected to support him and that's just how things are. I hate to break it to him, but he's an adult with kids.

I think that you should take half if not all of what's in that bank account. It's your money and tell him you need some space and he needs to go and stay somewhere else. Let him see just how much he takes you for granted when his paycheck is no longer there.

If he thinks he almost hates you and tells you that if you don't do what he wants he won't talk to you, then tell him that's fine. I think he feels like he has some sort of control over you. Look at the situation from his point of view. He doesn't have to contribute anything to the house hold. You do it and it's not appreciated at all.

I do not know the man, and please do not take this offensively, but I think that he sounds like a lazy jerk that needs a reality check. Let him know how things really work in life. He's not a child anymore and it's not your responsibility to take care of him.

JMC - you seem to be an intelligent, strong, hard working and nice woman - what the hell are you doing with this loser - I am going to get very tough here - this guy must be freaking gorgeous and fire must shoot from his ass when you are having sex - because all the things that you have just describe above about what an asshole this man is - I can't understand what you are doing with him. Someone above wrote it sounds like he loves you - I don't see his love anywhere in what you have described above - if he loved you the house would be clean, there would be respect for you over his children, he would try to get some type of job and he would not right before christmas make such a hideous remark to you -

FUCK HIM!!!!! You need to get the hell out of this relationship - yes divorce sucks - I have been through it but I don't see how it can be any worse than what you come home to and get your freaking money out of that account!!!! There have been quite a few women on here who have left their mates and the relief that they have felt when they got out on their own was palpable. This man does not really love you he loves what you do for him but does not love you. The biggest problem most women have on here is that their man does not treat them with the respect that they deserve and is not a united front with them. If the parents are the head of the house and if the parents relationship is sick then how the hell can the whole dynamic of these types of families work and be healthy - why do men think it is okay to use their 2nd wives and still cater to these asshole children to the detriment of their marriages - you need to get out - Life is so short and you only get 1 chance to live it - you sound so tired and so mentally drained it is time for you to take charge and take care of you - I am praying for you and I would tell the asshole you are married to that you will not be spending Christmas with someone who thinks they almost hate you - what an arrogant bastard you deserve better - you know that right?!?!?!?!???!?!? Also if you don't go on the trip then make sure that your bank account has not money in it because if he likes to gamble then you will have no money left and then won't be able to move out if that is what you want to do!!!

Good luck sweetie and remember you can do it on your own - it won't be easy but your life will be so much better!!

JMC, my heart hurts for you, what a fucking asshole!

1. get a P.O. Box.
2. open up a new checking account and start transferring funds to it from your joint account
3. close any joint credit accounts you have and make sure to keep some in your name only or just reduce the credit limit on cards he has access too ~ then he may not notice.
4. if your heart tells you to, give him the one last chance. but put everything on the table. otherwise proceed to 5.
5. file for divorce ~ hopefully he is not on title to your home and can not sue for his 1/2 ~ i don't know your state laws.

good luck and i'm sorry he's ruining your Christmas.

He's probably frustrated too, and who is the safest person to take all that hate on........YOU!

I get this all the time, especially when the skids are here. Its like he doesn't want to outright blast them, so he passively takes it out on me! Now that I know this, I don't let it bother me at the time, but I bring it back up later when he is over it and I make him pay for it at an appropriate time.

He hates it on Monday morning about 9 am when I call him during work and say, that was bullshit what you did this weekend. At this time of day, time is precious so he will deal with it or I will call him all day and torture him. It's been awesome how well it works. The first time, I insisted on meeting him for lunch and showing up at the shop. He was freaking out.

Skids are great at dividing us. My DH would never make me go to a function. I don't know why yours is threatening you like that. You're not a child and you don't feel welcome. So what the hell is his problem?

Vegas will probably be fun if you go because the family and skids aren't going. If you are going to divorce him, do it wisely so you won't be hurt further by him.

I will occasionally get stupid with my wife also. After all, I am a man.

But when I do, I tend to recognize fairly quickly that I screwed up and I make every effort to make amends. My wife is my partner, my best friend, she made me a dad, she is my love, she is my best friend and she is the most cherished person in my life and I have a lot of great people in my life.

I lived an amazing life before I met her but she has made my life even more amazing. She has made me a better man, a better professional, a better friend, a better son, a better brother and uncle and definitely a better husband and she honored me by letting be her son's father.

No lady deserves to be treated as anything but a cherished partner whether a working professional or a SAHM and wife. My mom was a SAHM and wife. That was and is her profession. She also is my dad's partner, best friend and love and no less critical to his life and family than he is. My dad retired in Jan of this year. What I realized recently is that my mom did not get to retire. Her chosen profession and career has no retirement. No one gets to retire from being a mom and a wife. My dad is right there with her. He cleans up after every amazing meal that mom cooks. He joins her in the yard when she needs his help with her latest remodel of the landscaping (which he detests doing but he enjoys hanging with mom), he is right beside her when she is doing her usual amazing Christmas decorations, Halloween productions, 4th of July extravaganza and ThanksGiving feast. He was at her side helping her in and out of bed, to the bathroom and getting anything she asked for during recovery from two knee replacement surgeries last year. She is his life and he is hers.

I leaned from them how to love and how to cherish my wife. My XW was not worthy and did not recognize what I was commited to. My amazing wife gets it.

I am sorry that any lady has to suffer through an asshole husband or BF. I can be an asshole myself but I try very hard to limit my asshole outbreaks.

Your DH says you should have compassion and love his kids. Love can certainly be given. But, to keep it the recipients of your love need to earn it, every day by cherishing you as you do them. If they don't they are not worthy and you need to move on with your life. Eventually you will find someone who earns your love every day by appreciating and cherishing you.

I hope you find it soon.

Be okay and take care of yourself.

Merry Christmas.

Now I am going to the office to shred yet another man card.