Cheating happens in many forms - it is does not have to be sexual in fact most women consider emotional cheating worse than the physical cheating. Yes you have a right to be concerned and you are not overreacting - this woman needs to get a new "friend" and I will tell you that if my DH was doing this he would be in big trouble. Have a talk with DH and tell him it has to stop - not appropriate at all. The only person your DH should be talking to continually throughout the day is you. Your DH may feel nothing for her but it sounds like she has feelings for your DH.

NIP THIS IN THE BUD NOW!!!! It starts out small and then it blossoms and it may have started out innocent but these things have a way of getting our of control!!

I don't blame you for being upset/concerned, I would be also. Obviously anyone knows that unless their SO is a hermit, they are going to come into normal casual contact with other women. BUT, this is not normal casual contact, he has taken it beyond acceptable and reasonable boundaries. She needs to have respect that he is a married man and his wife probably isn't going to appreciate the fact that she is texting him all the time and he is stopping over at her house constantly. He, as the married man, should know and realize that his behavior is not okay, that it's upsetting you and it needs to stop.

I don't understand why situations like this, the SO doesn't see that this is making the person they are with uncomfortable and what they are doing crosses boundaries? Of course you DH says now that if the shoe were on the other foot he wouldn't care, but he obviously realizes that you wouldn't do that to him so he can say that all day and know it would never be put to the test, while I am sure if it were to actually happen to him he would be pissed.

My DH pulled a stunt on me once when we were first together and had just made things official (but not married yet). While we were together he became pretty "good friends" with a female stripper that was living in one of the apt buildings he took care of. Once I found out about it, I told him that it was not appropriate and crossed boundaries. I said that if he wanted to continue a relationship with me, it was not something I would be comfortable with him continuing. If he fealt the need to continue with her that fine but then let me know so I could move out and move on before things between us got any more serious.

This is a discussion I had with DH early on in our relationship. Ours was more related to him hanging out in bars than being with one particular woman. I think the idea is the same, though.

I explained that I don't go sit in bars without him. It creates a situation that raises too many questions. Whether it should or not, it makes me feel uneasy. I don't feel like he would go out with the intention of cheating on me, but with liquor & bar-flies in the mix, it's something I feel is inappropriate.

Your husband may not intend for things to happen but, like Caregiver said, it doesn't have to be physical to be cheating. Them spending time together alone & the texting back & forth...it cuts into his family time & it cuts into her family time. There's no reason for them to be giving that to each other.

He may think there's nothing there but who's to say she isn't looking for more?

If it raises ill feelings for you, that should be reason enough for it to stop.

My personal thought is the best way to avoid innocent contact turning into more is to just not put yourself in a postion to let it happen. .

There has been quite the new term floating around lately in the land of Divorce World and it is called an,

" Emotional Affair"

Google-

There was a hairdresser that worked next door to my husband's office that would show up everyday and try to "woo" his emotions out of him by trying to be "concerned." This was a newbie, 40 something divorced woman.

Note that I said "was coming" over. This being after DH cut her off coldly and I showed up to make her do my highlights. }:) (don't fuck with what is mine, bitch.)

To me, the issue is not that your H is getting friendly with another woman.

To me, the issue is, whether your H thinks it's right or wrong or even if he thinks you are overreacting,

IF IT BOTHERS HIS WIFE, HE SHOULD BE RESPECTFUL ENOUGH TO PUT A HALT TO IT - out of concern for YOUR feelings.

i think you have every right to be annoyed by his interaction with her.the rule is,if he wouldn't be comfortable with the situation if the tables were turned then he shouldn't be doing it.anything you know you wouldn't like if your spouse did it to you then you should refrain from doing it yourself.it's the simple do unto others rule.maybe you should draw pictures and highlight that rule for him to understand.

SM2bd I would have a SERIOUS problem with this. HELL NO. Nip it in the BUD NOW!!!! And your DH has a lot of god damn nerve. He says he won't have a problem with you doing this? Call him on his bluff. Get a male friend of yours to start texting you in the middle of the night. Go out to lunch with him everyday. Do it for a few weeks and see how it goes over. I'm pissed about this and it isn't even happening to me!!!

Same thing happened to me with a girl from my DH work. They would talk all the time; not even about work; they would go to lunch; she would always "end up" where we were???? It got to the point that when we ran into some of HER friends they would say how much she talked about MY husband... That is when I put the foot down (I typically roll over; but not on this one) I told him to pick - flat out! I told him that I was going to make a few guy friends at work; and I wasn't going to give two shits if he liked it or not.

I told him to make up an excuse or do whatever he had to before she recieved a call from ME!! I told him it was disrespectful and rude to do someone you love and I would never put him in that situation. I left the ball in his court.....

Needless to say, they don't talk like that anymore.... Good Luck

Like Maux, I work with all men. It's a small community and most of us are friends. I would not date a man I work with, I keep that separate. If BF and I have opposite sex friends, they are friends with both, like family friends.

Your DH is dating this woman. Might not be physical, but he is dating her IMHO.

I definitely dont agree with what your dh is doing. It might be one thing like somebody else mentioned, if it was every once in a while going out to coffee IN A PUBLIC PLACE, but not constantly going to her house where there is no one else to see what is happening, constantly texting each other through the day. I have a few 'guy friends' but I dont really call them friends, more like people I associate with sometimes, like one of my 'friends' helps me study at the library and my dh knows this. and neither one of us has had a long term friendship with the opposite sex before we met each other, so he cant pull that card saying he's known this person forever. I hope your dh will stop what he is doing and realize that if YOU were doing this, im sure he would not be so happy about it either!

Look at it this way...
If she is his friend, then she should be your friend also. So why aren't you both invited? If nothing if up, then these invitation should include you both.

You can show up at her home during one of these innocent coffee breaks and nobody should mind since nothing is up, or you can invite her to your house for coffee and see if she excepts. Call her and invite her and her response will tell you what you need to know.

uh....i'd be asking, if my opinion was over sought i'd flip the coin on him.

my ex fil did that, then we found out that they fell in love a long time before he broke the ice. she was going with us on family events, eating out with us after church on sunday's.....was right under our noses...

i'd question, maybe look at his sent and received texts. my dh will sometimes just pick up my phone and read a sent/received text and i'll do the same...but we are VERY open

Well, its a little overboard and inappropriate. The intimacy he is giving her belongs to you. Let him know that.