Whose responsiblity is it really?
FDH is in the beginning stages of filing for modification of CS and parenting time. The atty has been waiting for the financial documentation to back-up what he (I) stated in the financial affidivt.
Today is my day off, but I got up at 7:30am and started scanning and emailing the documents to the atty. I've spent 4 hours on this today so far and I just called FDH to ask him to please find 3 items when he got home today. His reply...
FDH:they are all right there in the boxes in the folders you made.
Zen: Well, would you mind finding them for me since you know what everything looks like?
FDH: they are in the boxes in the folders you made. Go through the boxes.
Zen: I am asking you for you to look through the boxes and folders and find them honey. I have spent...
FDH: Why can't you go through the boxes they are right there?
Zen: I have spent all morning...
FDH: Don't yell at me, you need to call me back when you are in a better mood!
Zen: I am not yelling, I need you to stop interupting me. I am asking YOU to find these items for me. I spent the entire morning doing this for you...
FDH: I can't talk to you right now, fine I will do it when I get home.
Zen: ok, bye.
FDH: (yelling) Bye!
Okay, whose responsiblity is it really to get all this stuff to the atty? Me or FDH?
I feel like sometimes he expects me to be the driver as he rides along in the passenger seat. This is not my action, this is not my past, this is not my mess...<<>>
You would think the man would be motivated than he is to change this CS, after all it's a clear cut case. He doesn't make $1,500 a month more than his current salary. He no longer collects SSI because of his cancer. Though the CS is calculated based on SSI and his income from his employment. Basically, his CS would be cut in 1/2. why is he so lazy about it?
This is not how I wanted to spend my day off and certainly not how I intended our conversation to go. I guess I am willing to do MY part to better our financial situation, but feel he needs to contribute some energy to this matter, because afterall it is HIS not mine.
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My FDH has come a long way
My FDH has come a long way from where we started. I truly don't mind doing some of the work when and if I have time. I am, as most women are a better organizer of information/data/documentation.
However, in this case, I did 90% of the work and expect him to do the remaining 10% - that's all. It should be that simple, but obviously it's not.
I hear ya about the pulling back and doing nothing. I have doing a bunch of that recently, but I feel I still need and want to maintain a certain level of involvement since it does affect my life as well.
Yeah, this is stuff he should
Yeah, this is stuff he should be doing himself. On top of that, he gave you attitude even though you spent the whole morning of your day off doing this crap for him? Seriously? DH handles all of the court b.s. and c.s. crap himself. I want no part of it, and he knows that. He is a grown man, he can figure out his own court responsibilities and c.s. adjustments himself.
My SD is 17.5 and SS is 16.
My SD is 17.5 and SS is 16. Since I have been a part of their (and H's) life, BM has been taking H to court like clockwork.
Now that she is trying to get CS increased again, I mentioned contacting our lawyer (really slimy, but knows the law inside and out) and you would have thought I said we should kill one of the skids!
He STILL thinks that if he doesn't "rock the boat" with BM, that she won't be as mean. GUESS WHAT?!? THAT SHIP HAS SAILED!
Oh yeah, he expects me to do all the data gathering as well. But I have been catching on...it's not that he CAN'T do it (like he claims), it's that I have always done it when he won't! Not anymore...
Zen this was a sore spot with
Zen
this was a sore spot with me as well. All these years of paying WAAAAAAy more than he should finally when i realized how he was paying so much more than he should I forced him to get a modification. It was many months of arguements and me Bitching about it for him to finally do something. I got really resentful because this would be a benefit to him regardless of he and I being together or not..I could not wrap my hands around a man that would not pursue this faithfully and why did i have to keep bringing it up for him to act on it?????
end result he got it modified by a couple hundred but honestly I think it could have been lowered even more....another story. ...but i understand your frustration. In essence it isn' your responsibility but in order for it to get done and if you plan on being with the man i guess it will take some coaching from you unfortunately.
Good luck
Whateva