This makes no sense...
This may sound petty, but it really go on my nerves and hit a sore spot. So, I was on Facebook the other day and was browsing profiles. I happened to come along my sister in law's facebook page and I took a look at her friend list. I was kind of shocked to see that BM was one of her friends on there. Seeing that DH and BM only "dated" for like a month, it's not like SIL had formed some sort of relationship with BM. Soooooo I also see that my Brother in law's fiancee is on Facebook as well. And what do you know? She is BM's friend on there too! Now, I really really don't get this one because BM was long gone before fiancee ever came in the picture so WTF? I'm not even friends with these women on Facebook so why would they be friends with BM? Everyone on DH's side of the family knows how sneaky and spiteful and nasty BM is to DH, so why the hell have they friended her on there, and not me?!?! Are you kidding me? Ughhh...I'm really not fond of the in-laws right now....
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don't stress about
don't stress about facebook.it is THE single most vile peace of crap ever invented when it comes to causing trouble in blended families.in my opinion
my inlaws have had biomonster on their pages for years.that's why they aren't on my page anymore.i can't trust them not to share things with biomonster that they learn on my page.they got angry when i wouldn't add them but i told them i consider biomonster to be in the 'enemy'camp and they are currently sleeping with that enemy.I also told them they can't hope to form a good bond with me while still smooching the exwifes butt all the time.they don't need to choose between us but they do need to respect present vs past and put some better boundaries up.
I agree with you it is pretty
I agree with you it is pretty vile lol. I actually only got the thing in the first place to keep in contact with a few close friends that are out of area and one that is overseas, you know i'm not one of those people on there that has 3,000 friends or what not. I absoloutely agree that it's important for inlaws to set boundaries between present spouse and ex spouse or ex gf. I see it more as a slap in the face than anything else.
Ugh...I'm so sorry you haveto
Ugh...I'm so sorry you haveto deal with that crap too. What really gets me is that these people didn't get a chance to form a bond with BM while she was with DH because they were together for a month! DH didn't even introduce BM to any of his family while they were "dating". So it's like really? So what should I have done? Just spread my thighs and lied about being protected, popped out a kid with someone I barely even knew, been a complete bitch, and thennnnn I'd be a respected part of the family? Jeez...I have it totally twisted by being a loving, caring wife who is waiting until we are BOTH ready to start a family. What an ass I am
I feel like you are talking
I feel like you are talking about my life! I had tried to be nice and cordial to BM1 (there are two BMs in my situation) by agreeing to friend her on FB...then the next thing you know, she and BM2 are friends on there - neither could stand each other before I came along. They began posting pictures together and talking about how great their kids were and how great of friends they were. Then the BM1 started babysitting SD from BM2....my husband got pissed about this and let them both know how he felt. BM1 was posting how awesome it was to be able to watch SD2 and how she felt like a second mom to her (in not-so-many words) I had to delete my FB relation with BM1 and I would not be friends with BM2. She was HORRIBLE to my husband and I can't get over it. In addition, my inlaws, husbands cousins, extended family, EVERYONE is friends with BM1 on FB. They love her. I want to barf. I live 2000 miles away from my family and best friends. I use FB to keep in touch and this shit almost makes me want to delete it so I don't have to continually be reminded of my second spot in this family......and I don't even go looking for it! It is posted in my face over and over again.
So in a nut shell, yeah, I feel your pain and I am sorry some people are inconsiderate of feelings. UGH!
It's ok to be hurt, but
It's ok to be hurt, but remember that alot of people have "friends" on FB who they barely know.
Here's a classic example.... one of my DH's cousins sent me a friend request on FB I accepted because while we aren't close, we do communicate as she had a baby 1 week after I did, so we went to each other's showers, sent each other cards after babies were born, comment on each other's baby pics etc. Imagine my surprise (and irratation) when I saw while scrolling through her "friends" that she was friends with pyscho BM?? I would be surprised if they have ever even met each other face to face and they certainly don't know each other BUT cousin has like 2000 friends, so she is one of those people that friends every one that she remotely knows or knows of and BM is one of those people that will accept a friend request from any joe schmuck, so there you have the relationship (or lack thereof)
I'm sure that is the case with your BM, don't let it bother you, I agree 100% with Asher FB is the cause of alot of un-necessary drama!
Yeah I guess it would bother
Yeah I guess it would bother me less if they were both serial-frienders, but they both only have like 30 friends on there, ME deffinately not being one of them. It's a respect and loyalty issue in a way
Don't be sorry That's
Don't be sorry
That's exactly the thing, where is the loyalty with the family? My inlaws know how much we detest BM, so it's not like they have an excuse. Hell, my sister doesn't even have any kids with anyone, and if SHE had a sore spot with an ex boyfriend, I would dislike him. Because, she is my sister and I'm on HER side, not someone else's. I just don't understand why people's loyalties are so misplaced
I agree it is about loyalty.
I agree it is about loyalty. I have issues with SIL's chatting it up with SD. I am not friends with her, but get to see comments once in awhile. Infuriates me and I recently called one of them out on it.
No reply - big surprise.
FB is pure evil! I cannot
FB is pure evil! I cannot believe the amount of drama that went on with that. I finally deleted my account because of that very sort of thing. SO and his bulldozer oldest daughter and MY friends who they barely know! Ugh! What a nightmare. It has been the cause of major turmoil for us. SO and I both shut off our accounts.
Where were you guys when I
Where were you guys when I posted about my SIL who is *best friends* with crazy BM and it upset me and I tried to talk to SIL about it and just ended up causing a no speaking contest? All I got were responses that I should get over it..........
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! My SIL's are all friends with BM too and it is so annoying. It's OVER. They are DIVORCED! Find NEW FRIENDS! Ugh.
Ashers - I'm with you - DH and I both do NOT have FB because although it provides an awesome way to keep in touch with so many people you would otherwise not communicate with..... I think it causes A LOT of trouble and it just isn't worth it to us!
I'm sorry I missed that post,
I'm sorry I missed that post, because I would have supported you!! Things like this may seem small to others in the scheme of things, but it's a shitty thing to do!
It's also unnerving because I
It's also unnerving because I think the BM's do it on purpose not because they actually WANT to be friends but to be spiteful. Hmmm, so when they were married nobody liked eachother. Now that they are divorced everything is fine and they should be friends?! I don't think so! It makes me even MORE mad when I think about how BM does stuff like that to make me/DH mad - and then it works and I do get mad!! Grrr!
I couldn't agree more with
I couldn't agree more with this statement! Have you ever gotten the comment from the BM: "It's not my fault you are insecure and jealous.."
I am neither. I am annoyed. BIG difference.
oh you are so right. that
oh you are so right. that deffinately makes it more aggrivating. like you, i know damn well that BM doesn't care to befriend these two women. she doesn't give a shit, she just does it to be vindictive, like everything else she does.
omg how rediculous! see, now
omg how rediculous! see, now that i know that they are friends with bm on there, if they tried to friend request me i would deny it because i don't want bm getting access to my info and the in laws have big mouths
I totally agree it is loyalty
I totally agree it is loyalty and respect...and am in fact in the same boat...SIL was my best friend until FB friends with BM....so over it...she always talked about how she hated BM but now they chat? What the heck?
Ya, DH's brother is FB
Ya, DH's brother is FB "friends" with BM. His brother and I were friends in real life for years before either BM or I knew DH. He never responds to any comments she adds to his and he never posts anything on hers. I find it humorous actually. He told me when he "friended" her and said she requested him so he added her as he was shrugging his shoulders like, "whatever."
I think it's kind of pathetic looking that she's telling him to wish my MIL a happy birthday and he doesn't say spit back to her. lol
Facebook is def a mess
Facebook is def a mess starter!! agreed - I wouldn't worry about that; things like that will drive you crazy. My FH is "friends" with some old GF and I just shrug it off. Yet he will check my profile every morning. Games, stupid silly games. It sounds to me like it just slightly bothers you; but isn't ruining your life or anything; fair.......In laws are pains in asses - I swear they do stuff just to piss you off.
yeah you are right, it
yeah you are right, it doesn't make me lose sleep at night, just really confuses and irritates me. and so true, i as well think in laws do things just to piss us off lol
I was looking through my
I was looking through my niece-in-law's page and noticed that she also had AM as a friend....even commented on one of AM's pictures--calling her "beautiful"! (I think I actually threw up in my mouth over that one!) I was beyond pissed...I think I was actually more hurt than anything. Niece supposedly can't stand AM because of AM's treatment of skids....only to see this comment. I mean, it's not like someone held a gun to her head and told her to comment on that pic. Like I said...I think I was more hurt than anything. And not because Niece called AM "beautiful" (but really...get your contacts updated or get out a dictionary to figure out what that word means) it's that Niece felt the need to comment on anything at all. And yes, Niece is an adult...not some young kid trying to make good with ex-aunt or anything.
FB is evil. BM will not let
FB is evil. BM will not let skids be FB friends with either DH or me. In addition, her privacy settings aren't right, so we can see her whole page. It's especially bad when her or her new husband make disparaging remarks about DH or me. The skids can see those comments, which include cursing, name calling and the accusation that DH is a deadbeat dad (which he is most definitely not). It's annoying, frustrating and hurtful. Ugh!
PRINT THEM!!!!!!!!!PRINT THE
PRINT THEM!!!!!!!!!PRINT THE BAD COMMENTS.....you might need them one day and then it will prove what a dumb a$$ she is