Money issues
So, I new the day would come when we argued about money. It's my fault. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm getting the shaft. I get a retirement check and up to a week ago, I stayed home.
Before I married DH, I has my check as direct deposit into my own account. My boys also have an account in the same bank and I can easily manage their money and help them with money if need be.
When I married DH, I moved my direct deposit to OUR account. I later realized that my other bank started charging me a fee for not having detect deposit, so I changed it back. DH found out and is now accusing me of stashing my money for me! I have always paid the bills with him and I even pay for the skids' stuff too. I have it set up so MOST of my money gets allotted into our account. I keep a small amount for my boys (who don't live with me).
Since we've been married, I'm the one who pays the bills (with his and my money). In the past I've asked him to review the budget with me and was turned down three times. I've never put in less money than him; on the contrary-I make more and I use it for us (to include SS22 and SD16).
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Sorry for errors! Written
Sorry for errors! Written from IPhone
Money is such a sensitive
Money is such a sensitive subject. I hope DH calms down and realizes you weren't trying to be sneaky about anything nor are you contributing any different than in the past.
I wasn't trying to be sneaky.
I wasn't trying to be sneaky. In the past, I've moved money from my account to our account to cover the bills. When I tried to show him what was going on, he didn't want to hear it. That's been his teaction on three seperate ocassions-doesnt want to know what it takes to cover the bills.
So now I make this move and he's all of a sudden interested. And it wasn't done maliciously; I'm not by any means a greedy person.
Maybe you should buy him some
Maybe you should buy him some chill pills
Tell DH if he wants to get
Tell DH if he wants to get pissed about the bills then he needs to sit down and do them with you and if he has no desire then he needs to STFU. It is your money you have children as well - if you want to pay for them that is your deal - you are helping him with the skids and I am sure he is not complaining about that money transaction.
That's my point exactly! It
That's my point exactly! It seems to me that as long as I'm helping him pay to maintain the house for his kids, then my hard earned money is fine in OUR account. If I move a little to help my boys, there's a problem!
I just don't like the fact that I can earn money, pay the bills with him and keep us going, but I can't choose to leave a little on the side for me or my children? WTF!!
You need to tell him that if
You need to tell him that if he continues then you will take all of your money and put it in your account and then you will split the house bills 50/50 and he can pay for all of the skids things and 50/50 of the house - see how well that goes over - he really should just shut up since you make more and are I am sure helping to pay for the food, clothes and covering some of the house bills if he has to pay CS.
Agree with Caregiver. My H
Agree with Caregiver.
My H recently decided that he needed his own checking account (we have one - joint). For some reason this bothered me at the time.
I said to him that if that were the case, I would ALSO get my own account because I don't understand why he can take his money and blow it while I am left picking up any extras that we end up having to pay for. I said that I was earning more money than him PLUS getting CS for my son, so why would I be broke every month while HE had money to blow on stupid (to me) crap!
Now he has decided he DOESN'T want separate accounts - and I have decided that a separate account is a GREAT idea!!
See, they want their cake and
See, they want their cake and be able to eat it too.
I make more money than DH. I pay bills with him to maintain a home for us and his kids. My kids don't benefit from my income unless I make an effort to do things with/for them (their dad doesn't make me pay CS). So! It's real important to me to save money for my boys. I can't pay for the skids and leave my sons without stuff. I have to take care of them too. I pay for driving lessons, clothes, school supplies and other stuff.
Plus, with all the money I make, we rarely have money left over to get my hair done or buy a new pair of sneakers. I don't think it's right because I'm putting in more money than him and I can't even treat myself to a small pleasure. Doesn't seem right!