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Christmas Arrangements

lisa510's picture

Submitted by lisa510 on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 6:18pm

This is my Christmas with my biological boys (19 and 16). My DH and I have only been married since May 2010. We live with my skids (SS2, SD16). My boys live with their dad.

My DH ALWAYS spends Christmas with his family, two hours from where we live. So this Christmas, he wants my boys and I to spend Christmas with his family. My younger son, has been around the big family once; my older son has never been around any of the family.

My boys don't want to go to the big family affair for Christmas. They've expressed that they'd feel uncomfortable waking up in a house where they only know their mom and "step-dad."

My DH's family is much bigger than mine and, even I feel uncomfortable sometimes because there are sooo many of them.

So, what's your opinion:

Should I influence my boys to go to the big family Christmas (we'd be there for a few day)?en

or

Should I influence my DH to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my kids and his kids in our home, then drive to the big family event?

I'm interested in your feedback.

Comments

Shell8078's picture

Submitted by Shell8078 on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 6:32pm

Sheesh is it that time already!!!

Your kids always come first. You will just need to let your DH know that you will joing his family later on Xmas Morning.

Don't force your kids to do something this extreme on a holiday, you should start them off slowly with a birthday party or two even the 4th of July but not big holidays.

After all your kids may still be getting used to the whole combined family thing and your new husband.

Why don't you boys live with you?

LizGrace65's picture

Submitted by LizGrace65 on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 6:46pm

Can you afford to get a hotel near DH's family? That way you all wake up together and can still get to the family easily. My brother has had Christmas morning in a suite style hotel with his daughter and he was able to make it a festive adventure....

L

lisa510's picture

Submitted by lisa510 on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 6:51pm

I think I'm gonna follow my boys' lead on this.

After thinking about it, maybe I should tell DH that the same way he appreciates waking up with his family, my boys want to wake up with their family - me!! In a home I've created for them, with a tree that has their ornaments hanging on it, in their sleep pants, messed up hair, and stinky breath --- without feeling like visitors in someone's home.

wriggsy's picture

Submitted by wriggsy on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 5:59am

Opt for the kids feelings this time. Through the year, attempt to get your sons acquainted with their newly extended family. That's one of important aspects of Christmas...family...IMHO. Can it get crazy...certainly. Can it also create great memories? Absolutely.

Not exactly the same because my story is from before my own parents got divorced, but one year, the entire family made a trip to my grandparents house in Michigan. There were people EVERYWHERE--most people I knew, some I did not! My grandparents had cleared out the attic and put cots up there for the kids. I was 8 at the time and still believed in Santa. I still love thinking of Christmas Eve that year...all us kids giggling like crazy every time we "heard Santa" going down the chimney. It is one of my favorite Christmas memories...the only time in my life that the entire (paternal side)family were together for Christmas.