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Does anyone here think your skids have been sexually abused?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 11:35pm

Quite frankly, I come across some entries where I can't help but wonder if the kids in question were sexually abused, because I've done a ton of research on this subject, and some of these blog entries mention actions/behaviors of the kids that are also symptoms of abuse (i.e. bedwetting, sexually inappropriate behavior, etc).

My skids were sexually abused. DH discovered this right around the time I miscarried. SD16 (then 11.5) and SD14 (then 9.5) had been acting sexually inappropriately. They didn't hurt any other kids, but they were fondling themselves all the time, very moody, wetting their bed, and keeping to themselves. We were very worried, and DH sat down and calmly asked the kids about it and who was responsible for it.

BM was & is friends with a lot of creeps and even had some of them living with her & the kids. She had a robber living there. She had three known child molesters living there at the same time. Yes, this woman was the CP.

SD16 told DH what happened. Each of these 3 guys had been hurting them. Each man abused them equally horribly. One who had a room near the kids used to go in there at night and fondle them in their vaginal areas when they were trying to sleep. One used to kiss them on the lips and the other urinated on them. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard this from DH. I felt horrible for the kids and disgusted with BM & her perverts.

We got custody and the three molesters are singing the Folsom Prison Blues. I'm so glad they're in prison where they can't hurt anyone else. I truly hope they're not in protective custody.

Comments

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 7:54am

I sometimes wonder about my SD. She started having night terrors right after she started at a new daycare. Now she is a single mom at 17 and pretends on social networking sites that she is 20.

1sttimestepmom's picture

Submitted by 1sttimestepmom on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 5:32pm

I have often worried about my SD especially in the beginning. She has had a few pants-wetting incidents at school (blown off as inattention) and often tries to touch DH inappropriately and is hyper aware and uncomfortable of any male (even babies like my nephew) walking around without a shirt on. BM is hyper sensitive about anything to do with sex or affections so I'm not sure if its her making SD feel "dirty" for wanting to be affectionate or something from the past that happened to her. She did make a comment to her kindergarten teacher last year that scared DH and I a lot but hasnt mentioned it since.

alwaysthemom's picture

Submitted by alwaysthemom on Thu, 10/28/2010 - 9:57pm

I worried and discussed this very thing when me and HB were dating. SD(11)6 then was bleeding from her anus. I questioned that. BM had all kind of creeps at her home...living with her etc. Since SD has lived with us(6 yrs) no bleeding. Hmmmmmmmmm????!!!

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 5:17pm

Yes, this is very disturbing behavior from your BM!!

I am so sorry you and the others have had to go through something so life changing!! Some people are just sick, sick people-!!!!!

Nette5's picture

Submitted by Nette5 on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 10:42am

I know that my skids have been sexually abused. And our BS. I know this because we have been living with it all for the last 1 1/2 years. Ever since BS disclosed that his brother SS was touching him wrong. Come to find out that SS was sexually abused years ago and his BM did NOTHING to get him help. It came out in court that her BS (SS's other half brother) was sexually abused by SS years ago and again, she did NOTHING. If she had done or said something to ANYone, we could've prevented 6 other victims from being victims, including SD (understandably, her BM was so upset). It horrified us to know that SS was struggling and had nowhere to go. We tried, but couldn't get through the PAS. I regularly talked to all 3 of my kids (BS, SD, & SS) about getting help from grown ups if they don't feel safe.

In the end, SS went to treatment for a year, and the rest of the victims are/were in counseling. Now SS lives with us. Yes, I have my son's abuser in the home with us. SS confessed that the KID who sexually abused him had told him to go and do it to other kids. We follow very strict rules here. My SS is safer here. In treatment, he learned about wrong touching, how to get help,who to talk to, AND that we are not the crap that his BM tried so hard to teach him.

My SS now has limited contact with his BM through his Probation Officer. BM was court ordered to counseling. He wants nothing to do with her. He now knows who tried to help him all these years. He sees the PASing that she did. He has basically said that he won't go back to fall into that trap again, cuz if he goes back, he could end up re-offending. We don't ever want that, he has worked too hard to get where he is today. We could never turn SS away. He is part of our family, who deserves to be respected for the work he has done to get where he is today. We know that he was in an unhealthy environment where he couldn't get the help he needed to get better. Now he is safe also.

My BS... My sweet boy who was the one whose voice was heard. My angel who let his brother do this so that brother would 'pay attention to him'. Knew then and knows now, that what his brother did was wrong. My little boy, who was accosted in the school bathroom by another kid trying to sexually abuse him at school.... With the knowledge he learned in counseling, and his hands, he fought this other kid until help arrived.

My boy, is a fighter. My boy, is a lover who forgave his brother. My boy, is a rock. In this new world, he is learning to be a full-time little brother and learning to share his parents. My little boy SAVED his big brother by speaking out. He is my everything and I need to remember every day how strong he is. I love my X-man!!!

Sleepy's picture

Submitted by Sleepy on Fri, 10/29/2010 - 12:20pm

Those poor girls. I'm so sorry that happened to them, but so glad your DH now has custody.

My SS16 acted out sexually to my son. SS was then 12 and BS was 4. BS told us right away. DH confronted SS who lied and said it didn't happen. DH called BM who also called my BS a liar. I called the police. BS was interviewed and it was determined that it did occur. SS and BM were threatened with arrest if SS didn't go in voluntarily. The county became involved. They required SS to go to counseling. He went twice, yep, only twice and refused to go again. The county said he met the requirement and couldn't do anything more.

SS's counselor believes SS was sexually abused. BM has had many live-in and sleep-over BF over the years. Some of them were drug addicts and/or dealers. SS won't tell - ever. He denies anyone ever hurt him, but he is angry, oppositional, hot-tempered, impulsive, depressed....

Yes, I'm pretty sure someone hurt him. And there's not a damn thing DH, the counselor, or I can do about it. And he has never and will never, ever be around my kids unsupervised again.