Moron's of the Day-Adult Step Children!
Well it was a hard weekend. I deleted all of my step children and all of my husband's relatives from my Facebook account after my oldest darling adult step daughter posted this, "What happens when you fuck a married man? 5 step children who are out spoken! fucking deal with it in a mature manner. Don't talk shit about my sister and actually your STEP CHILD."
Her sister is a nutbag, too, but I didn't post anything bad about her. Then my adult stepson calls and flips out on me as well. By the way, I only have four stepchildren, not five. The fifth one must be the ex-ex (not related to my husband and was my husband's ex-wife's daughter from a previous marriage).
According to my adult step son I am "alienating the rest of the family" and "the reason no one comes around anymore is because" of me. You know, I don't want the stepkids coming around anymore, after this little pile of crap gave his almighty speach to me. And, I appreciated his middle sister posting that I was a "bitch" on Facebook, and his other sister posting the above "married man" routine on her Facebook page for all of our friends and relatives to see. We live in a very small town and most of the relatives are on our accounts. So, lets go ahead and tarnish the family name by posting bull shit on a Facebook page for the entire town to read.
Oh, and I guess the little darlings forgot that I am the one married to their father? He's married all right. Married to ME not their whacko basket mother.
Comments
I had thought of that. It is
I had thought of that. It is just embarassing all over, for everyone, and should be embarassing for her as well.
I think maybe it is both #1 &
I think maybe it is both #1 & #2 combined. Both of these choices hit the nail on the head.
Good information here. I
Good information here. I think you are right.
Everything that StepAside
Everything that StepAside said, especially the two part scenariois right on!!
In addition, do NOT fall for the "you're alienating the family" bullcrap, ALL OF US for the most part who are in adult Step nightmare scenarios have heard this MANY TIMES. And, because they know that we are inherently GOOD people, they know it's gonna hurt us....until we get SMART and realize that it's just a TACTIC to try to get ALL THE ATTENTION of US and onto THEM.
Best thing to do is just to forget they exist. They are your H's problem, not yours. Concentrate on your OWN family, your OWN affairs. Then they have three choices a. Continue to blame you knowing you have nothing to do with them, so it's clearly THEIR issue b. Grow up and find someone/something else to harass (my OWN adult SDs actually turned to helping out with CHARITIES when they couldn't harass me anymore....talk about trying to ward off evil karma....) or c. Completely alienate daddy (as StepAside said) until he has enough "punishment" and dumps you. (which will probably never happen).
I've never been happier since I totally disengaged from my three SDs. Nothing I could ever do/say could make them happy, and it was very depressing at first. Now, of course, I know THEY have the issues, and I, personally choose to be with HAPPY UPBEAT people than their sorry miserable a$$es.
Good luck!!
I agree. I wondered if maybe
I agree. I wondered if maybe it was a tactic they are using to get under their father's skin with. They feel that they hold a lot of power over him. I actually think that control factor started when he was having issues with their mother. He would come home from work and take them out of the house to town, short trips, to get them "away from their crazy mom who didn't treat them well". I think they were using their parent's poor relationship as a weapon to work their parents against each other back then, and now they are trying to do the same kind of thing between him and I even though they are adults now.
You are right on with that
You are right on with that one...
That's how my adult Ds were their whole life. They played "mommy" against "daddy" (the whole thing sounds like they all lived a three ring circus), and when the parents split it was even worse.
By standing your ground, you are telling them that you will NOT get involved in the games. Good for you. If they want to keep their bio parents on a roller coaster and they allow it, their loss.
For me, it was way too stressful. My own kids would never act like his ADULT "kids", so I had no idea what was going on. I had to let go or I would have lost my mind, really!!
I'm so with you, Maux... I
I'm so with you, Maux...
I was always a very upbeat, positive person and I always got along well with young women. So, like you, when I was DESPISED just because I was ALIVE, I had no idea what to do about it.
I HAD to get out of the cycle of madness or I would have lost my mind. I've never been happier since I've adopted the "Not my kid" attitude (and the sorry part is that they are NOT kids, they are 31, 30, and 27 year old women). Luckily, they haven't bothered us in a while, so hopefully the crazy days are over.
And if they DO start up again, I'm GOOOONNNNNNE!!!! Let daddy deal with it. I don't need the stress.
Your last line says it
Your last line says it best...
Don't engage with people who have no respect for you.
They don't deserve your TIME, nor your POSITIVE ENERGY. Let them all go flock on an island somewhere and BITCH and MOAN til their lips fall off for all I care. Just don't try to drag ME down with your negative crap!!!
I think I'm gonna make a bumper sticker out of your last line!! (Or just frame it on my desk!!) THANKS!!
StepAside, I've been saying
StepAside, I've been saying this same thing about my adult step children for a long time now. They are not the kind of people I would be around if given a choice. I've told my husband that. Now, after the last few days of hell (we had to turn the ringer and the answering machine off at home tonight as the phone was ringing non-stop with the middle daughter calling, had to turn my husband's work cell off, and...so far they haven't figured out my work cell phone number, so I was able to leave that phone on for anyone in my family that might have an emergency or something) he appears to be sick and tired of the crap they are putting us through. And, everyone's comments are correct, those children are trying to make him pay because of their parents divorce some odd 13 years ago.
I have no clue if he is
I have no clue if he is telling them that their behavior is out of line or not. Probably not. My guess is that he is trying to reason with them, which doesn't work. I guess this is why I have always been the bad person here, as I have always been clear when they are out of line, but then I stopped because there seemed to be no way to get the point across and my DH wouldn't stick up for me in front of them. It has really been aweful watching this grown, older man sit there and just take their crap. They tag team him. It was worse when they all lived at home, but now they seem to be gearing up again. Full speed ahead... Makes life miserable for our younger kids that we have together and makes life miserable for us.
I wonder if just what you are
I wonder if just what you are describing above, did in fact happen with my DH and my stepkids. I always suspected he might have agreed with them, or tried to pacify them. Either way, it was bad.
StepAside....I agree
StepAside....I agree completely. I would never in a million years be friends with the type of adults the skids have become. I was brought up under the assumption that "you are, or will become, who you hang out with", and it's a pretty true statement. These are not "people" I would never socialize with, go to dinner with, or invite into my home. Yet, because they were "his" children I made exceptions. WHAT a mistake! Every visit was very stressful for me - - DH was oblivious as he sat on the couch and I did all of the cooking, cleaning, entertaining. I got to hear about their baby-daddy drama, new piercings, new tattoos, and all of BM's family who is in and out of rehab, etc. They are pure trash. The day I disengaged was the day I was re-born! Of course, now I, too, am hearing that I am the reason that everyone stays away. Ummmm....no....they stay away because they are not INVITED here until they can clean up their act! And, quite frankly, DH doesn't have a clue how to entertain his own children. He has no relationship with them other than them saying, "Blah blah blah" and him watching TV while they are trying to talk to him. Yes....the holidays will be an adventure! :0)
Eyes Wide Open-you describe
Eyes Wide Open-you describe what I have been doing for years! Every holiday I have cleaned, cooked, entertained, listened and put up with their crap and have been miserable. It is time to break free from them and start living our own lives and them living their own lives.