Drained
After what's happend over the last couple weeks I don't think I can handle all of this anymore.
FH doesn't have a game plan for how to handle anything and SS will be at our house in a few days. Fh hasn't had a talk with MIL so that they are on the same page with the changes. MIL is too busy saying "POOR SS" to think about how SS screwed up again by HIS choice and has nothing to do with BM being a raging psycho bitch. I have said all that I can say to them and made lots of suggetions - I don't think anything is going to change.
I am emotionally drained. I want to be supportive to Fh just as I have for the last few years but how can I support him when I feel like he isn't DOING ENOUGH. I don't think I can be happy if things don't change. Everyone is becoming so sad and miserable because no one can take control of the situation. I know I can't live like this and I know if I have to TRY to pretend to be happy amongst all the drama I'm going to start resenting all of them. I don't think I'm cut out for any of this. I love FH but I'm starting to wonder if I can marry him if this is the way its always going to be.
I feel like a a$$hole for saying that. I love FH, FSS and family so much. I'm not strong enough for this.
- Happyhippos242's blog
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Comments
Happy, it sounds like it
Happy, it sounds like it might be time for you to disengage.
"I want to be supportive to Fh just as I have for the last few years but how can I support him when I feel like he isn't DOING ENOUGH." --> I can totally relate to this statement. I always thought that my DH should be doing more, doing things different, doing everything MY WAY. What I forgot is that SS is DH's kid, not mine.
SS is not your son. I know that you care for him and that you want a better childhood for him, but this is something your FH and BM must address in whatever way they choose (even if they choose to just ignore the problems).
I know it sucks. I know it's not fair to SS. It's not fair to you either. You need to start thinking about whether or not you can stand by FH's side for the next 6 years while he continues to parent SS in a way that you don't necessarily agree with.
It is possible to love FH and SS yet disengage from all of their drama. Disengagement is what saved my marriage to DH. It helped me let go of all the resentment I held for so many years. It also helped me get past all the things about SS that I didn't like so that I could learn to love him again.
(((hugs)))
JASM, I am soooo thankful
JASM, I am soooo thankful that your out there!
You're right. You're sooo right. You've been there and you know exactly how I'm feeling. I have to remove myself from it to keep my sanity.
If only I didn't like SS maybe this would be easier, but I love SS and FH. I have a lot of thinking to do about what I am willing and able to live with. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a SM or a DW. :?