How do I disengage?
FH forwarded another text from BM to me. It was a picture of her arm that had red and pink blotches on it. The text read:
"c my red arm! Thats from our son hitn me after i hit him 4 sayn f*ck u 2 his sister bout askn 2 empty the dishwasher".
He sends me this to seek emotional support and guidance and he asks for my opinion but in the end he isn't going to take any suggestions - even the ones he thinks are right on. He will handle things like he always does.
I don't know how to disengage and be supportive at the same time. HOW do I disengage when I still have to know whats happening? How do I stop stressing over all of this? I can't just tell FH not to talk to me about this stuff can I?
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But how do I make my self
But how do I make my self stop caring about SS and stop worrying all the time? I don't know hoe to shut that off. I cry all the time. I'm not sleeping. The whole family is stressed. IDK how to not worry about it.
Thanks for your responses. I
Thanks for your responses.
I think I have slowly gotten very good at ignoring the BM and trying not to let her get to me. It's the problems with SS that stress me out, ESPECIALLY when I have to hear about the physical abuse. I really wish DCF would get involved now that all the drama happened at school. I wish I could call CPS. I'm trying so hard to tell myself its none of my concern but FH makes it my concern and wants me involved in what happens with SS.
I will figure it all out someday. I hope.
It is tough. I would
It is tough. I would respond. I'm sorry honey.... what are you going to do?
No suggestions. Just support.
We recently had SD call us at 1:30 am on a school night because BM was knocking her around. Spit in her face, kicked her, pulled her around the house by the hair. DH removed skid from the house with all her belongings... BM allowed him. 2 months later.... SD17 was crying and wanting to go back home. BM convinced her that it was just PMS...and it would not happen again. SD17 missed her friends, and old school and announced she was GOING HOME. We tried to get a protective order but were denied as there were no police reports, etc... or pics.... So BM came and picked up SD17 and she is back into the situation.
My advice to DH.... that is the end. We will do anything more than call the police if we get another call like that again. (BM has 3 other little children from another Father in her house.)
Broke our hearts... but... when SD17 wants to go back to it... what can you do?
Good Luck.
I am so appreciative that
I am so appreciative that someone else can relate. Thanks for sharing your story and perspective. You're right - what can I do? NOTHING. I will probably still blog here until I can get the emotional response to the stress under control but I am not going to offer advice or suggestions anymore. Generic responses of support are all I will give FH.