Easiest setting to deal with skids?
We have skids this weekend.
On the Tues/Wed before we have them I start trying to plan things to keep us away from home during the time they're here. I don't care what or where it is. I just dread the idea of being home with them there. I've found that it's better to be out somewhere. Maybe it's because when we're home I feel like I've lost control of my own home. Maybe if we're in the car or if they are doing some activity it's easier to tune them out. Maybe it keeps them from constantly having to be hanging on daddy.
So here I am trying to find any excuse to go away anywhere this weekend. I've run out of places and reasons to be away and I'm getting desperate for excuses to not just stay home. The truth is, if they weren't going to be here there's nothing I'd rather do than just stay home this weekend but with them there it won't be peaceful, my sanctuary is turned into a madhouse.
Does anyone else feel this way?
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A lot of the time. And mine
A lot of the time. And mine are teenagers. I just can't relax when they are here. Last weekend I hid in my bedroom as much as possible. I try and plan for DH to bring them out if possible.
Now we are discovering that there are issues between my kids and his and I'm freaking out. I feel like I will have to make sure my kids and I are out of the house when his kids come over. I hate this.
I know exactly what you
I know exactly what you mean.
I've spent more time locked up in my room the last 3 times they were here than I have ever spent up there. It's really starting to get to me.
I have to change my attitude and take control of my home again. I just don't feel up to the fight right now.
I can't give you any advice,
I can't give you any advice, but i do hope you enjoy your weekend!
P.A. I feel like this all the
P.A. I feel like this all the time. Up until last weekend, we had a trailer that we went to every weekend. Now that it is closed up, I'm dreading the "home visits". You know, the feeling that you're not allowed to suggest anything that only involves you and your DH/SO etc.
Even watching a T.V. show seems to be taboo, unless it is kid friendly, because you know they won't leave you alone for 1/2 hour or so to even watch it. And it's not just my FDH they hang over/follow...it's both of us. Sometimes there I see a light at the end of the tunnel when the neighbourhood kids knock on the door, but it sure doesn't happen very often.
My kids are older (23 and 26), but I don't remember them being this way. Both of them were and are still very independent.
How old are the SKids? I
How old are the SKids? I really have issue with having two of our SKids in our home (SD17 & SS19), and it was really bad this last weekend when they came because their GP was visiting. I'm very uncomfortable in my own home when they are there, as they are completely disrespectful to me, their father, even their own brother (who is with us 50/50). We actually have to lock our bedroom and bathroom doors to keep them from stealing, and keep our wallets, cell phones, laptops, etc in our room when they are there. Why should we have to do that? Why can't we just tell them they aren't welcome because of their behavior?
I've thought about doing as you've done, and plan things away from home when they come to visit. But I don't like feeling that I'm rewarding them for being total shits, all the while costing me extra money and work.
Stay home, let your husband do all of the work. Be cordial, but find something else to keep you busy. Read a book, work out in the yard, anything to separate yourself from them. Nothing wrong with letting spend the time alone with their father. That helps me somewhat, but then I feel like a loser for allowing them to chase me out of my own home. So far, it's the best solution I've found, tho.
I can't believe that they
I can't believe that they steal from you and are allowed in your home - I would be furious - why won't your DH stop them from coming. If you had a friend who stoled they would no longer be allowed in your home and would not be your friend. If a thief came into your home you would be allowed to shoot them - they are adults and need to stay out of your home. If they steal they need to be reported to the police. I feel for you because this is criminal and you DH should not make you put up with it.
Have you strip searched BM
Have you strip searched BM yet? lol!!
Okay I am cracking up AD -
Okay I am cracking up AD - those bras are not coming back - take your DH's money and get some new ones girlfriend!
Would you even WANT them back
Would you even WANT them back at this point?
Yeah, I can't believe it
Yeah, I can't believe it either. It's something we need to have a big talk about. This Sunday specifically, when his kids showed up at the last minute, one of them completely strung out, I was absolutely livid! He should have been turned away at the door in that condition, but DH felt badly that their Grandpa had come all that way and they hadn't made an attempt to visit with him until now. So, like the good wife, I added more settings to the dinner table and fed them. I was cordial, but kept my distance. I told DH that I did not want them staying the night, that they must go back to his mother's (5 minutes away) and he agreed. Both SKids left after dinner and cake, then reappeared at 11:30 with grocery bags of clothes for the next day (that needed to be laundered). He let them in
YES I CAN DEF RELATE.THE
YES I CAN DEF RELATE.THE HOUSE CAN DEF GET OUT OF CONTROL WITH ALL THE KIDS.IT TRULY DOES HELP TO GET THEM OUT AND IN THE OPEN AIR.BECAUSE JST LIKE U MAY FEEL...THEY WANT THE "SOMETHING TO DO.."kEEP THE PEACE!!..DEPENDING ON THERE AGES I TAKE MY BIO SON AND SKIDS TO THE PARK OR A KIDSPLEX HERE IN OUR TOWN.MAYBE PLAN A NICE WALK EVEN..OR BIKE RIDE.ANYTHINGTO FEEL IN THE GAPS.N KEEP EVERYONE STRESS FREE!
I feel the same way; I have
I feel the same way; I have my SD13 FT; and I feel uncomfortable in my own house. I try to escape to my room but since - for now, our room has the computer -there she sits. I absolutely hate it.
Get that computer out of your
Get that computer out of your room! You need to have your own private space. Either get a second computer to out in a family area, move the one you have, or set a very specific schedule of times that it can be used.
There are things that I
There are things that I always enjoyed that they have completely ruined for me. I'm not saying it's all their fault. Let me rephrase - There are things I enjoyed that are now ruined for me because of things that have happened involving them.
I LOVED my Wii balance board/wii fit. I was using it faithfully every day and seeing results. Skids took it over, scattered my workout stuff that I had neatly stored with the wii fit and it was a huge blowup. Now I can't stand to look at it.
OK, I'm not going to get started listing all the things that have been ruined for me. It will only make me more sad. Suffice it to say there have been lots of things I used to enjoy that I no longer find pleasurable.
I totally get it. My aunt and
I totally get it. My aunt and cousin make their own jams and I so want to try making my own too... but BM has made marmalade before (insert big fanfare here)and the minute I walk into the kitchen, SD's are in behind me, "What are you doing?", "Can we help too?", "Our mom does it this way"... It's not worth it.
When my two teenage
When my two teenage stepdaughters visited on weekends, it was always always always screaming fits from one of them. Always demanding money money money, car, cell phone, clothes because daddy owed it to her because she had ISSUES from their divorce 10 years before. I'm talking about screaming - cussing - you sorry mf - daddy owes me fits. During that time of my life, I worked so much overtime on weekends just to get away. I would leave home before dawn and get home after dark. I then took the money and went on a cruise with some friends-just women leaving all the husbands and kids behind. (Of course they got mad about that too)
I was able to buy all kinds of extra things for myself that year.
But, they have all grown up now and things do change over time. SHe treats me decent now. But now, the screaming sd has a screaming daughter of her own.
The only thing that bugs me
The only thing that bugs me is that dh for some odd reason thinks his kids are mature enough to go to bed when he says and he goes to bed leaving them up. I can't sleep when they are up they are loud and run around the house and destroying it. Other than that I dont; have a problem. Oh and they do not go to bed when dh tells them to either. He will get up at 2 or 3 in the am and they are still up! Boogles my mind why he just doesn;t tell them to go to bed when he does.
That's something that bugs
That's something that bugs me, too. He'll not make them go to bed when we do, then I lay there all night listening to them opening/closing cupboards, the fridge, the pantry, etc. Last Sunday when he let the druggie/thief kids stay the night against my wishes, I woke him up and made him go downstairs to see what they were doing and send them to bed. I was so completely pissed off that I actually dressed and headed out the door, telling him that I can't sleep with them in the house. He promised me that it would never happen again, and that he would stay home with them the next day so they weren't alone w/o anyone in the house. It didn't happen. He sent me an email at work around 10am saying he had to leave them, but that he locked our bedroom and bathroom doors (like that makes it OK). I'm still seething.
Yes I know exactly what you
Yes I know exactly what you mean the only problem is my dh has full custody of my sd so we have her 5-6 days a week and then she goes to his parents on friday nights. So everynight its a job trying to come up with something to do that is away from the house. I can't believe there is actually someone out there that agrees with me and thinks the same thing. I have actually tried talking to my husband and he just thinks there is something wrong with me. I just can't stand being at home with her. I am fine as long as there is organized activity going on. . . just can't have any downtime. If we have down time we can't just sit and watch tv or talk or read anything its interuptions 24/7 he trying to push us apart and get in the middle of us he whining about something, he only wanting to eat junk, not respecting the rules. I love the kid dearly but it just seems like if we are doing something organized it will prevent the whole fight and ruined night.