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My step hell is coming to an end.

Stepinsanity's picture

Submitted by Stepinsanity on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 10:44am

After doing some deep thinking and replies to some of my recent blogs on here I have made my decision. Can't really say it was a hard one to make but it definately wasn't easy. With the recent issues with my bio daughter I know that me leaving dh is the best thing for her. I would leave today but I have to wait till I have a couple of full checks under my belt lol. I know that the moment I accepted my decision I immediately felt better. There is light at the end of this darkness and I'm finally almost there. I know it's going to be hard because I love dh, but my daughters well being is more important to me. I am going to start looking for another councilor this week for my daughter because I don't want her to continue going to the same one with the skids. The day I load that last box is going to be the best day of my life since this nightmare began. I will probably still be posting on here for awhile because I know I'm still going to be getting frustrated as hell since it's not going to be until the middle of October till we move out. Good luck to everyone who will still be going through this nightmare for years to come.

Comments

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 11:34am

I so wish you luck and wish I would have done the same if husband and I would not have children together.

Stepinsanity's picture

Submitted by Stepinsanity on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 12:00pm

Thanks. I really wonder WTF I was thinking when I was thinking it would be ok to date dh even though he had kids. We met online through a dating sight and even though in the beginning I said I eouldnt date someone with kids, I still went out with him. The next time around I am sticking to my guns besides the fact that I'm not even going to consider dating till after my daughter is on her own. Guess I can chalk this up to a lesson learned and just hope that I'm getting out soon enough that my daughter will come out of this ok.

Holly008's picture

Submitted by Holly008 on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 12:25pm

You sound like you are in the same place I am. The difference is that both BS and SD are grown and not living with us. I dont even blame SD for whats going on. The root of my issues with DH is drinking and the control his parents have on him. Even after I told him that he is neglecting our marriage, he just left, in the middle of the only day we have off together to go see them. He does not invite me to go anymore, I dont want to anyway. I made my mind up a week ago. I am done being a doormat.
Need to discuss the issues we will both be facing in the next 30 days and after, I am right here Smile

Stepinsanity's picture

Submitted by Stepinsanity on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 12:57pm

Thank you. I know this next month is going to be stressful as hell but at least I know this will soon be over and I can start on damage control with my daughter. First thing Tuesday going to get her with a new councilor so things can start getting better for her. I have also decided to move near my sons naval base within the next 6-9 months because I think getting to be around her brother more will help her alot. She is really close to him and I know being near him will be a good influence for her.

Stepinsanity's picture

Submitted by Stepinsanity on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 12:49pm

I haven't told him yet because I have got to make sure I'm getting a full check before we move out. I'm already going to have to stay with my mother so don't want to have to go there and be broke. Things are tight enough financially for her and her husband so they shouldn't have to support us too. Thankfully I just started a new job, one that I can work at from home so my stress-rash outbreaks won't keep me from working. It's going to make things stressful around here havin to pretty much act like things are normal for another month. Even though I'm not telling dh yet, I am going to be working on things towards helping my daughter now and for getting ready for the move. I will also get the divorce papers drawn up so when I tell him he will know I'm serious and I can get this nightmare behinds us faster.

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 2:56pm

Good luck Stepinsanity. I got out of my situation too...it's not easy as I love my exbf but I do not want to deal with the drama and dysfunction of his daughter, mother, and BM. I've had a lot of stress this past year unrelated to my step situation but I can tell you, even though I feel lonely and worried that I'm going to end up some crazy, old, cat lady my house is mine and the only problems I have to deal with are the ones directly under my control.

Hugs to you and PM me anytime.

WHERESMYWART's picture

Submitted by WHERESMYWART on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 4:07pm

I know this could not have been an easy decision as a change the size of this one never is. I wish I had your courage. I love my husband but sometimes I wish I could do things over. Good luck in all that you do. I envy you your new found freedom from drama.

mommylove's picture

Submitted by mommylove on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 1:24pm

Completely understand this one as I recently arrived at the same decision using the same resources as you did (this site!) as well as counseling with H and individually. Only my situation is more complicated because I am going to need a longer period of time (until the end of the year) to get my ducks in a row since mine will involve having to put H out (he lives in MY house have I owned before we married), and we also have 2 children together - our BS1 and my BS6 who H has been "Daddy" to since BS6 was only 10 mos.

And yes, the day I came to my decision it did lift a heavy weight off my shoulder, even if it's not taking place immediately and I am sad because I still love my H. However, I do know that is best for everyone, including BS6 and myself, and even H that we move on with our lives separately.