Open House Invite
DH received a text from bm inviting us to school open house. one tiny little problem dh can't make it. Do I dare go it alone?! Knowing that possibly bio grandma and maybe even bioauntie will be there! It could be three against me! I'm not worried really, cause I can hold my own, but I hate it when they go off topic and start discussing things that have nothing to do with kids. They always want to talk about dh & bm past relationship, what dh should or should not be doing, comparing him to their ex's, telling me what hard life bm has, then the kicker is always when they say they "love me"!!! I want to vomit!!! I think I sometimes do in my throat!!! it's relentless, regardless of what I say they continue.
Not sure if I want to go through the motions, but I should probably do it for the girls. Any advise besides the obvious of telling them to shut the f up that it's not the place and their will never be a time I would like to discuss that crap!
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If it's important that you go
If it's important that you go (which it sounds like it is) then I would suggest you take a deep breath, try to get what you can out of the open house and as little from them as possible and have some wine ready for when you get home.
I know it's annoying to have to listen to that sort of garbage and not be able to say anything, but IMO it's one of those situations where it becomes as big of an issue as you let it. It's easier said than done, but don't give them that much power over your emotions - smile, laugh inside about how sad it is that they need to pull this routine because they have nothing better to do and come vent here later, if need be.
I wouldn't go.....not unless
I wouldn't go.....not unless they find out your dh can't go and specifically ask you. Would be too darn stressful for me.
If y'all are custodial and
If y'all are custodial and your DH can't go, I think you need to be there.
If you are non-custodial and your DH can't go, I wouldn't go unless BM couldn't be there.
Bah, I hate open houses!
Bah, I hate open houses! Biograndparents virtually ignore me, BM and her husband obnoxiously trying to be involved, etc. No bueno.
I wouldn't go unless you have to- I don't think I could do it without my DH.
bm invited both of us. I feel
bm invited both of us. I feel it's important if only to gather information because bm does not communicate all that great about these things. Mostly only calls about wanting $!! I also think it's important to show kids we are really interested and involved in their life other than "just eowe". Which is how they view it (because of pas) right now. I figure I will have that vino at the ready for after and can be the better person. Plus, I think it bothers them that afterall the say and do to me and dh that I'm still here. I'm like Teflon!!! lol
I agree with momof5. If you
I agree with momof5. If you aren't custodial then don't go. Or if dh hasn't even suggested you go alone, then don't. Howeverit seems you have already made up your mind about going. If you do go, then you don't have to be there WITH bm. Don't meet her there or wait for her or anything. Most open houses are come and go. If it starts at 6, get there a little later. Meet the teacher, get he info, say hi to the kids and leave. You don't even have to be on thesame side of the room as her. Just note that you being there without dh might cause problems and make bm angry.
I wholeheartedly agree!! I've
I wholeheartedly agree!! I've own my own business for many years and have had to be in many meeting rooms with people I could care less about. I am up for the adventure and mostly sending the message. We are not primary but we are very involved...still working on modification of schedule. Anyway, bm invited both...dh can't make it...I plan on going because I really live the girls and because I don't want her to feel like she has the upper hand becausewe didn't make the effort. I work my own schedule these days, so it would not be right if I didn't go because I can coordinate my work schedule accordingly. Bm doesn't know that fact, but I do andcits all that matters to me that I make the effort. I think the girls will love it. Especially since they are starting to understand dad and I are a team.
I have made up my mind. Dh
I have made up my mind. Dh and i discussed and we think it would be good to get info and introduce outself tho on this nite me. We would like school and kids to that we are interested, bm has made it out to be we are not. Dh will let bm know I will be there and possibly dh will not because of work, but he will try. As far as arriving early or late, I will pick earlier rather than later because bm is always 45 minutes late to everything. Maybe as you said I can get in get out!!