I feel lyke a cant be a stepparent...now that its to late! What do i do?
i feel like i cant put up with being a stepparent and ive barely started! i dont lyke the fact of having a child that's not mine coming over so i have to always be nice and go out of my way, She's not my daughter she's my H and BM daughter...i feel lyke ill always be the other woman, my SD is only 3yo and ive only met her once and right after that my H had a DNA test done cuz he never had one done for her and she come out his! well i think...the judge that stepped in and said that they got his SS (which was said wasnt his)and SD DNA test mixed up (i think something went wrong) cuz My H is mexican and his BM is white with blkish hair "their child" Has bright red hair and baby blue eyes and white ass skin and looks nothing lyke him!! IDK Now im just trying to accept being a SP to this little girl he barely knows cuz he barely sees her cuz of the army and i barely know! And my first experince with SD was not fun at alll cuz she didnt wont to get to know me at all...and i think its mainly b/c she doesnt see him alot so she was just stuck on him the whole time making it even more diffcult for me and i felt out of place!! And ill be honest i really didnt think she was his child! but he is getting another test just to be sure nothing got confused. cuz when the 2nd DNA test was done for her again is came up neg. and he called and asked BM "did you know she was mine or not?" and she told him "i dont know?" and then when i see his SD and BM for me it will be lyke a constant reminder of how he was with her and having sex with her and had a baby with her! and what really sucks is the one time he didnt use a condom with her was the one time he got her pregnant! and then he tells me he never loved her and she was known for being a hoe but he never listened to anyone until it was basicly to late cuz now he has a child with her for the rest of his life that i have to deal with! and he hates his BM but yet he was having sex with her to have a child with her right?!! but she didnt believe in abortions so he has to deal with it the rest of his life right?! having a child with a woman he never wanted too! its rediculous...this is all i think about from day to day and other things too
But it really sucks b/c this is how i feel and i feel bad for feeling this way and i cant help my self. the more i try not to think about it the more i do! and it makes me so aggervated and depressed! then i feel lyke i dont want to talk to H or be around him, i dont know what to do with myself i think its going to drive me crazy! :jawdrop:
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That sounds like a whole big
That sounds like a whole big mess. I know where you are coming from partially. I dealt with baby mama drama for YEARSSSSSSSSS and it wears at you. My SS just came to live with me, my H and my daughter and I feel like I am not cut out for this too. I get sometimes to the point that i don't even wanna sit by him and for no reason. I just feel annoyed. Things happen in the house, like him teasing my daughter, breaking her toys and lieing about everything and it just gets on my nerves. His dad doesn't see all of this stuff and I do and it's driving me crazy right now too. I feel bad b/c I feel like U too, but you can't help it. You are NOT alone in feeling that way. Most people just don't say it out loud. I want things to go back to the way they were. I've dealt with drama with BM for years and I feel like I have no more room for more. That is prob why I feel the way I do. I am drained. I actually get chest pains from being annoyed so much that I get to the point that I think about divorce, but I love my H that I couldn't do that. But then you feel like your stuck. I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM.
weve been married for 6
weve been married for 6 months...and no he took care of SD when she was first born for a few months until he join the army, then he wouldnt see her for 5 to 6 month at a time or even more. And i was going to wait to marry him until everything was done with all the DNA test and all. but i love him so i didnt wait. And now that i think about SD and BM and H and basicly all of it i feel lyke a cant be her stepparent, i thought i could do it before but now i feel totally different!!
im just pretty damn sure that this will make alot of problems for us in the future. and he trys to tell me that all the things i think is going to happen, wont happen! Ex: ill never have to deal with her BM!? and going to her Bday party at her BM house or other places!? he says he doesnt go to those parties with her family and at her house!! lyke hello thats ur daughter right why wouldnt you? and when he picks her up he doesnt have to talk to BM cuz he hates her!? im lyke hello you have to talk to her thats your daughters mom right?! he says all this things lyke its never going to back fire on him but it will cuz all the things hes not doing now...he'll have to eventually do it in the future otherwise he'll have problems!! With BM and SD
So hes basicly making me all these promises that he cant keep and i know he cant...got to go to work! ill be back OH thank u MoMo for your comment!