You are here

Oh, the drama... and guilty parenting by DH

3bk1sd's picture

SD came again this weekend, it was her birthday on Friday and she wanted her present, of course!
It was DH's friends birthday yesterday, they grew up together and this friend has helped us out a great deal when we were looking at houses. We haven't seen him lately just due to being busy with work and family.
His wife invited us to come over for a "party". Where we live that usually involves a bon-fire and lots of alcohol. We thought we should at least go for a short time and took all 4 kids with us.
At about 10pm the party (imo) turned into an "adults only" party. Everyone was either quite drunk or well on their way. The guys sitting around the fire started discussing sex and if it was better to do it with the lights on or off as well as other adult conversation (I wasn't really paying attention). I told DH we should probably get the kids home and he agreed that it was a good time to leave.
DH's friend had parked his travel trailer just behind the fire and the kids were sitting in it with the door opened so they could see/hear everything that was going on. It was mentioned that no one would need to drive home as there was lots of room in the trailer. We were not drinking and we live a 10 minute drive away so we started toward the van, SD(12) says "Daddy, BS(10) and I want to stay and sleep in the trailer". DH said "No, get in the van". SD started screaming "I hate you, you're so mean" and crying and yelling at him. So what did DH do? He said he wanted to talk to me in private. We went over by the van and he said "Why can't they stay?" I said "I don't care if SD stays or not, that's not my problem, BS is not staying. There will not be any supervision and what if there was an emergency, there are no responsible adults to deal with it. What if the drunk adults stumble into the trailer and light cigarettes in bed and burn down the trailer. Not to mention the stories the kids would be hearing as they drift of to sleep." To this DH said "Oh, but SD really wants to stay". I said "Let her then, I really don't care but BS is coming with us so I will know that he's safe". DH then gave me a disgusted look and told SD to get in the van.
After the kids were in bed and we were sitting down to relax for a few minutes I said "I'm curious how your mind works, why did you think it would be ok for the kids to stay there, just because SD said she hated you and was crying?" He said "You were right, ok, you know you were right."
Of course I was right, and I did talk to my son and he understood, in fact he never really even wanted to stay with a bunch of drunk adults. I just hate the fact that it looks to SD that I am the one that wrecked her fun yet again.

Comments

3bk1sd's picture

"He needs to have his head examined!"

Yes he does, when SD starts screaming and crying all his common sense leaves. I should say that the people at the party are all people that we know very well and they wouldn't intentionally do any harm to the kids. My concern was that they would be partying and not supervising the kids. Of course their language and stories are also colorful when they're drinking.

stepkate's picture

I'll be honest, I had no problem with BF's daughter thinking that I was more strict than her dad. For one, I am. Secondly, maybe she would be less likely to try to pull the same crap on me that she did with him.

I liked to think of my self as a big 'detour sign' for BS. 'Sorry, stepkate Street is closed to all whiny traffic today. Please take your nonsense to Daddy Drive''.

3bk1sd's picture

I liked to think of my self as a big 'detour sign' for BS. 'Sorry, stepkate Street is closed to all whiny traffic today. Please take your nonsense to Daddy Drive''.

LOL
She didn't ask me though, she asked "Daddddyyyy". He would have let her but I was not leaving my son there.

3bk1sd's picture

I have let the hope of us ever liking each other go too. Why do I always have to be the "bad guy" though? After 5 1/2 years of the bs I am down to the same expectations as you.
1) no money will be given out other than cs unless we both agree and extra money will never be spent on clothes or shoes, that is what cs is for.
2) she has to act respectfully or she will either go back to her crazy mother or go to her room.
3) she needs to clean up after herself. (This one doesn't happen very often).