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In relation to summerflowers post....

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 11:30am

Sunflower made a very good point! For most people Smile And I agree totally, but what about ppl in my situation? Where BM admits that she wants my BF back, she has a bf of her own, texts my BF every week about how she misses him, blows up his phone, calls to ask how his sick grandma is doin the other day, and BF looks at me with complete annoyance and hands the phone to the kids... ??? Then BM askes to put their dad back on, and BF says "I will have the kids call tomorrow, bye"
Like BM doesn't get it!!! So when I have my days and feel like bitching to BF I think I have every right... Altho its mostly BM doing everything, BF still allows it..

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Moon Child Step Mom's picture

Submitted by Moon Child Step Mom on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 11:42am

I don’t know what advice to give… Mother Russia tried to get DH back when they initially broke up (I think because she was jus terrified of being alone!) but since then she’s really come to see how bad they were for each other and that she’s much happier with him out of her house. They get along much better now than they did when they were married… and when he does have to talk to her I never feel threatened by it.

But she’s not saying things like “I miss you” to him… that would make me absolutely crazy!!!

Don’t “bitch” to your BF though… it’s not his fault… even if he’s told her to stop it he can’t regulate her behavior. He can only control his own… and as long as he’s not feeding into it it’s really not his fault. I really don’t know what to say other than maybe trying to be more secure in your relationship with him.

And maybe having a little talk with her yourself… Wink
I’d be ready to kill…

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 11:57am

She's such a jerkoff. Can't you text her back pretending to be DH and say something like "How many times have I told you that I have no interest in you? If you keep sending me these texts I'm going to file a harassment complaint!" Most BM's FEAR the law. I know ours does.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:01pm

back in the beginning BM would cause serious drama daily, calling and cussing dh out in front of the kids.... then out of the blue she writes dh a letter ~~ telling him how sorry she was and how she wants to make things right and then she used the kids and how she just thinks about dh and misses him so much when she looks into skids eyes, blah blah blah.... we read it, laughed about it and within a day, she was calling cussing him out again over something irrelevant.

i do agree that you should not bitch so much at bf over bm ~~ it only makes you the bad guy, too.... and personally, if i left one person i would think real hard about staying with another that bitches at me all the time especially over the problem person i left to start with. try to look at it from his side and say things like "do you think she'll ever get a life and leave you alone?" something not confrontational but demeaning to a degreee to bm.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:02pm

Moonchild, I've been wanting to say something to her.. Badly! But a part of me thinks that will feed her, and she will be happy, and continue to do so.. Second, she would say something to BF about it, and I don't want to start that fight.. Me and BF had been over this and over this.. Its like we take 3 steps forward, and then 2 back... Its so stressful. I know BM totally gives him the guilt trip thru their children.. I talked to BFs brother today, he said BM has always been a liar and a manipulator! And I'm sure she has been feeding BF bs for who knows how long, she plays him like a puppet to get what she wants... "Well I need this so that the kids can...." And shit like that... I'm so annoyed at times, its hard to not get upset, maybe cause not much on that subject has changed?

Moon Child Step Mom's picture

Submitted by Moon Child Step Mom on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:10pm

dguiwh2334… I’m so sorry she’s such a creep.

I think you’re right about her using it against you of you challenged her on it… and you never want to give them more ammunition. It is very hard to live happily with your man when you have such a drama queen barking in the background all the time… even worse is thinking you’re stuck with it for 18 years or more. If you truly love that man… just try real hard to be the calm little center of his universe. You’ll look like an angel up against barking betty!!! Good luck darling… and bitch here rather than at home! It’s what we’re here for! Wink

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:18pm

Moonchild, I know.. I try very hard.. And ladies, I'm not always bitching at him Smile Its only once in a while.. And it just hurts cause I feel that BM comes first, and I've said before on here that I do have some issues with trust.. I'm sure we all do.. But the fact that BM constantly texts "I miss you"s to him all the time, it makes my skin boil!! And just live BFs brother said today "I can guarantee you if you had an ex sending you those messages, he would be pissed and not stand for it!"
So... In all honesty, am I wrong for being offended? For feeling that BF allows it to continue? I love BF and we have come so far, I just want the un-needed texting and calls from her to END!

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 1:05pm

Tiredprincess09, I sure hope it stops.. 9 yrs?! And your BM is still at it... Now I'm scared Sad I just get worried, BF always says he will never ever go back to BM.. He even says if we broke up he would NOT go back to her for any means.. Before he and I hooked up he was about to be moving into an apartment.. So I guess I can believe that he wouldn't go to her... I think I just give doubt at times when BM pulls this shit. In all honesty I think my primal fear is BF leaving me, and going to her.. So I think I feed off of that in my mind when things happen..