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I KNOW WHERE BM'S $$$$ GOES!

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 8:40am

So literally every time we pick up the skids, the girls have brand new outfits.. And this morning their school was cancelled and SHOCKER sd's have brand new clothes on. Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad scanky bm gets the kids clothes, but is it really necessary to buy them new clothes EVERY day?!?! Perhaps this is why bm NEVER has money to buy food and feed them?! Like last wknd we picked the kiddos up late (around 9 pm) so we get home around 10 pm and all 3 skids say " I'm hungry!!" Well did you guys eat dinner? "No, we haven't ate since our school lunch". NICE. And if we pick them up in the early afternoon, no breakfast or lunch.. Like wtf?? Do you feed your children bm? Anyhow, I also get ticked cause bm hardly buys ss any clothes.. And bm is totally having the sd's dress like her!!! Its horrific! No bm, sd4 doesn't need to wear a mini skirt with sweater leggings that come up to her knees looking like a 4 year old street walker, BF actually threw that outfit away! Anybody else experience these stupidities from bm?

Comments

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 8:54am

Well, my marketing class tells me that people who shop like this do it because they lack self-worth and they NEED to shop to be important. But the shopping high doesn't last long so they have a need to do it again real soon. I guess buying food doesn't fill that "need" for BM so, its hooker leggings for everyone!! LOL

Our BM buys mostly 24 packs of beer, cigarettes and quarter bags of marijuana... according to ss17. She only buys fish to cook for dinner but otherwise buys no groceries. She buys a lot of makeup because her face looks like a wax figurine in 200 degree heat.

BM tried to sell us sd12s boots one time for $15, probably because she needed cigarette money.

BM doesn't buy clothes for the skids. I think her "needs" are met at the bargain barn liquor store. She got her bedroom mattress from dumpster diving in the trash they were passing by one day. (And she needed that mattress as much time as she spends on her back!)

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:06am

I think it is good that the mom actually spends the money meant for the children on the children. So many think it is theirs to spend on themselves. You should count your blessings.

My ex's x-wife dressed to the 9s while the kids were taken to thrift shops for their clothing. The clothes always looked like highwaters on the poor kids.

My current husband's x actually does spend the CS on the kids. While she may not parent the same as I do, she loves her kids and is a good mom in that arena. She just sucks at sharing them with my husband. She makes it seem like he can only have a "play date" when they are not too busy with after school activities.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:10am

Ok-lol-there is no winning huh...there are complaints everywhere on the board about what the money is spent-this is being spent on clothes and it's not ok? I would not throw away clothes either, return them and ask them to not send that over to your house.

Also-the hungry thing-my kids say they are hungry all the time....they eat a lot all the time. And...I don't know-is 9pm the usual time for pickup for a wknd or were you guys running late? Its possible that the BM was waiting for them to be picked up earlier and fed dinner on your visitation weekend (which makes sense)and it just got later...in which case I would have done a snack or something to hold them over.

Oh but yeah I know TONS of kids that complain about not eating and do eat very well. Do they look malnourished in anyway?

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:11am

I can't stand seeing SD in abercrombie or whatever super expensive bullshit brands are out there right now.I don't know why it gets under my skin so badly but it does.
But I'd still rather see her in new stuff that fits instead of rags that show her belly and her buttcrack.

Some people find dressing well more important than eating well.obviously this bm is one of those.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:12am

Well the kids dad threw away the mini skirt (my dad threw away some of my shorts as a child-pre teen) its his money so I guess that's up to him, neither of us wants the kids dressing like mini BM hookers anywhere.. Our house or bm's. As for ddadcan, bm also buys loads of make up, wine and concert tickets, and bm also has new clothes on every day.. Must be nice. The kids had a pair of shoes in a grocery bag one time when we picked them up (ss stepped in dog shit and instead of lazy BM washing it off, she actually packed them in a bag for us to clean!!) Anyhow it was double bagged and in the one bag there was a walmart receipt so I looked at it.. It consisted of a load of makeup, hair supplies, some clothes, fruit rollups, yogurt, lotion, random crap, juice.. At the bottom showed she paid with her bridge card for the "food" for the kids. BF tells me that BM never cooked (which she admits) all she buys is snacks, her idea of dinner is spagettios.. BFs whole family says bm never cared much about feeding the kids. BF actually worked full time and came home to cook dinner and clean up afterwards! Meanwhile BM whored around, spent all his money and cleaned the house.. Ohh (claps all around).

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:53am

Our BM never cooked -- or shopped for food or cleaned. DH did it ALL while she "worked late."
And now she still never buys food--DH gets calls that there is no food in the house, the "kids" are 18 and 22 now...he tells his son to go to his GM's for dinner.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:57am

Maybe he should tell his son to learn how to cook and cook for himself. Why a mom would still be having to cook for an 18 and 22yr old is crazy to me.

Crappy when they are younger sure-but old enough to vote, drink and be in the service and live your own adult life? Time for DAD to perhaps teach them to cook so they can fend for themselves...in fact maybe he has-but rather then complain about mom not cooking, dad could have taught them to cook at a much earlier age even...

Go to GM's to eat???....just feeds the incompetence cycle.

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 6:45pm

The main issue is there is NO food to eat--he doesn't have a job that pays enough for him to buy groceries, yes he can cook. He is still in HS. This has been happening since he was 14. And she gets CS for him.

reeny511's picture

Submitted by reeny511 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:23am

I hate that BM buys SD abercrombie and aeropostle clothes, because "SD just has to have them!" Whatever precious SD wants she gets. Who cares if you dont have money to pay rent, electric and FOOD. As long as SD has the right clothes - everything must be right in the world!!!!!! I just dont get it.

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:53am

BM in my situation buys "weird" clothing items for the skids -- not things they actually need, but things BM considers to be "cool". They really don't make sense when you consider that we also live in the upper midwest.

- Knee-high hooker heels for SD4 (they make these for kids that little???)
- High-heeled white pumps last spring for SD4 (it was muddy and cold and she was sending her to daycare with these on, then BM got mad when they were ruined)
- Light-up flip flops for SS3 when it was October and only 40 degrees out and threatening snow any day. She'd send him to daycare with these + socks.
- Spiderman slippers for SS3 that she had him wear to daycare about a month ago. No other shoes/boots..and this was when he needed a pair of boots for winter.
- Rather than buying a whole package of socks for SS3, she'll purchase ONE pair at a time, and always the designed kind that have to go with its match. Then she'll complain when that one pair loses a match and say it must be at our house.
- Always sending SD5 to our house in skirts with no leggings or tights in the winter.
- One of those winter hats with a brim for SS3. Its cute, but not warm at all and doesn't stay on his head bc it's a little too small. It doesn't even cover his ears.
- The cheapo knit gloves that cost $1 for both kids rather than actual mittens they can play in the snow with. They both complain that their hands get cold and wet.
- Cute leather-looking "riding" boots for SD5 to wear to school. They'd be fine if it were not snowy out! Every day she complains that her feet get wet and cold (she's in kindergarten -- they play in the snow!).
I could go on and on!

Because of this, we tend to keep things at our house that are actually appropriate. If we buy the stuff and send them with the skids to BM's, they come back with the "weird" version and we never again see the actual item that would be most appropriate again.

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:55am

Maybe you could keep stuff at school? Those poor kids. Slippers in the winter. Doesn't that fall under "neglect"?

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 11:14am

BM seems to walk that line quite often...but always gets away with dumb excuses. Like that she carries SS3 to the door so he didn't actually have to walk in the winter. Forget that I'm 8 months pregnant and the next day when I have to bring him to day care I can't CARRY him back and forth to the door because she couldn't send him with normal shoes or boots! GRRR!

momma_of_many's picture

Submitted by momma_of_many on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:05am

I would be completely thrilled if bm would opt to spend money on clothes, instead of new video games every month. But then, I'd also be thrilled if bm didnt demand that every thing they get for a present be brought to her house. For Christmas, my father bought ALL the kids a Kinect to use at our place, and like clockwork we got a call from bm demanding that if its for the boys then they need to bring it home. Over my dead carcass!!

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:08am

Well that's my whole point!!! We picked the skids up at 9 cause BM was drinking at her friends house and sd4 with her, and sd6 and ss9 were at a friends house playing.. And BM asked us to come later. So, in my opinion she could have fed her children dinner instead of getting drunk... Just my thoughts. Sd6's clothes flood on her, her pants are too short, and she dresses them in tshirts on the winter. Last weekend I sent sd4 home in jeans and a sweater (as it was 20 some degrees out) sd4 returns and says she can't wear that sweater anymore cause her mom said it was "stupid". May I remind you all that BM didn't have money for her rent again this month!! But.. BM and the girls each have 8 new pairs of clothing.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:23am

Steppingup, agreed!!! BM also buys the "cool" clothes and hats.. With the little brim!!! I always try to pull it down over their ears, doesn't work! They have hats and scarves here tho, that fit! And momma-of-many, we make sure hat our stuff stays here, and anything my family or BFs family buys for the kiddos, stays here as well!

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:26am

I have to add that sd4 just walked by me with her pants rolled down at the top (like bm does) so you can actually see the crack of her butt and her belly is showing.. God help me lol

momma_of_many's picture

Submitted by momma_of_many on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:40am

If it helps, I just read an article on Yahoo! that high-waisted jeans are coming back into style.

RaeRae's picture

Submitted by RaeRae on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 10:47am

Bout time. I'm tired of seeing butt cracks everywhere. And with my son on the verge of manhood (11 years, interest in girls, all that good stuff), I don't appreciate butt cracks being exposed to him, either.

MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Wed, 01/19/2011 - 9:32pm

My SD13 doesn't eat before we pick her up either. If she knows we are coming she doesn't get fed. It doesn't matter if we pick her up early, on time, or late I assure you SD13 hasn't eaten. Why feed her dad and MamaBecky will do it! One time I had to pick her up late due to a prior arrangement. It was like 10pm. I headed straight for home and told her that her sister was in bed already so please be quiet when you head up that way and we will see you in the morning. She stood there staring at me. I was like...What!" Shes like I haven't eaten all day. I was like...WHY!?! She says mom didn't make dinner for me because she said you would. Yeah. Niiiiice. PB&J and go to bed....and I bet she told her mom that I wouldn't make her anything for dinner. Ugh. LOL

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Thu, 01/20/2011 - 9:40am

Mamabecky, I get ya there. Its sooo annoying! And when BM does "feed" the kids its.. Yogurt, fruit roll-ups, a hot dog or pizza rolls. SERIOUSLY. That's all she ever does. I cook breakfast every weekend.. Eggs, potatoes and bacon. I make sandwiches or soup for lunch and dinner is a meat, potato or rice and a vegetable and most of the time a salad as well.. And the kids are sooo used to eating BMs garbage they always say " DG, this is the best dinner EVER!!, you are the best cook!!" I appreciate it Smile but its like, really bm? You can't cook for your children who are growing and need nutrition and not junk everyday all day?!