So this is it. My DH said he and I will sit down with SD11 and he will tell her that unless she can treat his wife and her children nicer than she has been she is no longer welcome in our house. I told her that I would take her out on Friday night and buy fabric so I could make her a dress for the end of school dance. She told me that sounded like a great idea except that when she left I found a note from her to me (it was left out for me to find in our playroom). It said that she hated me, it seems that the nicer I try to be the more angry she becomes! Anyway, there will be no dress now, we're not buying one or making one. I know that alot of this is because of BMs jealousy and that she talks badly about us to SD but at almost 12 years old I believe she knows right from wrong and we are all sick of her foolishness.
Thankfully we're going away early saturday and dropping SD at her grandparents house so there will only be a few hours of drama instead of a whole weekend.