Do you think this is Win-Win?
My DH is having skids (9 & 8 ) for 10 weeks during summer. He knows I am not happy about that (I still give them a good care and feed, clean, entertain as a stepm mom). I suggested if he can reduce a little bit, even a week or so, just only this year. But it upset him a lot. DH threw a fit and yelled at me left the house for a couple of hours. He seems he wants to stay entire summer in his parents house to have "quality time" with his kids. He said it is also good for me and "win-win". I am going to miss him and feel very unsecured. It is long -- 10 weeks! He can still commute from his parents house, but he will not have time to see me at all during weekdays. DH wants to play with skids all day or take them somewhere during weekend since there are ONLY 8 weekends for him, 2 weeks are excluded as an exchange time, so I am not sure even he see me without skids.
How about the financial? He (actually, we) still need to pay for the utilities and food and some money to his parents and I am not sure we can afford it.
Should I just take this opportunity and relax and enjoy 10 weeks without skids? I am not sure if I can handle it, being without DH such a long period. To be honest, I am a kind of clingy now from my unsecured feeling. I feel I am abandoned if he leave me for 10 weeks for skids. I am not sure if I can welcome him after 10 weeks with smile. On the other hand, if skids stay 10 weeks with us, it is hell too. I am really scared now when he brings up this, or he just go to pick them up and don't come home and tell me after they arrive his parents house....
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On the surface it sounds like
On the surface it sounds like a win-win... but in the end it's about managing. Separate houses is not managing; running away and avoiding is not managing. Maybe you could work out 8 weeks with the kids and he takes the last two weeks to do special things with his kids? And you will get one on one with yours. The money saved could be used for extras with the kids.
Is grandma/pa a driving force behind this? I ask because they too probably don't get time the grand-kids.
Yes, actually, it is
Yes, actually, it is grandma's idea. MIL wants to keep a relationship, especially with the grand kids of thier divoced son and daughter.
MIL also wants/wanted us to divoce and try to break us up a couple of times last few years. (MIL send emails to DH a couple of times a week) Last week, when DH called her, she said to DH "it seems you don't devoce her yet, so I want to get along with your wife. I will invite you guys to my house"... he told me a few days later. DH said he doesn't care if I go or not, which means he just go by himself.
It sounds like he is really
It sounds like he is really excited about having the kids for the summer, so it probably hurt him that you wanted him to shorten that time. I'm not sure what his kids are like, they may be intolerable, but it's still kind of unfair to ask him to give that up if he is looking forward to it. Is this the only time he spends with the kids throughout the year? If so, you really don't have it too bad, being that you get him to yourself the entire other 42 weeks...In which case I would say that you should apologize and tell him that you want to make it work. I think it would really let him know how much you love him and are committed to him, in that you could tolerate the kids for a few months...
He has his kids, 2 weeks
He has his kids, 2 weeks spring, 10 weeks summer, part of Thanksgiving and part of Christmas and he visits them on their BD and some other time, so he has about 15-16 weeks/year in total.
I didn't expalin what happend in the past. The reason I am not happy their visit is... DH plays favorites with skids and discriminate my kids while skids are here. DH is totally differernt person when skids are here.
We discussed many times about this, but it is getting worse every visit as skids gets older and manipulative. SD9 would do anything to get DH's attention (she broke the laptop last summer, but he scolded 1 min. and kissed her and hugges her and my kids lost a computer).