DH is still paying support on SS that has been with us for 9 months!!!! Help!
If someone could offer me some advice on this serious issue, I would greatly appreciate it.
My husband and I won custody of ss in Septemeber, but he has been with us since June. We have 3 children in the home and with ss it makes 4. DH is refusing to file CS papers on BM. He has recently started working again from being layed off and has taken a signifigant pay cut. I am currently having to pay for medical insurance for everyone as well as the mortgage and other household bills and groceries and as you know it is costly. BM has not purchased clothing or assisted with Health care and DH is still paying CS on an old order because off the lay off. BM refuses to drop the old CS order even though we have SS. What can I do? It is really a financial strain on the household as well as our relationship.
Not to mention BM is not doing her part with the weekend exchanges...
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So, he is paying HER CS and
So, he is paying HER CS and he HAS the child?? Yeah, I would have him file to at least get it stopped.. at a minimum.. Why didnt they amend the CS when they awarded you guys custody? that doesnt even make sense to me.
She should be paying you guys. Good luck.
In our state CS and custody
In our state CS and custody are two separate issues. he has to go to CS court to do that. When he went for his hearing, she did not show up to drop the motion, so they couyld not drop it. They told him to call her and ask her to drop it and when he did, she told him no.
I agree with frustrated.
I agree with frustrated. Why shouldnt she be accountable for supporting her child? He is wrong expecting you to support the child and not expecting his mother to contribute at all.
No...his child, he & BM
No...his child, he & BM support...if he does not agree w/asking for support when she made him pay support there is something really wrong with him. I would give him an option of either file to stop support or drop kid from your insurance & your responsibility...he cannot expect you to pay for his child, and continue to give money to the ex...
I swear some DH's have some major unresolved issues and suck the smoms in...
I told him that and his
I told him that and his answer was, "It doesn't cost you anymore per month to cover one more child." He also told SS that he would not have his mother pay CS. (Something that should not be discussed with children)Now, he is worried about going back on a promise to SS.
How old is your SS?
How old is your SS?
15
15
the cost is not the point.
the cost is not the point. tell him his son is dropped if he cannot do his job as a parent. period.
I would insist he either
I would insist he either file to stop CS or divide the finances. You are not financially or legally responsible for their child.
Some of the best advice I've gotten on this site (besides counseling) is divide the finances. If he won't stop CS, or attempt to - split the account and the bills. He can keep paying the child support if he chooses, but he needs to live up to his responsibilities to you, not her. 1/2 of everything and he needs to provide insurance on his child, not you.
When you try to talk to him about it - how does he respond?
Not very well. He does not
Not very well. He does not bring in enough to divide the finances. liek I stated earlier, I pay the bulk of the bills about 75%. We would have to cut back signifigantly. i just don't think it is fair for me to sacrifice when they aren't. BM jhas not other children in the home.
Are the other 3 kids in the
Are the other 3 kids in the home yours together? Or yours from a previous?
Two of the children are ours
Two of the children are ours and i have a 14 year old from a previous relationship.
Ok, we got custody of SD in
Ok, we got custody of SD in August 2008 but the official papers were filled in November 2008. We had to file a motion to suspend the child supoort while she was there starting august and in november, we asked to lawyer to file a motion to STOP the payments since we had legal costudy. Her BM had nothing to do with it... My DH did it, there is nothing she could have done about it because it did not involve her. Sounds to me like the courts are trying to go for the easy way out. if she calls and tells them to drop, it is gonna save them time and money. If they go with your DH's request only, it will take them time and lots of paperwork. It is possible though...
Good luck
Ami
we were in the exact same
we were in the exact same situation. My ss5 has been living with us since this past august, we got sole custody in october and just got off child support this month. In our state, BM had to give consent, which of course she didnt. We had to take it to court. BM did not show up, DH signed a paper and ta-da! no more child support!
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."