OK, so DH has been telling me since I found out about his preggo 15yr old he doesn't really care, it was expected, blah, blah, blah...well, of course, I didn't really buy it...I don't buy it cause he's told me before, "I will not send SD any more money", and OUT OF GUILT, BEHIND MY BACK, he did...then when I found out he came up with "my mistake, I just felt guilty, blah, blah...I'm sorry I hurt you, blah, blah..." and before that it was "I won't send idiot BM a personal CHECK w/our info", and well, you guessed it, once I figured out he did, the excuse was "oh, but it was ONLY one time, I just forgot, blah, blah"...There is ALWAYS a freaking excuse...normally "I wasn't thinking, I felt guilty, I was trying to PROTECT YOU by not telling you so that you wouldn't get stressed, blah, blah, blah, BS!"

So, tonight I had a long talk with him...he was getting upset and I continued to talk until he broke down and cried about his preggo 15yr old...claimed of course he didn't feel guilty, there was nothing he could've done to prevent it, blah, blah...to which I said, "BS, if you truly had peace in your heart, you would be saddened she made such a crappy choice, but you wouldn't be crying...so you need to talk about this BS NOW, 6mos before baby is due so that by the time baby comes you don't come with some BS surprise of "I sent her X because I just felt guilty, you know it's my grandbaby, blah, blah...cause if you lie to me, as you did in November, I am getting the F#$%#$%$#5 out of here"

Then of course he starts the "I hadn't said anything because I don't want to bring you more stress, I know you are stressed cause you're going to the internet alot and you know, I don't mind if you are on the internet researching stuff for our son and therefore, you don't go to sleep with me, but when you are going into that "stepmother" site and others, then you are getting stressed and I just don't want that for you, blah, blah..." Are you kidding me? No, what happens is that you want to throw that BS about me helping OUR son so that I feel guilty about focusing on YOUR CRAP instead of our son and will forget/leave you alone about this BS that has been bestowed upon US now...so that you can handle it however the heck you want...and it ain't going to happen. I told him, if I knew that you actually DEALT with the problems, researched our options, what could happen, how to protect US, etc...I wouldn't have to do it...but you don't...you never do...you act from your heart and each and every time you sc#$%#$% OUR family over because of your child...So you know what? Work through your anger NOW, work through your hurt NOW...so that soon we can discuss options, what we are BOTH willing to do, if anything, etc...so that you don't go behind my back...because if you do, I am getting the heck out of here...I put up with the BS for the past 10 years, I married you, after 10 yrs because by then I trusted you had truly put us as a family first and included me in your decisions that impacted ME and MY SON...and less than two months afterward you went back to your old ways...I am NOT putting up with it again...You claim that you just feel sorry for me because you have me living in some shack and I'm not used to it...BS! You are right, I am NOT used to it...You are right, I gave up more than I should have for your freaking kid and now MY SON AND I Pay the price for your stupidity, for your guilty parenting, etc...well, if you are truly concerned about MY wellbeing, then be a man and step up and either "stand by your word that you won't be doing stuff behind my back which benefits your daughter and hurts our family once again, or have the b#$%#$%LLS to tell me that you will never be able to do that so that I can get the heck out of here and not continue to be stressed the rest of my life by someone who claims to love me, yet continues to lie to me...I will be mad, but will at least admire that you didn't ruin ALL of my life, just the part where I had more money than you and supported you and your kid...but at least at 42, I still have a chance of getting a job and moving on and getting back on my feet...don't continue to drain me mentally and financially for the next 20yrs because of your selfishness...

Sigh, so there it is...I had to get it out...and honestly, I feel bad we just got married, it would tear me up if we divorced, and I know my son will suffer greatly...BUT my son will end up with a dead mom soon from stress or living on the streets from his stupid dad's guilty parenting, so, at least this way, he'll have a chance...sigh...