Here we go AGAIN
Same story...different day. My step-daughter and her wrath have reached dangerous levels. A few weeks ago I decided to go to a counseling session with her. I met with the counselor first, the she did, then we both did. BASICALLY, the counselor told her that she had no right to blame me for everything that has ever gone wrong in her life. She even made my SD repeat what she said. I felt hopeful. Things went well for a week..THEN THERE IT WAS! So this time instead of saying nothing and dealing with a 14 year olds verbal abuse...I got vocal. It got ugly. But here is where I actually became a bit nervous. When she was in her fit throwing and trying to hurt me with anything and everything she could think of (telling me I was hated by everyone including my new husband- her father) her faced changed. I mean CHANGED! She didn't even look like herself. When you see a mass-murderer on television and there is that "look" in their eyes and that crazed facial expression - the one that terrifies most adults...that is what I witnessed. She was vile, evil and spitting venom at me. I have now walked away. I do not have any desire to be around her, she is not welcome in my home, or around my daughters. I believe she is dangerous. I have never in my 38 years witnessed someone become a monster before my eyes. I am devastated, yet now I feel like I can breathe a little easier. I don't know if I have any questions. Maybe....Have any of you gone through THIS ordeal...and did your marriage survive? Basically, this is just me venting. I recently moved and have no "local" friends yet, and my other friends are over 2000 miles away. Sometimes just putting the words down can purge the soul so to speak.
Thanks for listening.
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I have not ... What did your
I have not ... What did your husband say about this?
After I walked away from SD
After I walked away from SD and went into my house (crying) I guess she started to verbally attack her dad and my teen daughter. My daughter "went off" on her stepsister and was actually defending her stepfather (my husband). He said this morning that he has had enough. That no matter how hard he tries and no matter what he does it doesn't make a bit of a difference to her. There was a HUGE disrespect issue before I even knew my husband. I just can't go through all the drama anymore and it is honestly effecting my health lately. My girls and I have been through enough. I did tell my husband that I was so sorry for what he was going through because I had no idea how it felt. My girls (and his 2 sons) are gifts from the heavens. Funny, sweet, wonderfully messy
bright spots in my day. Even when they are acting like "boobs"...they never hit a level of distruction to another person. It's weird to actually feel a bit scared of a 14 year old girl. My 17 year old stepson did say that he had also witnessed the physical change in his sisters face when she becomes "the monster" (I don't know what to call it)
Is it possible that she has
Is it possible that she has an imbalance or some sort of personality disorder? This rage seems so extreme. It almost sounds like she needs medication in addition to the counseling.
I agree it sounds like she
I agree it sounds like she should be medicated
I believe with all of my
I believe with all of my being that there is actually a BIG problem that is not being investigated. Bi-polar? I don't know. I WISH they would at least try a medication (and I am sooo not a med kind of gal) But I think she could do something quite bad in the future to someone if this isn't addressed. I am exhausted today
Thank you so much for talking to me.
I have honestly never seen
I have honestly never seen that look in a child but i sure have in an adult. it's scary no matter who it comes from but harder b/c she's just a child. unfortuantly it's sad b/c people are born everyday into this crazy world we live in and you just never know how they will turn out. i say that maybe she needs to be in juvy or a madison center or something. i know that when i was about 16 i went through this crazy phase and i only spent one day in there before i was crying and screaming to get out! what a wake up call. sometimes we just need a wake up call. its sad though b/c what's hers going to be? there gotta be a way and i hope you find it. i really wish you all the best and good luck!!
p.s.
sometimes people turn out that way no matter how good their parents are. dont ever let her blame her issues on you. no matter how much she says it b/c you know the truth!
I have also not seen this on
I have also not seen this on a child but have an adult...and he was bipolar. Sounds to me like the level of anger in the child is not being dealt with, she's just being asked to admit it's not your fault...that doesn't make it go away. I am dealing with an angry SD 17 and had an angry SS who was much younger. You are just the safer target in my experience...its likely the true source of the anger is lack of control and lack of a voice about the divorce. My SD now was 15 when she came to live in my home and so she was going through a divorce at about that age...she has been very angry and hostile for the past two years. Ultimately, she has started to let go of it....but only because I refused to be that target anymore. As you say, if you draw the line and be finished with it then she has a choice to let it go or hang on to it...with my SD, I just told her she couldn't help her feelings but she needs to own them and deal with them not direct them out at others behaviorally....If you don't talk it out, you end up acting it out.
The "Damien"
The "Damien" commet....EXACTLY. It's so terrifying! About the poor parenting comment...unfortunately, I have to agree. My husband was in the military and away from home a lot during the SD upbringing. The house dragon..or should I say his ex wife has a similar look about her. Dead behind the eyes. She was the one teaching her daughter how to behave 90% of the time. To give you a little insight into the ex wife...she and my husband were married for 20 years. When they separated she was cruel enough to tell him that she hadn't been in love with him in 15 years!!! WHO DOES THAT TO SOMEONE!!! THIS is where the SD is learning that cruelty is ok. In my opinion. All I can do at this point is protect myself and my daughters. Stay strong on my decision to be done with the situation. I don't know if I will ever have any type of relationship with this girl again. And, honestly, at this very moment in time...I do not care to.
After searching the internet
After searching the internet for diagnosis/symptoms of several mental disorders, I found the discription that made me want to throw up. My SD has 95% of the symptoms for "sociopath" diagnosis. Even down to the description of not being disaplined as a child and having a parent who has no social skills. (mother) I shared this with my husband. I think if he and his ex will actually address the situation as extremely serious and get her the kind of help she actually needs, there may be hope for her to grow up to be a normal adult. (I do actually care about her health- but I also care about my safety) I am still going to remove myself from the situation and not have contact with SD. Do you think that makes me a "bad person"....or is it ok to just step back and not take the abuse. I believe it is up to my husband and his ex to handle their child. Yes?