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self centered BM

anbacc's picture

Submitted by anbacc on Fri, 01/08/2010 - 3:51pm

Ugghh, I swear everyday that goes by I am hating BM more and more. This morning I went in to my SD11 room to put her clothes away and decided to see what else her mother has been writing to her ( last blog on try or not try). Sure enough there was some things she should not be saying to her. My SD had ask if she could use her gift card to buy a skateboard and I agreed as long as she did well on her math test and she did so today I am taking her to get her skateboard, well last night she wrote to her mom how excited she was and all BM had to say was why do you want that, scraped knees aren't very attractive in a cheerleading uniform. My SD replied she could put on a bandaid and not to worry because she will be able to carry the skateboard on to the plane in February. BM replies Yeah you will look pretty cute taking that on the plane. ( by the way, we have no visits planned in February, we are in the middle of a custody modification). So BM is letting SD believe that she will be getting on a plane in February to go live with her.
My husband also ask SD if she knew that she will be seeing a social worker on Monday. Out of no where SD ask when the last court date is and my H replies she doesn't need to worry about that. SD then says she knows it is on Jan 20 and that it is the final one. So my H ask how she know that and she says people tell me. H replies, Im not stupid, I know who people are, it's your mom. SD tries to lie to us and H gets upset and say SD isn't being fair to us. She shouldn't be trying to lie to us to protect her mom. So SD finally admits it was BM.
The nerve of this woman! The last court date my H requested that the judge order neither parties to discuss info about the case with SD and the judge agreed and signed off on it. So it's obvious that BM is talking about the case. All any of us are allowed to do is tell her about the social worker and nothing else. So know we have proof that BM is in contempt and we plan to file a letter to the judge on Monday pertaining to this. Hopefully she just made this case a little easier for us.

Comments

Bradybunchmom's picture

Submitted by Bradybunchmom on Fri, 01/08/2010 - 4:08pm

Wow, when I was going through court, I simply told my daughters I was going to talk to a judge, because both of us wanted them to live with us....and that was it.

And how mean to spoil what she wants to buy like that. Makes no difference what we parents think if its something the child wants to try out.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

Submitted by Rainbow.Bright on Fri, 01/08/2010 - 6:37pm

Yep I have one of the BM's in my situation too. The last court date (which we won) was for HALF custody, not even trying to take full custody away. Well, BM didn't like the monetary changes that 1/2 custody would make so she told SD all kinds of things about child support, custody issues, going to court blah blah blah.

My SD is 6 years old, and when this was happening she would say to us "I'm going to court with my mommy so you don't take me away from her." What the hell are you supposed to say to that? Well anyhoo, they put it in the legal paperwork that she is not to discuss that stuff, but it doesn't stop.

So all in all you just have to get as much tangeble evidence as possible, hearsay is pretty much useless anyhow. Hopefully the child just realizes, as I think my SD is finally realizing, that mom is a nutjob. And hopefully the law is on the side of the best interests of the child. I like to hope that the legal system is getting there.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Sat, 01/09/2010 - 1:04pm

Anbacc - your post about what BM said to SD about her skateboard broke my heart because that's exactly the kind of stuff BM would say to SD. She would say stuff like "Everyone will laugh at you", "Everyone will think you look funny"... etc.

NOW, I have to tell on myself too. When I saw SD wearing something (from her mom's house) that was particularly sexually suggestive (thigh high stockings and a mini skirt).... I did pull a line similar. But I think I phrased in a different way.

I told her that that clothing suggests sexually promiscuity to boys, and that is the message she is sending by wearing that to school, and does she want boys to think she is easy? I told her she could NEVER wear that again. Ugh.

I think they are apples and oranges... but in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I'd include it here.

Anyway, I think your BM is a piece of work to make her daughter feel bad about wanting to skateboard, and of COURSE pushing the whole cheerleading, "mommy's perfect little girl" crap on her.

Oh! And BM over here does not discuss court with SD because we have told her that if she or her family discuss any details of our life anymore with SD we are going to (and actually already HAVE) countered with the TRUTH and FACTS. So she may want to keep that stuff to herself.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***