Okay, so SD11 has been back from christmas break for 5 days and everything has been great with her and us. I was a little worried that she might come back with some negativity towards us since we are in the middle of her mother asking for the courts to change custody. The BM tends to overly involve SD in adult issues like court and actually thinks that SD will fully grasp what is happening. So I was well prepared for the comments of wanting to live with her mom, and her hating living with us..We have heard all this before after visits with BM.
Instead she came back very loving toward me and to be honest, I think we bonded more this week than the three years I have been a part of her life. This made me very hopeful that maybe she was just saying stuff to BM because she wants to make BM happy and that maybe SD really does love me and wants to stay here. Well we got SD a new phone for XMAS and last night me and H were playing with it. We read a text that SD wrote her mom saying that she cries for her every night and hopes that BM cries for her as well, and that she hopes she gets to live with her and do cheerleading. Of course BM feeds into it because she thrives of of drama and replies she is sorry SD is so unhappy and that they will be together soon, god has heard their prayers and she will make cheerleading happen for her. I was really hurt after reading this. SD is pretending to love it here and then writing to BM that she doesn't want to live here. No wonder BM thinks she has to save SD from us.
I've been a bit stressed because SD is suppose to talk to a court social worker on Monday and I know BM will convince SD to make H and I out to be horrible parents. I know and H knows we are wonderful parents.YES we are strict and don't put up with disrespect, we make our children do there homework and clean their rooms, but that doesn't make us horrible. We love the kids very much and like any blended family, we get a little stressed sometimes. I just have a hard time putting faith into some court social worker to do her job properly and be able to see the difference. Now after reading that text, I can almost be certain that SD plans to fabricate the situation. My H of course is so positive about everything that ever happens and doesn't seem to think much of this text. He says she is just saying what her mother wants to hear. I guess I'm just scared to lose her in a way, after making progress with her. I told H last night that I don't think I can handle going the extra mile to bond with SD if she ends up living with BM. Every summer would be like starting from scratch, and I can't handle that.

Am I being silly? Should I just let it go and have faith that everything will work out? Or should I disengage myself from SD, stop doing the little extras if she is going to continue making me out to be a horrible part of her life?