I was wrong when I gave my prediction in my last blog about what BM would say in her email back to me. She did something I would never imagine her doing. She didn't respond at all. So I was left wondering, did she come to her senses and realize that what she is doing is only hurting her son? Is she going to keep us more in the loop regarding his health care? Or did she realize that she was in an argument that she could not win and bow out?

Well, I got my answer when SS came on Christmas day. He didn't bring his glasses. Of course. (For anyone who isn't in the loop - SS has been prescribed glasses to try to prevent one of his eyes from becoming a lazy eye. I work in ophthalmology. BM, to exercise her power over the situation, wants me to have no knowledge about it and refuses to "let me" help at all.) SS is going to be here for over a week...a whole week without his glasses. He states that he rarely wears them at home, but is "supposed to" wear them at school. They may as well just have thrown their money in the garbage instead of buying them.

When BF asked if he brought his glasses, SS got really quiet and said no and looked down at the ground. BF asked if SS got in trouble about his glasses when he went home last time. He said yes. Today we passed by BM's house twice and I asked if we should stop and get his glasses. SS adamantly said no.

I think that BM deliberately kept the glasses home this time to show ME that she is the one who has the power and to make sure that I have no involvement whatsoever. I am so appalled at this behavior and it really makes me upset. To think that she would do something that will have long-term, noticeable and measurable adverse effects on her son's health just to put me in my place is so immature and disgusting.

I want so badly to write her an email. This is what I want to say:

BM,

I see that SS didn't bring his glasses with him this time. You and I both know that he needs to wear his glasses all the time to help his right eye develop correctly and prevent permanent vision loss. I don't believe that you need me to tell you how important this is to the development of his eyes as he ages. With that in mind, I can only assume that this was a deliberate action on your part to keep me from becoming involved.

When SS grows up to resent you for your power plays that resulted in long-term effects on his health, I hope you realize that you did this to yourself. As he becomes more independent and you come to the understanding that your relationship with your son is ruined because of all the things you did in his youth and adolescence to try to keep him from loving anyone but you, I hope that you then have the epiphany that this was the inevitable outcome that everyone has been warning you about all along. And when your only son realizes that he is happier without you in his life and comes to resent you for treating him like your property, and he pushes you away because of all that you have done to him and to us through him, I hope you understand that the fault lies entirely with you. We have done everything we can to encourage him to have a healthy and loving relationship with you. You do everything in your power to attempt to keep him from developing healthy or loving relationships with his father and myself as his stepmother. When all is said and done, and your relationship with your son is damaged beyond repair because of all that you have done to try to keep him all to yourself, I hope it was worth it.

Nymh