bm's bf is hitting ss with a belt ....

when he is bad. okay, first my dh does spank ss4, but only like once every 3 months because he really never is badly behaved. ss4 informed me this weekend that bm's bf is hitting with the belt on his bottom when he is bad. it seems like he is badly behaved quite often, because ss4 says that he does it alot.

i understand that kids make things up and exaggerate, but the way this came out i know for a fact that bm's bf is hitting him with the belt. We have court the end of oct. bm is trying to get full custody. I cant write all the things we have against her in case she finds this site, but what do you think this new discovery will increase our chances of getting full custody?

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I'd call the police

today. That man has noo business beating the boy with a belt. BM has no business letting him. I swat the butt when littles needs it (turning the microwave on 80 hours..stuff that could hurt him). But what could the 4 year old be doing to justify a belt from a non-parent?

smnikki...i'd advocate for this child if I were you. Call social services, do something. He's too little to defend himself.

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton

i agree

A belt is way overboard!! And like AllSmiles said, hes not even the parent! I'd so something for sure. Maybe you can call the lawyer for advice on how to handle it.

Agreed...

There is absolutely NO reason to ever ever ever spank a 4 year old with a belt!!! And ESPECIALLY by the step-parent!

same here

what the hell is wrong with people?!

I agree that this sort of behavior is beyond inappropriate. Spanking in itself can be questionable, but I was spanked as a kid and when it was done in limit and lightly, I was ok. I was also spanked with a belt, a rope, and had things thrown at my head and that shit I remember as terrifying.
Please at least consult DH and have him consult BM. If the least you can do is bring awareness it's a positive step forward.

If you wish to give off light, you must endure the burning.

omg

help that little boy! Definitely contact an attorney asap and get that man to STOP! Will you be seeing SS anytime soon? If so, I'd check his bottom and back and all over for any marks or bruises and take photos of anything that's found. Oh, my heart goes out to that little boy. Every child acts badly, it's to be expected, but a belt??!?!?!?!?

i dont think hes getting beat

but i still dont think its right that the bf is hitting him at all weather its a hand or belt. ss is very well behaved, with us anyways, and only has an attitude sometimes or will pout because it works at bm's house...but nothing that some tickling wont get rid of.

we just dont think that since there is any proof but ss's words it will do any good to call cps, and think we should wait to bring it up in court. I dont think that ss is in physical danger, but i think that the psychological effects are not good.

im just not sure what to do

no, simply bringing this up

no, simply bringing this up in court and two of you did nothing to try to help the boy (call cps) makes you look bad too

child abuse hotline!!!!!!!

1-800-482-5964

Call it if you suspect that this is out of line!!!!!! and call it now if you think there is a problem.

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

I agree this child needs

I agree this child needs help if this man her bf is hitting this child at all, especially a 4yr old. Someone does need to advocate for this child. Before I married dh and was a single mother to bs if any boyfriend I had ever touched my kid he'd be out on his ass!

Nikki....you MUST do something

NOW! You told me that you value my opinion, so I am telling you that this is NOT right. I don't agree with hitting a kid, ever, with anything but a butt smack with the hand...enough to get his/her attention. PLEASE, please, please call someone, TODAY!!! Call me if you need to! HUGS

sia

we dont have any proof except for ss telling us. There are no marks, and i dont think that bm's bf is hitting him hard enough to leave marks, i worry about the emotional and psychologial ramifications.

Last night we took ss to the fair and he told me he wanted to go on a fun house thing, dh said no because he knew ss would chicken out. well, ss is the biggest chicken and i think its due to bm trying to keep him a baby as long as possible, but he really has much more fear than any other kids i see.

anyways, he turned the corner in the fun house and started to freak out because he didnt want to climb up to the slide, he FREAKED out and went hysterical, the guy working the ride went to open a gate to let him out and he freaked out more and ran in to a bar of the gate. Now he has this huge bump and bruise on his head.

its seems that cps is called so much by people, dh and i are afraid to call and then have no proof but ss's word.

bm has threatend to call on us, and we dont want to start a petty back and forth calling of cps, because he is a boy and he will get bumps and bruises, we are afraid that cps will dismiss this with no proof and bm and her bf will get away with it. We are thinking its better to bring it up in court and use it as a justification for us getting full custody. ss NEVER behaves with us in any way to warrant hitting with the belt, and to me this clealy shows that if he is acting up that much over there then he is not happy or emotionally safe over there.

Him saying it is proof

enough for you to at least call CPS and have them investigate it. Most of them are trained enough to know when a child is embellishing or when they are telling the truth. Please call them. If you make a report against her, they likely won't allow her to file a claim against you since there's an open case against her.

That's not cool at all.

That's not cool at all. Does ss have welts on his behind? If he does take pics for the courts.

Nice and thanks for given

Nice and thanks for given information to us.Nice idea and we can develop the country.
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Your site always has some

Your site always has some good info to share..got you bookmarked..Thanks!
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NO, NO, NO, Hitting, Hitting

NO, NO, NO, Hitting, Hitting ONLY teaches children, its OK TO HIT. There are other ways to correct a child, WITHOUT VIOLENCE.

ALSO, WHY DON'T THESE KIDS HAVE GUARDIAN AD LITEMS IN COURT???
THEY CAN TALK TO THE KIDS ALONE, AS LONG S A CHILD CAN SPEAK (OLD ENOUGH), AND GIVE THE COURT INFORMATION,WHICH CAN HELP A CHILD.
THE GUARDIAN CAN'T TAKE SIDES, THEY LOOK OUT OF THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.
YOU CAN ASK A JUDGE FOR ONE, FOR YOUR CHILD, AND THEY WORK FOR FREE, ITS LIKE A CHILD HAVING THEIR OWN LITTLE ATTORNEY.
I BET IF A GUARDIAN AT LITEM, TALKED TO THE FOUR YEAR OLD...THINGS WOULD BE DEALT WITH.

First of all, how "bad" can

First of all, how "bad" can a child that is 4 be to get spanked? I DO NOT believe in hitting children, it only teaches them to hit and then they get hard, cold and defiant.

I think about it like this, as an adult if I did something "bad" and another adult hit me... would I just take it? HELL NO, they would get the crap kicked out of them. But how does a poor child that cant defend his or her self feel! Parents are supposed to protect children from abuse, not be the abuser.

A belt on a 4 year old is abuse plan and simple! I cannot imagine hitting my 5 year old, that would break my heart. I can only imagine the sadness this poor child is going thru with everyone that is supposed to love him, does nothing but physically hurt him.