I believe I have found the key to helping a troubled teen succeed.

My son is 14. Anyone who keeps up with me knows that he is a royal PITA. He's failing, backtalking, terrible manners, etc. And it's not for a lack of trying on my part, at least so I've said so far. Now I'm beginning to think it was 100% my fault for not doing this sooner.......I've gotten all in his grill (as he says) and really transformed his life, he's not liking it right now.

I cleaned out his room, his entire room. Packed it all up, including his shoes, cloths, underwear, socks, EVERYTHING down to the pics on the wall. Packed up and locked up in our shed.

I went to goodwill and bought him 7 new outfits, shoes, a new hoodie, and at wal mart new socks and underroos.

The thing with the cloths is that he is a skater punk. He looks like one to. That's all changed now, now he has pants that fit, decent shirts, I'm making him tie his shoes instead of doing that stupid lacing shit that he always does.

I also shaved his head.

I pick out his outfit at night and get up with him in the morning. I'm going to get him an appt to get him back on his ADHD meds to..........

So, this morning was the first back in school since the whole thing. He was madder than a wet hen this morning. I knew there would be trouble. I called the principal to get on the same page with him and see if he could check to make sure son didn't swap cloths with another kid or something. To my surprise my son was sitting in the office right that moment. He had gotten in trouble for refusing to take his hoodie hat off his head.

I went to the school. I dragged him out of class by his ear, took him to the hall, cut the hoodie hat off and told him that shouldn't be a problem again now that he doesn't, and won't have another either.

I fussed him up one side and down another right there, I know the other kids and teachers heard.

Oh, and while cleaning out his backpack I found letters from his GF where she talks about CUTTING herself when he tries to break up with her, etc. I turned those into the principal. I would hope another parent would do the same for me, I would want to know if my child was cutting himself.

So.........since he acted stupid this morning he is going to bed at 8 tonight, instead of the usual 10 bedtime. Since he got in trouble at school I'm taking one of his shirts and replacing it with one of my girl ones. That's what he'll be wearing tomorrow.

Extreme? Yes..................warranted? COMPLETLEY.

Oh, and did I mention that I enrolled him in STAR? He has his prevent day this Thursday. I have to get him to the school at 5:20 am..........ugh. But hey, whatever it takes.

I'm getting this kid back on track one way or another, like it or not. He can threaten me with what ever the hell he wants, he will obey or suffer the consequences.

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I know, the girl shirt thing

I know, the girl shirt thing is very extreme, and mean. I know. But I told him time and time again that if he messed up he has nothing else to lose except his goodwill cloths. And they would be replaced with mine. He knew the consequences, but again, he thinks I won't follow through. I have to or it'll be the same old thing ya know.

I know, I hate it to. I hate all of this. It breaks my heart to be this way with him. I don't want to, especially at the holidays. I love my son, I love him SOOOO much! That's why I have to do this though. Because I love him and want him to have a future. Me not changing it is helping him to have no future, I couldn't live with that.

Thanks Stepaside! I'll keep you updated on how it goes....

Jen, I am so proud of you

Jen, I am so proud of you for doing this! It takes an incredibly strong parent to do all that you are doing for the sake of your child. Good Luck to you.
Eventually he will see that you did this for his own good, though he probably doesn't like you very much right now. Stay strong!!!!

Giana, I'm flexing my mommy

Giana, I'm flexing my mommy muscles right now. They won't be deflating until he does the changing.

Oh, though he's my bio I'll

Oh, though he's my bio I'll have to vent here about it. If I don't I'll end up killing him!

Stay tuned for my next dramatic adventure!

The living with dad hasn't

The living with dad hasn't came out yet, though I'm shocked. But instead he told the principal today that he would act stupid every day until I had no choice but to put him in the black program of star. That's where they have to wear the black uniforms and are in there every day, etc. The only reason he wants me to do this is so that he doesn't have to wear the cloths I picked out, stupid! But I talked with STAR and they said it doesn't matter, he can wear his own cloths since he thinks thats how it works!

He's going to be very angry with mommy when he gets home today!

But vick, I'm sure the dad card is not to far away.

I love it! This is what

I love it! This is what "tough love" is all about. Stick to your guns and follow through with consequences for his every action. You will see ppositive results.

My SS came to live with me and DH when he was 14. My house seemed like a boot camp compared to being at home with BM. Guess what? He's back home with BM now because he knows he can get away with anything there. It's a shame.

That's exactaly what would

That's exactaly what would happen to us if I didn't step it up right now. I see it now, what I was doing wasn't enough, though I felt like I was jumping through hoops. I needed to do more with him.......better late than never. And now it's raining punishment on him.

You know what it is? I love my boy, I want to have fun with him and buy him stuff, etc. I really ENJOY doing things for and with him. I didn't want to give any of that up. I hate to feel like I'm mad at him all the time....does that make any sense? So I let things slide that I shouldn't have.

Not now, guilty mommy is gone for eva!

Well you can't compare me

Well you can't compare me and the Gir by any means! LOL!

I was jumping hoops, just not enough.

But hey, you have to see it to change it right? I finally got past my mommy goggles to see it.

Maybe we should slap Gir upside her head until her goggles fall off?? }:)

DPWB, exactaly, I'm being a

DPWB, exactaly, I'm being a parent. I'm no longer going to play contest with x for my sons affection. Hate me, I don't give two shits. Either way he is going to grow up to love me. One day, one day he will see it ALL for what it is and know that I've been there for him from day 1, by myself I might add until I met DH, and I've done all that I could for him.

I will keep reading your

I will keep reading your story with your son. Mine has been okay since last Wednesday, so hopefully, I won't have to do anything this drastic. Good job, Jen!!

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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

Good, I'm glad one of our

Good, I'm glad one of our boys is behaving themselves!

Jen... hang in there!!

Jen... hang in there!! That's all I can say... I know you love him so much and that's why you're doing what you're doing. And OMG I know that must really hurt you too. Know I'm thinking about you!!!!!! (((HUGS)))

And... I'm thanking the Good Lord above for perfectson. I don't think I could ever handle what you're dealing with!!! You are amazing!!!

Wicked, I think about you

Wicked, I think about you every time stuff goes down with my son. It's always like "Damn, why can't mine be perfect to?" LOL!!!

But I knew you'd understand exactaly what I mean about how much I love him, and that being why I have to crack down. But it hurts mommy to............I gotta just stay tough though. I can't think about it hurting me, not in front of him anyway!

Yes ma'am... I sure do know

Yes ma'am... I sure do know about loving those baby boys!!! You keep on hanging tough girl and I'm right here for you any time you need me!!!!

OMG, Jen, you are my HERO! I

OMG, Jen, you are my HERO!

I agree, if I had pulled the attitude your son has with you, with MY parents, they would have done the exact same thing. As I say to my DH, If you try to be both a friend and a parent to your kid, you're likely going to fail at one of them.

SOOOOOO proud of you! Please, please, please, keep us all updated DAILY!

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin