Its that time of the year again.
I don't know what it is about my DH but every year when they holidays get stressful he goes around threatenting divorce....saying shit like if things don't change by the first of the year its over...last night it was I would rather be paying you child support thatn see you face anymore...
Well my our boys would at least get more from him that way...
I am so fed up. I am the only one in this who has tried to make it work. I have changed, and I dont like who I have become. I am bitchier but because I am fed up with getting treated like dirt, getting leftovers, getting no attention from DH while Princess SD15 and Prince SS15 get everything from him. I can live with it but I can't live with watching by biokids our kids get the left overs too...I am tired of the step kids always being first. I am tired of my boys coming in second fiddle, I am tired of coming in last. SO therefore I bitch to get some sort of fair treatment...Well I am done changing for him, he is the one who has needed to change....so if he really wants to call it quits...bring it on...because I surrender. I would rather surrender and give up than accept a life full of white trash!!!
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"last night it was I would
"last night it was I would rather be paying you child support thatn see you face anymore..."
That's an awful thing for him to say - what even started the argument?
It sounds like there are some deep-rooted issues, have you guys tried couples counselling so you can discuss them in a neutral environment?
Ultimately, only you can decide if the relationship is worth fighting for, and on what your are & aren't willing to compromise.
what started the argument
what started the argument was that I spent 40$ on lice treatments for myself and my kids and the house after SD15 gave it to us.
I dont think couples talk
I dont think couples talk divorce unless they somehow want it.
It doesnt sound you like you are happy, and apparently he has been using this card for years. Personally if I was unhappy I would call his bluff. Fine start off with no sex, if that is not gone already.
Make your seperation, if he doesnt want to see your beautiful face, so be it.
We have tried couples
We have tried couples counselling in the past, actually before we even married and he would never fully participate or follow through with the therapists suggestions. He wont change and does not take life seriously!
Yes I am unhappy. But I do not want to share custody with this man. I can't get him to respect my wishes as a parent while marrid to him, how the hell am I going to do it when we are seprated.
I can totally understand
I can totally understand that, a friend of mine biggest fear is her DH having the kids without her, EOW. She is the buffer that keeps them healthy, mentally and physically.
If he is not going to participate in therapy, why waste your money on him. Maybe you can talk to someone who will get you thru the tough times.
I know that this time of year is stressful especially if you dont have the finacial security. Dont I know that! but carrying on about $40.00 to get rid of lice.
Put some lice in his underwear
Funny you said that about
Funny you said that about the lice in his underware...my mom is hoping he gets the lice so he sees how humilating, itchy and painful it is. I told him when he was bitching at me that i should have saved a few of the bugs to drop on his pubes.
I agree, no threats should
I agree, no threats should be made at all. If you aren't happy and he won't go to counseling, you need to make a big decision. He can't do that to you all of the time. Its not healthy.
Yeah I have some thinking to
Yeah I have some thinking to do/ After I blew off my steam at him this morning. I was so hurt by his remarks last night and then being called stupid for the millionth time this week that I called him and his children from the previous marriage white trash. I didn't mean it so much about him. I do mean it about his kids because they are just like POS BM...But my husband does act pretty trashy sometimes with his language, humor and priorities and he makes me feel trashy for being here with him, his kids his baggages and thier lice. It is not neccesarily a white trash thing to get lice because it happens but it does not happen to normal people over and over and over...At some point a 15 year old gilr should know better and not share hats and brushes.
Yup Yup. I would tell him
Yup Yup. I would tell him "don't let the door hit ya,where the good Lord split ya." I would never put up with anyone talking to me like that.
What helped me get through divorce from my children's father was realizing that it was better for them to have two happy homes rather than one miserable one.
" I would rather be paying
" I would rather be paying you child support thatn see you face anymore..."
Wow. If my husband ever said that, they would be the last words he ever uttered to me.
You know, I think that there are two basic attitudes to marriage vows. Some people take "for better or for worse" to mean, "It's my vow to stick with you and treat you with the respect you deserve, through thick and thin." Others take it to mean, "Now that we're married, you have to treat me right and accept me as I am, whether I'm trying or not."
My first husband was the second kind. He never did ANYTHING wrong, in his eyes -- and now that I think of it, that's no exaggeration. I cannot remember a single time that he ever admitted his role in any of our problems. I realized after 3 1/2 years of marriage to him that our vows were a one way street: HE had no obligation to respect me -- he felt he could say and do anything he wanted, because we were married so I was supposed to just take it.
Thank god my DH now is the first kind. He never berates me, never insults me, and always respects and treats me like an equal -- or better. Invisiblestepmom, guys like my first husband are a dime a dozen. You can go out and find a guy to treat you like sh*t any day of the week. Why stay with this one?
BB
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
That seems to be my husbands
That seems to be my husbands exact attitude towards marriage and probably what led his first wife to have an affair.