i hear ya, sd11 is the same, maybe worse. to tell ya the truth, ignoring them works. i havent spoken to sd11 in maybe 3 days now, completly ignore her. while i am still manically depressed, not talking to her helps. and i can see how annoyed she is getting by it, but she dug her own grave. try to ignore. and even if your dh doesnt like it, oh well, she's his kid and should be his problem.

You should talk with other women....
Spend time just venting, Get yourself relaxed and re energized for this girl.
This child does not need to be ignored.
No child needs that.

Keep yourself involved with other good women. Who can be there to support you.
Keep consistent with her, and give a little more of yourself to her. she probably needs this more than anything right now.
Let her crap keep coming out for a while. Show her you are strong enough to let her little attitude mean nothing to you. And that the bond that can grow for the both of you means more.
Let her know her mistakes are ok. And that you will be there for her.
Be the mother/mentor/caregiver she has been needing in her life.

Uh, nope I don't agree with you this time Jon-boy. This is not what she signed on for. This is not her job. The kid already has a mother. At what point do you (generally) stop being a doormat by allowing someone else's kid to make your (generally) own kids' lives a living hell based on the choices YOU (generally) made?

I am also not one to quickly go to mental illness as a cause for behavior problems. Jeez, it seems that most kids are being medicated for regular behavioral problems and it really is poor parenting that is the root cause of that affliction. It is sad too because it takes away from the children that truly do suffer from true mental disabilities. Its like a woman with PMS. There are very few women that REALLY suffer from PMS but most women will hide behind this phenomenon to justify their own bad behavior.

If I were you, I would tell my husband that until HE can get the child to behave and to treat the people in your household with respect, then HE can take her out to dinner or soemthing on his own. She will not be welcome back in your home until then. Put it on him sara. Its his kid!

So let me understand this.
She did not sign up for this? Didn't the marriage license say something to the effect of better or worse?
Just because the kid has a mother does not mean you can't be a great influence to her as well.
I never said anything about being a doormat.

Shoot I will need to continue this later.
gatta diner date with the wife,
Kids are gone for a few hours!
Be back

I believe those vows are between the man and the woman, not the man the woman and his children. Besides, she said she tried to build the girl up, at what expense to herself does she have to continue to put up with crap from a child that has a set of parents. THOSE parents should have taught her values and respect.

Sorry sarabella2,
As you can see there are many viewpoints on here.

I am usualy always in the spirit of making a difference in a kid's life.
There are many people on this forum that are hard struck with believing a "childs actions" can control thier own happiness.
And there are those that believe in there own happiness.
Sure a kid can get the best of you. We all have room to grow in our parenting methodes.
Maybe I don't know enough about this troubled kid. Maybe she is putting your lives in danger. I don't know.
I did not get that from your post.

It sounded like a kid lashing out.
Which are signs of, some parents that need a little coaching.
Some positive feedback that may make a huge difference in that kids life.

Sure boundries are needed. they are needed in good relationships too.
Anyways,
My post is my opninion.