So...you got advice telling you that being with your BF wasn't the brightest idea due to all the drama. You ignored that advice,ignored the warnings of how hard you were making your life by staying around and continue to sit in the same situation. Now you're marrying this man and his psycho bm and want more advice and help...

hmmmm...sorry sweetie, I got nothin'.

Good luck.

~Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them so much~ Oscar Wilde

I found the following information for you based on the laws for your state:

Q: I am divorced and have custody of my children. What should I do if I want to move?
A.: Ohio law requires you to file a notice of intent to relocate with the court that issued the custody order. The notice of intent to relocate must include your new address unless this is otherwise prohibited by a court order. The court will send a copy of the notice to relocate to the non-custodial parent.

Q.: My ex-spouse does not want me to move with our children. What should I do?
A.: If a non-custodial parent objects to the relocation after receiving the notice of intent to relocate, the court in which the notice was filed will conduct a hearing to determine whether a modification of the parenting time schedule may be made to accommodate the relocation. For example, if an increased geographical distance between the parents makes weekly or bi-weekly parenting time impossible, then the court may allow the children to spend a long summer vacation and most school breaks with a non-custodial parent to compensate. Ohio law provides that a court may allow such a modification if it is determined to be in the children’s best interest.

Q: How does a court determine if a modification of the parenting time schedule to accommodate relocation is in the children’s “best interest”?
A.: Ohio law provides that a court must consider several factors to determine whether such a modification is in the children’s best interest.
These factors include, but are not limited to:
1) the reason for the anticipated move, such as employment opportunities or remarriage;
2) the distance that a relocation will put between the children and the non-custodial parent;
3) the involvement of the children’s extended family, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins;
4) the non-custodial parent’s relationship with the children;
5) the parents’ ability to communicate and cooperate with each other about matters relating to the children; and
6) the financial, physical and emotional ability of the parents and the children to travel for parenting time purposes.

Q.: I am a divorced parent, and my ex-spouse, who has custody of our children, wants to move. What are my rights?
A.: Once you receive the notice of intent to relocate from the court, you must request a court hearing to determine whether it is appropriate to modify the parenting time schedule to accommodate the relocation. If a court determines that it is appropriate to make such a modification, the court will then determine an appropriate parenting time schedule. If the court determines that it is not appropriate to modify the current schedule, then your spouse will not be able to move with the children to any location that will make it impossible to follow the current schedule.

Q.: Why would a court deny a parent’s request to relocate?
A.: Ohio law provides that modification of a parenting time schedule to accommodate a relocation will not be allowed if the move would not be in the children’s best interest. Relocation requests may be denied for many reasons including the following:
1) there is no legitimate reason for the move;
2) there is significant local involvement of the children’s extended family; and
3) there is evidence that the relocating parent is unable or unwilling to cooperate with the parenting schedule.

Q.: What happens if a court denies a request to relocate?
A.: If the custodial parent decides to move with the children despite the court’s denial of the request to relocate, then the custodial parent is in violation of the court order. The non-custodial parent may then ask the court to hold the custodial parent in contempt, order the return of the children, and grant custody to the non-custodial parent.

If the custodial parent decides to move anyway, but without the children, the court may issue an order granting custodial rights to the original non-custodial parent, and parenting time to the other parent. In either of these scenarios, the law requires the court to base its decision on the best interest of the children.
If the custodial parent decides not to relocate, the prior court order regarding parenting time will continue to be in force.

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

JamaicanMeCrazy

I gotta agree with BBB and I'm although I absolutely despise this phrase, for once it actually fits in your situation - "you knew what you were getting in to". Sorry. I hope you're a strong person because once you get married to this guy, you're tied to his problems and the skid/ex wife issues, no matter how hard to try to ignore or disengage. Best wishes - stay grounded and strong because you're going to need it.

I'm sure at one point we've all been asked "what the hell are still doing with him".......so girl who cares what you were told before. My DH's x is a psycho from hell, but that didn't stop me from marrying him. And if I had found ST before the wedding I still would have married him....I love him!

I really feel bad for you FH right now. He must be going through hell thinking that she is going to up and move his kids so far away from him. I can't even imagine the pain I'd feel if I didn't get to see my kids all the time. I'm sorry for both of you, this is a hard thing to go through.

Find that lawyer girl, do what you have to do. I don't think she can decide it's okay without him agreeing to it, atleast I hope not anyways! Maybe this is where you guys can get custody?

2inluv - first write down exactly why it would not be in the child's best interest to relocate. For example, an obvious reason would be less contact with dad, but you need to *prove* that BM will impair that contact with your BF.

You said there was PAS: what is your proof and evidence of this?
Provide all of the documents that show the abuse charges were dropped, it may not have helped at that particular time to gain custody, but it could help in preventing a move if this is shown as a way she tried to limit contact with dad.

Is BM working now? What does she currently make?

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Well, sounds like your future DH is going to need some serious support from you, because this woman is never going to go away.

So...you need to figure out what you can do to help him. First try and contact a fathers rights group in your state. They will find the appropriate attorney for you. They will also tell you what you should be documenting, etc.

Also, grow a tough skin, you're going to need it. Women like that either don't change, or something really drastic has to happen for them to. She's bitter and hateful. Don't be like her. You may want to consider counseling as well, it will help to have someone that you can just talk to other than faceless people on the internet.

Also, I agree with NoMoreFaking. On this site, you have to just take what you need and leave rest. I have been on the receiving end of a certain someone's "Holier Than Thou" attitude, and don't let it get to you. You have a crazy enough BM to be concerned about.

Take care of yourself, take care of your soon to be DH, and your skid.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt