You are here

Anyone's DH representing themselves in custody battle?

2inluv2run's picture

Submitted by 2inluv2run on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 11:48am

So my BF is considering representing himself in the current full custody battle that he has going on with BM. They have been in court for over a year, lawyers fees are getting up to about $10,000 not including the GAL fees and now a psych eval that needs to be done. That has a starting retainer of $1800 and "could be more". We can not afford to keep spending this kind of money, especially given the current economy crisis. Has anyone gone this route and had any success with it? We were told that in 90% of cases the judge will use the psych's recommendation. If this is the case, whats the point in having a lawyer? Oh, I was also wondering about the psychological evaluation. DH had requested that BM have one done and the courts decided that both parties should have one. I have to be included in DH's since we live together. Anyone know what this entails? Any info would be greatly appreciated!

Comments

2inluv2run's picture

Submitted by 2inluv2run on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 12:15pm

GAL is the Guardian Ad Litem for the child. She is the court appointed attorney for the child. She racks up fees separate from our lawyer fees. I honestly dont know about a public defender, but I doubt BF would go for it. It's such a shame but after all this time, I know he's almost at the point of giving up even fighting her. She is not willing to negotiate anything and since its started BF has gone from "shared parenting" to Wed night and EOW. All he's asking for is to pick him up from school on Friday's of his weekend (instead of BM dropping him off at 6pm) and keep him Sunday night and take him to school Monday morning (instead of dropping him off at BM's house Sunday at 6pm). She wont agree to this because as she says "if he's not going to be a family he's not going to see his son at all". She's just dragging it out as long as she can because she knows he will run out of money. Her parents are paying all of her court fees while she continues to live on welfare because (gasp) she couldnt possibly work and go to school at the same time!! (She's been in college for over 10 years now with no degree). Sorry I got off on a tangent...

disgusted's picture

Submitted by disgusted on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 3:23pm

Yeah...My husband did. He was awarded full sole custody and the BM does not even have visitation rights. I guess that was one of his benefits to having a "fiance" (me) who had a degree in paralegal studies and had already completed her own divorce with out an attorney and got everything she wanted too! lol..

What brand of custody hearing are you having and what are the stipulations???

"Stupid People Shouldn't Breed!"

groovetheory's picture

Submitted by groovetheory on Thu, 03/26/2009 - 3:48pm

However, I must add. That SDs BM is a real mess, dysfunctional and never even showed up to court. She isn't civilized at all. That made it all the easier. It only costed us $100 or so get SD. However, in a case that you have an actual civilized BM, and there is acutal competition in who gets who - I would at least seek advisement of a legal rep. Does BM have one? If she doesn't then I would definately go for it...if she is represented, I would at least try to get someone.

SoontobeWifeandMom's picture

Submitted by SoontobeWifeandMom on Fri, 03/27/2009 - 7:14am

When DH and I went to court we had a lawyer, but we did all the paper work and pretty much handed him the case. He was on retainer for one court case and basically only a week. We just wanted to scare BM in court since she did not have one. We ended up getting everything we wanted plus some which was nice. And now there is actual paper work which states DH has child. Before hand there was no offical parenting plan. However, I must mention that our BM is crazy, an alcoholic, has bad BF with actual criminal record (that was a major thing, and she has left SD2 alone in an apartment while she was at work. So all in all she is a mess and really incriminated herself. Thank God DH is a good parent or poor SD2 would be in foster care right now. Another thing worth mentioning is that the way our court case worked I wouldn't hire a lawyer again. The judge was really fair and generally cared about SD's health. I was really surprised to how fast the whole thing went. I hope it works out for you! And remember no matter how hard it gets, children are always worth fighting for.

Ashley W